My grandmother, age 78, has been diagnosed with dementia. Looking back, I think that these problems have been going on with her for about 5 or 6 years. After her husband of 50 years passed away. She woke up one morning and called me to tell me that the neighbors had stolen some of her land. This is not true and I knew it was not. The land had been sold for twenty years or more. She has caused problems with the neighbors over this and goes through spells where she sees them doing things or calling and there is not evidence of this. It started out that she would go through these spells every few months and now we are down to weekly occurences, when she is at her worst daily occurences. She is taking Namenda, Ambilfy, and Exelon for her dementia and behavorial problems. She has recently came home from the hospital from heart disease problems and low blood pressure. Right now she is staying by herself - and a nurse from home health is coming by 3x a week and physical therapy is coming by 3x. I know she probably shouldn't be staying by herself, she has no living children, but 3 grown grandchildren living next door (including myself). We have concinved her not to drive because of her blood pressure problems, for the time being. So hard to make these decisions for a grandparent - I wish my dad were here to help. Do you have any suggestions where we should turn from here if she is not able to stay by herself. Her short term memory is getting worse and long term is sketchy sometimes. How will we know? She dresses herself, bathes herself but we have to remind and re-remind her of everything, even when writing notes she gets confused sometimes.
Thanks for any help!

Dear GracieS,

In your message you mentioned several issues that are not uncommon in persons with dementia. You talked about your grandmother's delusional thinking and the resulting conflict with her neighbors, you shared your concern about your grandmother's driving and and you voiced your concern regarding her overall decline in functioning. You asked how you will know when she neeeds a different level of care.

Delusional thinking is a fixed belief in something that isn't true. This can lead to anxiety and agitation in persons with dementia. Your grandmother has a strong belief that her neighbors have stolen some of her land. Imagine how upsetting it would be to know your neighbors had done such a thing! It would be very disturbing for anyone. I would talk with her psychiatrist or neurologist about these symptoms and the medications she is on. A change in medication might help this problem.

Regarding her driving, this is a serious issue. You said for now it has worked to tell her she can't drive due to her blood pressure problem. I would suggest you take further measures in case she forgets about the blood pressure issue. Sometimes caregivers disable a vehicle so that their loved one can't drive. This can be done by, for instance, disconnecting the battery cable or removing the distributor. Sometimes caregivers change out the keys on the loved one's key chain.

I would suggest that you contact your local chapter regarding help in care planning for your grandmother. They could help arrange a family care conference with a social worker knowlegable about the disease and aware of local resources. You can contact the local chapter through the "Find Us Anywhere" link on our website.

If you would like to discuss this matter with one of our Care Consultants you can reach us on our 24-hour helpline at: 800-272-3900.

Thank you for using the Alzheimer's Association Online Community.

Best wishes,

Charlie

Gracie I have took care of my gram for five years. I understand what you are having to go through. For me I had to take my grams car apart and she got a neighbor to fix it. The keys were a better option for me. Please email me if you want to talk