MY husband,62, has eoad 8 yrs now. I work full time and have a caregiver for him during the day. We have gone to eldercare lawyer early on and got the house in my name and he has no assets at this time. He has longterm care ins,social security disability, retirement totaling 2,500 monthly. He is starting to not know when he has to go to the bathroom so just goes in there every 10 minutes,knows me or family 5% of the time. He still has appropriate adl skills,he can not be left alone, but I know I am close to having to think of placing him somewhere. I can not afford to lose my job because I have heart issues and I can't lose the ins. All I do know is that I can not afford to come out of pocket for his care in a alz unit. I would love some feed back on this . Barb

Dear Barb,

As you well know, managing the financial and legal concerns that arise when a loved one develops dementia can be a tremendous challenge. It is particularly difficult when the person is younger than age 65. It can be costly, especially when the care needs reach the 24/7 level.

Fortunately, he has some concrete resources, and he has you to help navigate the existing systems. My suggestion is to get some help through the local chapter to find out what options are available to the two of you. The local chapter can help locate a social worker familiar with dementia care who can conduct a needs assessment and plan for his present and future needs. Your attorney may also be of some help in this regard. Options range widely, depending on your area. These include care facilities, specialized group homes, memory care units, and intensive in-home services.

Barb, I can imagine the toll this has taken on you. These decisions are never easy, but whatever choices you make in the coming days and months, I hope that you will make your life and your health top priority. You have others who love you and need you. Your self-care has to come first now, even if it means that your other concerns are tended to imperfectly.

Please rely on our helpline as much as you need to. We are here for you. Call us at 1-800-272-3900 and ask to speak to a Care Consultant. We can get you connected to the local chapter to help get these services in place. We can also offer you emotional support and guidance on an ongoing basis. Local chapters have support groups and training opportunities available as well.

You are coping with one of the greatest challenges in life that a human being can face. Allow us to assist you in any way we can. We look forward to your call.

Sincerely,
Kathleen

Thank you so much for the information,we are in KANSAS CITY. I have a call now into our rep. for the Standard company ,which the longterm care ins is thru, now to get information from them about what our policy covers. Cross your fingers cuz dh was in charge of this way back when life was good. IT IS GREAT KNOWING I AM NOW ALONE. BARB