Mom has been in an ALF for about 18 months. She is lucid and ambulatory and can dress and feed herself.
While she had problems with stool incontinence prior to entering the ALF, the episodes are becoming increasingly frequent. She had an episode in my car last week and never even blinked - did not ask to be taken to the bathroom, no apology, nothing.
I spoke with the ALF staff today and they reported that she refuses to wear Depends. Her underwear has been taken away and she just wears her slacks. Yuk. They are thinking about putting linoleum in her room and she ruined a chair. She almost appears to be getting perverse pleasure in putting the staff in the position of having to clean up after her.
They suggested threatening to take her TV out of her room (she loves her TV) until she complies. I am not sure about that. She is very stubborn.
Am sure I am not the first to encounter this problem and am looking for suggestions.
Nasus, you may want to post this on the Caregivers forum as well, where it will get instant replies, I am sure.
If the caregivers there think threatening removal of privileges will fix the problem, she's in the wrong place. She isn't being this way on purpose. Her brain can no longer process the signal that she needs to urinate or figure out how to do that in an acceptable manner. Some people are able to handle this by putting regular panties over the Depends. There are just so many things wrong with this situation my mind boggles.
Carolina Songbird "Grant that what we sing with our lips, we may believe in our hearts, and what we believe in our hearts, we may show forth in our lives."
Posts: 1432 | Location?: Carolinas | Registered: August 30, 2008
Carolina Songbird response was really right. Our LOs do not want to be dirty even if they are stubborn. One important point that I have learned and you are learning, the basic nature of the person continues and you have a stubborn one. Punishment is wrong and will not result in an improvement. This is not a place that understands this disease no matter what they tell you. I also suggest that you take a look at the various brands of "diapers" (never use this word - they are "underwear")as the fit varies. She may dislike the "baggy-butt" that some have. Take a look at the Teva brand and get the right size - her dignity is important.
quote:
Originally posted by Carolina Songbird: Nasus, you may want to post this on the Caregivers forum as well, where it will get instant replies, I am sure.
If the caregivers there think threatening removal of privileges will fix the problem, she's in the wrong place. She isn't being this way on purpose. Her brain can no longer process the signal that she needs to urinate or figure out how to do that in an acceptable manner. Some people are able to handle this by putting regular panties over the Depends. There are just so many things wrong with this situation my mind boggles.
I think depends or Assurance from WalMart are the best thing to cross the pike,but that's how i feel.I'd rather wear them if need be & did for 10 yrs.just so I didn't have to be housebound..........
