Does anyone have a suggestion on how to get our Mom to the doctor for diagnosis/care/a physical? She became near violent when my brother (the primary caregiver) tried to take her to an appointment he had made for her for a physical. She has never been officially diagnosed because she refuses to go to a doctor, and she is physically healthy enough to not need a doctor's assistance.

Thanks for your help.

Garth

Dear Garth: Welcome to the message board. Many people face this same issue when noticing that a parent's memory is declining. It might be helpful for you and your brother to sit down with her and express your concern over her symptoms, urging her to visit a doctor. If that doesn’t work, it leaves you few options. Legally you can’t force her to go.

You may find it helpful to seek support for yourself through support groups and educational seminars. It will help prepare you for when your mother is ready to seek help as well as provide you support throughout the process of her possible dementia. Your Local Chapter will be able to provide you with the information on what is available in your area.

Let us know if you have any other questions.

My mother was very stubborn about not going to an evaluation.

You need health care power of attorney, if you don't you're SOL i think

Our social worker and our local Alz Assoc provided us with an option that has worked.

First you need to know who has a geriatric/psych unit and an emergency room. Your local chapter can help with this.

We first tried to get her to go the the emergency room with a family member, she refused. I then called the police/EMS and described the situation that my mother had alz and was threatening my father/ suicidal both were true.

The police clamed her down and got her to go in the ambulance to the ER. After a 8 hour wait she got a room in the Geriatric /psych unit.

They have been fabulous, very comprehensive very caring. She has made new friends there. We are moving her to assisted care from there.

Dear Garth:

This is a difficult situation in which to find oneself. I am so sorry.

I too face the very same problem with my mother. Having a Durable Power of Attorney does NOT give you the power to demand she see a physician. This is very frustrating for me as I have DPOA, and my mother has not seen her MD since last June, and she has multiple medical problems. This doubly makes my hair stand on end as I am an RN.

If your mother has lost all reason and is acting out in a harmful way or has totally "lost" it; then you can call law enforcement to request a 5150 placement at a GeroPsych Unit. If you choose to go this route, as other advice has said, call the watch commander or desk sergeant at the police station and fill them in on the details so your responding unit knows what's going on prior to their arrival.

With my mother, yesterday she became quite ill with a nasty upper respiratory infection and became very weak. She was feeling so bad, she actually consented to being taken to the ER by ambulance. Once there, they also found a severe urinary tract infection, and they were able to run other tests she had been needing. They then sent her to a nearby NH to the Skilled Care Unit to give IV antibiotics. Luckily, her attending MD is willing to see her there.

Hopefully, this will assist in Mom's being willing to accept MD visits in the future; but I'm not counting on it.

It is an extremely difficult situation no matter how you look at it. Without a 5150 set of dynamics, you just have to wait for something negative to happen before you can take action.

By the way, there are MD's who have businesses making housecalls. Many of them are ER MD's; they see homebound persons as well as hotel guests, etc. It is my understanding that Medicare covers this; but verify that as I have not done so.

If a physician came to the house, would she be willing to see him/her? Failing this, if any of the physician's offices or Home Health Agencies near you have a Registered Nurse Practitioner, perhaps you could pay privately for the RNP to make a home assessment visit.

NOTE: You may want to post your question on the Caregiver Forum portion of this site. The forum is where other caregivers write about their loved ones, and they do share their advice based upon their experience. You may find this helpful.

I hope things will begin moving in the right direction for you and your mother.

Let us know how this goes, I wish you well.

Hi Garth,

I find myself in the same position but what has happened to me is that I was able to get my mom to the doctor about 2 years ago. When she first went things were o.k., but after about the forth visit mom refused to go back. She was showing a lot of anger. The doctor said she had dementia and wanted mom to go for a CAT scan. Well I wanted to know too what type of dementia mom had. Well mom refused and I couldn't do anything. The doctor gave a prescription for aricept and namenda which mom took for a short while until she angerly refused. Was acting like she was taking the pills but started to flush them down the toilet. Two years have almost passed and mom has gotten worse. I called the doctor back and she had Hospice come. They put her on risperdal and then I was able to get her back on namenda. Things were going all right until the risperdal amount was increased and after mom went into like a zombie vegetable state I stopped giving her the drug.

Now I don't know what to do. How to get mom back to a doctor so she can get a complete assessment. Now mom isn't even on any meds and I fear she is getting worse. She doesn't want to get out of bed and gets angry anytime I try to ask her something. It worries me because she used to have a good appetite but now she doesn't want to eat or drink water. She is losing weight and I don't know what to do to get her to eat. You can try every tactic in the book and she just gets angry at anything I try. I don't know what to do or who to turn too for help. I worry about mom going on and off these meds and that doing so may be hurting her.

I understand your problem.

Dear Larry,

I am sorry to hear about all of the difficulty you're having with your mother. Though the situation you describe is quite common, it is very difficult. I am glad that you were able to get her to the doctor in the past in order to obatin the diagnosis of dementia. That is a significant step, even if it has not been possible to get her back in order to learn any more specifics about her dementia. Sometimes, even with a CAT scan, there still remain a lot of mysteries about dementia. It sounds like you are continuing with the most important thing - caring for your mother day to day.

My advice is that you remain in frequent contact with her doctor about changes you see in your mother. If you haven't already, I encourage you to let her doctor know that the risperdal seemed to have a significant impact on your mom. It is always best to consult with a doctor before making decisions about stopping, changing, or starting a medication as many medications require a certain amount of adjustment by the individual's body.

Also, if you haven't already, please call our 24-hour helpline 1-800-272-3900 to talk with someone in greater detail about yours and your mother's needs at this time. Here is some information that you may find helpful.Stages of Alzheimer's disease, Medications, Caregiver stress

Sincerely,

I have a similar situation, compounded by the fact that my mother's symptoms include paranoia, much of which is directed at doctors, and that my 82 year old dad, who is the primary caretaker for my 72 year old mom, is in denial as to what's happening to her and afraid of her temper outbursts. On Mother's Day, my sister and I tried to convince my mom to please make an appointment with an internist, just to oversee all her meds, and for someone to go to with the flu, etc. She will see specialists, only when she has a specific physical problem, so she has many prescriptions. We were hoping to speak to the internist ahead of time, and see if he could look over her meds, and maybe do some diagnostics on her for AD or VD. She became angry and accused us of ganging up on her. When my 26 yo niece offered to take her, she finally reluctantly agreed, but when my niece called to get some good dates to make the appointment, my dad asked her to drop it, because it was making my mom so angry. So the question is, do we try to deceive her into getting diagnosed? She keeps saying she wants to go to the Mayo Clinic to have all her various physical problems checked out. Maybe we should encourage that, and send them something in advance as to her mental condition? Or call her specialists and tell them we're concerned about medicine interactions and dementia and see if they'll look it over or refer her somewhere? I am very concerned that her dementia will end up crushing my dad, and then what?