This coming weekend my siblings and I will be moving Mom to an ALF for Alzheimer's patients. Mom does not know that she has this disease - the one time that the doctor tried to discuss it with her she went ballistic. She will not allow any of us (her children) to discuss it with her, either. But she has had symptoms for about 10 years and has really been going downhill for about the past two years. She has been living temporarily with each of us as caregivers but she needs a permanent home with appropriate care and stimulation for someone with AD. She has significant anger issues and directs it mostly at my BIL (she is currently living with my sister and BIL). How do we move her in when she knows nothing about why, where, etc? How do we minimize the negative effects of the transition? At first the ALF said that we would probably not want to visit for about two weeks to give her time to adjust. Now they are asking that one of us stay with her the first few days/nights to help her transition. I know that she is going to be frightened and unhappy at first. Any suggestions on how best to prepare her for this and ease her into this new life? I want her to have some quality of life while she still has the ability to enjoy it. Her memory is so very bad these days.....

My moms memory was so bad that even though we told her in advance she did not remember it. We did have medication to calm her on the day of the move, and thereafter (ativan as needed, and respiradol daily) We took as much of her valued possessions as we could fit into the ALF and had it in place before she arrived, and while we started with the truth we immediately went to a more acceptable fiblets -- the house needs to be fixed up and you will go home as soon as it is ready. It still took months for her to stop backing everyday, and she will still tell me "I don't want to stay here". Unfortunately she wants to go home to her parents. Moving was very hard, but she is safe now, and less unhappy then she was alone in her own house.

I am praying that Mom will adjust and will make some friends. My sister leaves her alone all day while she is at work and that scares me to death. Mom is still in good physical condition but her memory is really failing. She is on Aricept and Namenda. We also give her Ativan for her mood swings. The rage she displays is pure evil.

LML,

Moving is a stressful and hard decision for anyone to make. Alzheimer’s disease complicates a process that is already acknowledged as one of life’s most challenging events. The person with Alzheimer’s may experience a profound sense of loss when having to move out of his or her home. The unfamiliarity of the new environment may make the person with Alzheimer’s more confused.Once your mother has moved,allow time for your her to adjust to the new surroundings. If your mother becomes aggressive or is under emotional distress at the residential home, some facilities will ask family members to not visit until the person with Alzheimer’s gets acclimated. Increased assistance and patience is crucial for a person with Alzheimer’s. Ask the staff if they can spend extra time with your mother to help her adjust to the new environment. In addition, ask the staff to engage your mother in activities to help reduce the anxiety about living in a new home. Label the main rooms—such as the bathroom and bedroom with large-print, brightly colored signs to help your mother become oriented to the new layout. Stress the positive aspects of the facility and tell your mother that you are glad she’s doing well. Whenever possible, place less emphasis on your mother’s mental state and safety issues.

You are a wonderful daughter taking the responsibility to ensure that your mother is in a safe environment and that her care needs are met. Contact your local chapter for a support group near your area. If you have any questions, please contact us again or call our 24hour helpline at 1-800-272-3900.

Sincerely,