My 83 years old father-in-law has stage 5 Alzheimer's. He lives alone and in another town from us. His girlfriend of 10 years is on the verge of giving up on trying to care for him. He refuses to go to an assisted living home or have assisted care come into his house daily. We go visit often and do what needs to be done but he is stubborn and refuses to help himself. He won't take his medicine, bath, exercise, etc. How do you convince someone like him that it's time to move where he can get help on a daily basis? He doesn't trust anyone anymore and short of having him declared incompetent we don't know where to turn. His girlfriend helps some but she can't do this much longer as she is 83. We have told her to just start staying away and refusing his phone calls. And if he figures out he needs help then he might agree to assisted care. I appreciate any insight anyone can give me.
Dawna

Hi ARedhead,
I just went through the same thing. My dad was a military man all his life and it was always his way or the highway. He got a UTI and was placed in the hospital and from there his dr. wrote orders for him to go to assisted living. They transported him from there. He had no choice. Could his girlfriend make him an appt. for "a physical" or "blood tests" or something with his dr.? She could make an appt. for herself and speak with the dr. ahead of time. Then he could be placed. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but it had to be done for his well being and safety. If that happens, it won't be anyones "fault".
Dad still asks to go home but after a month, he's starting to enjoy his place. It's "wonderful" and the staff is outstanding. The place is small, very homey and the even have a dog called Buddy.
Make sure you do the research and meet with the staff.
When it gets to the point where the person with alzheimer's is no longer able to have a good quality of life, it's time. Also, his girlfriend is burned out and needs to have a life as well.
Best of luck to you. Keep us posted.
Lovemypapa