Mom is in stage 6 living with Dad at home, he is not capable of providing proper care (she doesnt bathe and he wont let anyone in to assist), house is in awful condition, and children feel she needs to be out of the house. He's very stubborn as well as in denial (still gets mad with her for losing or forgetting things). In is frustration he's mentioned suicide but now I'm afraid he'll carry it out as she deteriorates,needs care and knows that children want her in AL. Can a child be given guardianship of parent over spouse?

The courts will grant quardianship as they determine what is best for the person. If things have gotten as bad as you say both parents need immediate help. Have you spoken with their MD, and have you considered getting adult protective services involved.

Dear susanhad

It might be a good idea to talk to dad's doctor on how he is doing. It is possible for you to obtain guardianship if the doctor can write a statement that dad is unable to take care of mom due to stress, distress, etc. I would also talk to his doctor about him mentioning suicide as a major concern.

Besides moving mom out of the house, in-home care services might be an option. You might talk to the doctor about ordering in-home care for mom as a recommendation and have a person come to help out regardless of dad's refusal of assistance. Sometimes, the presence of another person in the house may trigger him to treat your mom better and see that he actually needed the help.

Feel free to call our 24-hour helpline to discuss further. Thank you for using the Alzheimer's Association Online Community and I wish you the best.

Sincerely,

Mini V.