Hello everyone. My name is Karen. I recently quit my job to care for my 90 yr. old father who is in the later stages of Alzheimers. Everything he does is so annoying. He seems to love to annoy my mother and I to the point where we get very angry and frustrated. I told my mother that I think he does it on purpose just to pick a fight. She says no. I truly do feel I'm going crazy. We tried home health for awhile, but Dad got very angry with the nurse and basically told her where to go. How do others in my situation deal with this? I remember Dad being a great father to my sisters and I(I'm the youngest). My sisters live out of state. I run myself ragged doing grocery shopping and running errands for Mom. I really prefer online support rather than going to a local support group. I'm sorry to say this is really affecting my relationship with Dad. I feel I should be there for Mom, but every time I go to their house Dad seems to be in a bad mood. I try my best to be nice, but he seems to go out of his way to annoy me. Is this nomal at this stage? I talked to our family doctor about this and he asked if we've thought about a nursing home. He can still feed and dress himself, but fights us with anything else. It's his way or the highway and he lets Mom and I know it! Also, he refuses to shower. Again, I told Mom maybe we could get a home health nurse to help him, but he has a very bad temper. I know if a nurse came to the house, he would have a fit. Please share your ideas. Thank You.

Dear Ksage: Yes, all his behaviors are from the disease. At first it is so hard to deal with, and help and advice can be had in this website. But you need to go to the "CAREGIVER FORUM" section of the message board. You will get many responses, literally, on a daily basis. I don't even know if you're still logging on. I hope you get this message.

Dear Ksage,
I totally understand your frustration. We recently brought my mother-in-law home with us. We had her in a nursing home, but due to finances and some problems we decided to bring her home with us. EVERYTHING she did upset us tremendously. She has swatted at us, cursed us, yelled...the whole gamut of anger. You have to tell yourself that this is a disease you are fighting, not your loved one. Your loved one's spirit has gone and you are just maintaining their body, till it gets the message. With much prayer, I had come to my limits recently. We had a rainstorm that night, and God provided a rainbow in our backyard - we saw it from end to end. I feel that was a sign that we are not alone. Since that evening, my mother-in-law has done a complete turn around and is only up one hour of the day. Be sure and take care of yourself. Allot yourself some time to take a walk outdoors, read a magazine outside, do some form of exercise. There are millions of us out there and we need to encourage each other. I will pray for you!