My 75 year old mother-in-law has been having memory problems. At her last apt. the Dr. said she has the beginnings of Alzheimers. My Mother-in-laws father died from it and she knows what it is. She was FURIOUS with the Dr. and refused to EVER go to the Dr. again. Well as weeks past she finally went, and was found to have a thyroid problem. She was treated for that and it has not helped her memory problems.

At her last apt we spoke to the Dr. ahead of time and had it all worked out that she would start the process of her Alzheimers testing and memory problems. We want her to get started on Alzheimer meds. When we finally go her to the Dr.... the Dr. looked at us and said... So what are you here for today?? We could have died.. it took us months to get her back there... and the Dr. was not with it. SO she looked at her file and said I see you have memory problems and my Mother-in-law for the first time said yes I do... and the Dr. said... DO YOU WANT TO BE PUT ON MEDICATION FOR ALZHEIMERS?? and she said NO! and freeked out. The Dr. said ok... and that was it. No testing... no NOTHING!!! We left... I gave the Dr. a LOOK of disapointment in her... and we left.

Now we have tried to get her back in, and she refuses.. she is mean and baligerant.. and that is just not her at all.. she would not hurt a flea...

We talked to the Dr.. and they refuse to put her on any meds. NOTHING... they said we should just go to the health dept. and get some counceling.... PLEASE... My mother died of Alzheimers and we were treated with care and honor.... this was terrible.

My question is... what do we do to get her on medication? We are at wits end. We can't get her to the Dr. now... and we are very frustrated. If we try and talk to her and say we think you have Alzheimers and need to be put on meds... it will be the last conversation we will probably have with her.

What do we do?

Thank you for any help.

Oh Ellen, what a very frustrating and upsetting situation this must have been for you and your family. As you may very well know it can be so difficult to provide the necessary care for someone with cognitive changes, as there are many obstacles.

I would first like to address your mother in law’s reaction to the recent doctor’s visit and her possible Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis. Depending on her cognitive changes and awareness to such changes, she may be reacting emotionally to the losses she is experiencing. I recommend trying to validate any angry, sad, or upset feelings she may hold as she is now dealing with personal changes. You may want to say,” Mom, we know you are so angry about the doctor and memory changes. We are here to support you and we love you.” You may also want to let her know you too are scared and upset, and that you would like her to be well cared for.

If your mother in law is not aware of her changes and does not talk about any memory loss, it may help if you and your family try some creative tactics to help get your mom a diagnosis and treatment. Please consider speaking with a dementia specific doctor and set up an appointment. Although, her primary doctor may still be able to treat other medical issues, a specialist would be most advisable in this situation. Please call 800.272.3900 and request a listing of local dementia specialist in your area. It will be very important that this next visit does the trick. When making the appointment inform the staff that she has been resistant in the past and any testing and treatment options may need to be done in one visit.

Some creative thoughts to help encourage your mom to the doctor may include telling her the old doctor made a mistake and she will be going for the real appointment at a specialist center. If she talks about her memory loss, for example if when she forgets something and she says, “Oh, I am always forgetful,” jump on those comments with encouraging and supportive words. “Mom, let’s go together and get that memory checked out. We have a great specialist who can help. We will be there with you throughout this whole process.”

Some families, who have loved ones with cognitive changes who will not go to the doctor, have told other types of therapeutic fibs to help motivate them. Some have told their loved one that the insurance company needs an evaluation for the records and a doctor’s visit is mandatory. Others tell their loved one the doctor called requesting a mandatory visit. Keep in mind because this is a very tough situation, it often takes creativity to encourage doctor’s visits. Reasoning and explaining why such a visit is necessary may not be sufficient.

Ellen, this situation must feel so frustrating, and you may feel as though you are out of options, but there are resources here to support you. I hope you call us at 800.272.3900. We are here 24/7 to help give more advice and support as well as a local dementia specialist listing. Our counselors can offer you more suggestions to help your mother in law receive treatment and an evaluation. Please call us!

Take Care,

Hi Ellen,

Does your Mom have a good GP? My Mom's
GP gave her meds for "dementia" -- never called it Alzheimer's. You don't have to go to a Neurologist to get the meds, and her GP can order an MRI to help rule out other reasons for Dementia -- It's not always Alzheimers, and it does need to be confirmed that it's not something else. There have been studies in the last year that show that a PET scan may be able to help detect AD (Alzheimer's Disease), so ask a GP about that too.

If it is AD, please check out the Medications and treatments forum where people discuss different alternatives to the approved medications. My Mom is on the Enbrel treatment, the thread is called Enbrel for Alzheimers. This treatment is very expensive, and there aren't many doctors out there doing it, but it is real and it has basically halted the disease...still up and down days, but she's still better (cognitively in mood and communication ability) than she was before we started the treatment last March 2008. I of course recommend it highly, but it's not approved and there hasn't been a double-blind clinical trial so most doctors won't even look into it or don't know anything about it.

