I am at a loss as to what to do to stop my crazy sister from sabotaging me and causing trouble. I brought my mom to live with me and my family in New Hampshire last July. She has mid stage AD. She is not able to be left alone for any length of time. I struggled with what to do with her house in Virginia. This is my mom's only asset and the proceeds from the sale of it will be used for her care. We plan to keep my mom home with us for as long as humanly possible. My sister has a very unhealthy and obsessive attachment to my mom. She was extremely emotionally dependent on her. She did nothing for mom in Virginia even though she only lived 10 minutes away. Now she is trying everything to get mom back. I went down to Virginia to check on the house and decide what to do with it. We were fortunate that a family friend needed a place to stay and so lived in the house so that it would not be vacant. He, however,did no upkeep. My mom's yard, which had always been so beautiful and well kept was overgrown and choked with weeds. The house had not been cleaned since I brought mom to New Hampshire. It had gotten severely cluttered over the past few years. My mom always kept is as clean and well kept as a doll's house before she developed AD. I decided that the house needed to be sold. It was beginning to deteriorate and there is no way that I can keep up with it from 650 miles away. My nephew and his wife were kind enough to take on the job of cleaning it out, doing needed repairs and selling the furniture. My sister went ballistic and called the police. She told them that mom's house was being robbed. She also told them that mom wanted to come home and that I was selling the house without mom's permission. I have DPOA. I am going to fax a copy to the police. My sister had also called the police in the town where we live and reported that we are holding my mom against her will. She did this 3 times. The police here have ny sister pegged as a looney. They came out and found that mom was doing just fine and being well cared for. It is evident when you talk to mom that she has dementia. I am just concerned about what else my sister will do. I have been told that she is going to see a lawyer. She is desperate to get mom back. Mom cannot handle her and in my opinion my sister was emotionally exploiting my mom. Is there anything that I can do to stop her from interfering in this way? She is making an already difficult situation much worse. I asked the police about obtaining a restraining order against her. They said that it would be difficult to enforce out of state. Is it possible to get an order of protection of some sort? I'm not exactly sure of my sister's mental diagnosis. If I had to guess I would say schizophrenia with borderline personality. She has been forcibly committed on three different occasions by my mom(before the AD). I would go for guardianship, I even went so far as to obtain the paperwork, but it seems like it is extremely difficult to get and I cannot afford hefty attorney's fees. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Maplesyrp,

I am sorry to hear of your difficult situation. You stated that you had brought your mother to live with you and your family and now your sister is attempting to sabotage those efforts by reporting your nephew and his wife to the police in Virgina, for "robbing your mother's house", and reporting you and your family to the police in New Hampshire for holding your mother against her will.

You said you have DPOA and asked if it was possible to get an order of protection of some sort against your mentally ill sister. Because I'm not an attorney and laws vary somewhat from state to state I would suggest that you contact an attorney regarding this. Unfortunately, you may need to speak with attorneys in both Virginia and New Hampshire to know what your legal rights are in this situation. Referrals for elder law attorneys in New Hampshire and Virginia can be provided by contacting the local chapters though the "Find us Anywhere" link on our website.

If you would like to discuss this matter with one of our Care Consultants you can contact us on our 24-hour helpline at: 800-272-3900.

Thanks for using the Alzheimer's Association Online Community.

Best wishes,

Charlie