i posted this on another forum but
perhaps it's better suited here.
i'm planning to take my mom whos
at stage 4-5 on a few days vacation
at a nearby beach after labor day.

it's a smaller beach resort and i
figure that after labor day, there
will be less people.

there's a caregiver at mom's facility
who'll be retiring in august. she has
20+ years. her husband also works at
the facility. she's 62, he's a bit
younger. i want to hire them to help
me w/mom. he as a driver and her as
a caregiver. i want someone i know and
trust and that she recognizes.

any ideas or suggestions would be
appreciated. or not a good idea?
some posters felt that this wouldnt
be a good idea.

the days would be short drives, laying
on the beach or by the pool or some
sightseeing and a boat ride. evenings
just relaxing for me and mom, the couple's
on their own. i have your factsheet about
vacations so please dont refer me to that.

Dear Sheldi,

The decision as to whether or not a person with Alzheimer’s disease should travel is difficult to make. Often disruption in the daily life of a person with Alzheimer’s disease can lead to increased confusion, and sometimes agitation. The trip sounds very pleasant and very relaxing, however your Mom may not be aware of this. What may have been a relaxing trip before the disease, could now possibly lead to more confusion and disorientation. Here are some suggestions of questions to ask yourself while making the decision; does your Mom like car rides? Is she able to understand that she is going on vacation, or what vacation is? Can you make the trip as close to her daily routine as possible? How does she react to new/different environments or situations? Many caregivers find that during the trip or change in environment their loved one shows signs of rapid decline. There is usually a presentation of new behaviors and an increased risk for wandering. Frequently, persons with Alzheimer’s disease in the mid to late stages will become disoriented on the trip, and this will continue when they return home. This could be due to the change in environment and daily routine. Consider not only your Mom’s reaction to the trip but also her adjustment when you return home.

Sometimes it is also helpful to better understand the reason behind the desire for the vacation. Often times caregivers attempt to go on vacation, or do activities with their loved one, that were common in the past, only to discover that their loved one’s reaction to the trip was not what they were hoping for. But each decision should be made on a case by case basis.

Another item to keep in mind is the time between now and when you plan to take the trip. As you may already know, changes in people with Alzheimer’s disease occur suddenly and without warning. Your plans may need to adjust depending on your Mom’s condition closer to the time of the vacation.

Taking local, day trips could be an alternative to going on vacation that you may want to consider. These trips could provide a pleasant activity but still guarantee stability and routine. Trips to the zoo, botanical gardens, or spa could be done locally and perhaps defer the agitation and increased confusion that often comes with longer trips. Sometimes caregivers use these sorts of day activities to “test” their loved ones reactions to different environments before making the decision to go on a longer trip.

It is clear that you are trying your best to provide the greatest care possible for your Mom. There are many things to consider, but like in other situations it is impossible to know exactly what will happen. If you would like to discuss this topic in further detail, please feel free to contact our 24 hour helpline and speak directly with one of our Care Consultants at 800.272.3900.

I hope you will continue to find support and resources from the Alzheimer’s Association Online Community.

Sincerely,

Jaimie E.

Alzheimer’s Association
Care Consultant

thank you, jaimie

other posters have suggested the
same. i hadnt considered agitation
or more confusion. i figured that
since she was with people she knows
it would be ok.

also, you gave me something to think
about regarding the reason behind the
vacation. initiallly, i thought that
it would be like it was before the
disease. or a change of scenery from
the nursing home. or perhaps it's
my need for a vacation and i'm feeling
guilty for wanting one and giving myself
permission to go and leaving her behind. or maybe i REALLY havent come to terms with her disease so i keep trying to make things like they used to be.

just wanted to update on the vacation.

we did go. it was wonderful but a lot of
work. mom enjoyed it. she smiled and
laughed so much those days. she went to
the beach, walked BETTER in the sand than
on dry land and said "whoooo" when the waves
lapped at her feet.

some agitation occurred on the ride back
but my biggest concern was whether or not
she would be sad when returning to the home
like she was being placed all over again.

but apart from looking around in the lobby,
she was ok. she was tired from the ride.
also, the staff said they missed her, etc...
and she enjoyed that.

the hard work was:
1. she rode in a mini van so the caregivers
and i had to lift her onto the seat. i had
a circular disc that spun around that allowed
us to lift her legs and turn her so we could
get her out easily. it was EASIER getting her
out than in!
2.low toilet seats and high tub edge. in both
situations, she needed help in getting up or
getting in. we struggled so in getting her
in the tub that on the last day, she was bathed
OUTSIDE the tub. water/towels everywhere but
she got a shower! NEXT time, if there is one,
i'm taking a commode-a higher seat.
3.mom has difficulty walking sometimes and
when she wants to sit, she just sits
whether there's something to sit on or not,
i rented a wheelchair which kept her safe
but allowed her to see everything. so she
walked 50% and rode 50%.
4.trying to keep to same routines, especially
meals. she slept in and had meals OUTSIDE her
normal times.
5.toileting. i took wipes,briefs, pullups and
gloves and bed protectors. the caregiver and
i were successful in keeping her dry and i LEARNED some tricks of the trade.

all in all, would i do it again. yes ,
long as i had the support i did. the couple
was wonderful. he was as much of a caregiver
as his wife. the peace of mind i had was
worth it. i dont know if she'll be able to
respond next year but hopefully the memories
will be a comfort for her. i know short term
memory doesnt last but she chuckled at nothing
in particular since we've gone and i BELIEVE
that she's remembering.
hotel $$$ minivan $$$$ peace of mind, priceless

Dear Sheldi,

It is so great to hear your vacation went well. Sounds like you and your mom really enjoyed the beach. You seemed very well prepared for the trip and I am so happy for you and your mom.

Keep in touch!