My husband is 80 and was diagnosed with Dementia 2 years ago. My biggest problem is that he is also dealing with severe spinal stenosis pain. he currently is taking Namenda for the Dementia, Sertraline for depression and Lorcet for the back pain. he has macular degeneration and a hearing problem. I have been his caregiver for 2 years, 24/7, but he remains a "very" unhappy person.

I feel guilty because if I don't get some "away" time from this situation, I'm going to loose my mind.
How do I handle the guilt? If I suggest to him that I am going to get someone to take care of him over a weekend, he says "NO" he can take care of himself.

We have a dughter living close by, but she's not willing to take care of him overnight. She's scared!
What are my alternatives?

Dorothy,

It's not uncommon for a caregiver such as yourself to feel a sense of guilt at wanting some "away" time from the daily challenges associated with caring for a loved one with dementia. What's more is that your husband has other physical conditions that, I would imagine, make it even more stressful and challenging for you. That said, you're perfectly justified in wanting to give yourself a break given the rigorous demands and the physical, mental, as well as emotional toll that caregiving exerts.

Sometimes, caregivers are confronted with a situation in which it'd be in everyone's best interests for the caregiver to prioritize her own well-being over that of others, including the one with dementia. This is one such case where your mental (and physical) health can be compromised if you accede to everyone else's demands, and yet, neglect your own needs. In short, I would simply suggest that you procure an in-home aide as you were planning to do (and over your husband's resistance or objection) as it's equally imperative that you monitor and ensure your own health and well-being (in addition to that of your husband). Additionally, perhaps an adult day care facility during the weekdays might afford you an opportunity for some caregiving assistance during the week. Please don't hesitate to call us at 800-272-3900 if we can provide any further assistance.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Jin K.,