Just know, that there is some hope...the hopelessness I felt when they finally diagnosed Mom with AD was relentless and unbearable.

Felicia

Thank you for all the wonderful advise. I will use the phone number and call and see what we can do. The problem is her father also had Alzheimers and she KNOWS what he was like and is in denile that it is happening to her. I know what the difference between dementia and Alzheimers is. My Mom died of Alzheimers and my Grandma had dementia. This is definitley AD. The Dr. said it is also.

It is just unreal to me that after 10 years since I dealt with this with my mom that now dealing with it with my Mother-in-law that it is HARDER to get someone help. Maybe it is just this Dr. I am planning to get her to a different DR. See if we can get her there. It will be very hard as she is very very bull headed at this point... and my father-in-law is having a very hard time dealing with her, and still we can't get her help.

I would like more info on new drugs and available treatments... I know she is in her early stages and THIS is the time to get going on this horrible disease. I wish it was not so difficult.... we will keep searching.

thanks so much for your help!!!

Ellen, the Alzheimer's Association boards have many points of view, and no warning labels. Felicia is infamous for her campaigning for a dermatologist's marketing of Enbrel, an arthritis medication, for Alzheimer's. And that's fine, she isn't breaking any laws. But, the company that manufactures Enbrel has itself denounced using Enbrel for that. It's a long, complicated argument that's ongoing, and I hope you'll focus on legitimate medications, not off-label use by a doc that's got a history of quackery.

Drugs that are not FDA approved for use with AD or dementia in older patients are prescribed off label all the time by psychiatrists and general practioners, not just Dr. T, even though the companies clearly state they should not be used for that purpose. My husband, at one time or another, has been on abilify, risperdal, haldol, neurontin, and depakote, all of which were being used off label.

I am not campaigning, I am telling someone about something that has worked for my Mom. I also advised her to go see another doctor, am I campaigning for her GP too? I also advised her to get an MRI and testing done...am I campaigning for Tests?

To see what people have written and talked about, you can click on their names at the left of their posts, and you can see a list of what they have written. That is a good way to get to know the people around here and figure out who everybody is and where they are coming from.

I have had to explain myself many times...yes I'm excited about Enbrel and I sound like a little girl in a Candy store with a Hundred dollar bill! I can't help it! I do not work for Dr. Tobinick or any of his affiliates, I do not get any monetary gains for Advocating this treatment, I'm just sharing the good news about my Mom.

Ellen, I am a caregiver who loves her Mom dearly and has been on this Message Board for a year. I am dealing with all the things every other caregiver is dealing with. You will find many different opinions and theories on this message board. It's nice to know there are people out there not ready to just give up...we may actually be right and actually save somebody we love. Doctors are just people too, I'm not putting them down, they just don't know everything...they can't.

Alan says there are no warning labels here, he is absolutely right. Alan has been invaluable in sharing his opinion from an AD victims point of view and it helps us understand what our Loved Ones might be going through. He is at an early stage of the disease so he can give us some great insight...but it doesn't mean his way is right for everyone. We are all different and we all handle this disease the best way we can.

Felicia

Hi Ellen,

Since your asked about other drugs, the Dimebon Clinical Trials look very promising, but the drug isn't available yet. Hopefully the FDA will do a fast-track approval if it proves effective and safe. Even with that, it is probably still a year away. Since your MIL is in an early stage, you have hope for this drug which is different than the drugs that attack the plaques, and has had a good safety record.

Enbrel uses the same theory and had even better results in the small trial that was done. It lowers TNF Levels (Tumor Necrosis Factor) ...and it's an approved drug for Rheumatoid Arthritis...not experimental...just expensive since using it for AD is considered Off-label so insurance companies usually won't pay for this treatment.

Felicia

Dear Felicia, first, I wish I had you as a sister. Your tireless work towards something you believe in is rare in this world.

Second, please don't feel personally attacked. My anger is at quacks that exploit a vulnerable population.

I promise to work harder on disagreeing, without being disagreeable.

Hi Alan,

I do have a sister, in fact I have three sisters...but being the "baby" I guess I learned to be the most tenacious. It probably started when I hit my pre-teens and had to fight 3 teenagers for the bathroom mirror or the telephone! Four daughters, my poor Dad!

I'm sorry about taking this personal, I truly know you are also trying to help...and you have really helped many with your openness about how this disease affects you. I will try not to take things so personal.

Thanks Alan!

Felicia

Four daughters??? Good grief . . . let's all bow our heads for a moment, in tribute to your father!

We had two boys, who've turned out great in spite of my attempts at parenting. I asked my wife after they were out of the house, if she'd be interested in adopting a Chinese orphan girl. She smiled sweetly, and said she was sure that I and my next wife would be happy with the adoption . . .

Thanks for the laugh! You've made my day start out great!

Felicia