hi to all,

my newly diagnosed mom has refused to accept she is ill. in fact to prove she is just fine she has cut my sister and i out of her life to prove she can do it all on her own. she won't go to the doctor either. i was wondering if there is any information about ad that would help her to deal with this tramatic news? should i just leave her alone? that feels awful to me. do you think she may not realize she is ill?

any info is greatly appriciated!! i love her and i want to be here for her.

Hi my name is Laura and I have ad.Im not sure about your mom but I can tell you from my point of veiw it might help her if you all could learn how to communcate better with her. Remember, she cant learn anything new. My fam kept wanting me to change the way I said things and I couldnt.not sure if this is much help.maybe she is very frustrated that no one undrstands what she is trying to say and you all think she is in denial, but she cant eapress herslf. If this is the case, be patient with her, give her time to think of the right words. dont rush her or try to tell her what she is trying to say! hope this helps

Dear MilsopT,
I'm sorry to hear of your Mom's new diagnosis. Have you called your local Alzheimer's Assn yet? Please do so. They can help you with a lot of this.
Personally, I would NOT leave your Mom alone. AD sometimes makes people irrational and unsafe. I think you and your sister need to call her doctor to let him/her know what's going on with your Mom. Yes, she will be angry. But she's angry anyway, so you just need to deal with that. Your Mom can get in serious trouble. Others could take advantage of her. Your job is to keep her safe even from herself!
If you need immediate help, please call the AD Helpline @ 800-272-3900. There are professionals there 24/7 to assist you.

Good Luck with your Mom. Please, come back to the AD message boards and let us know how everything goes.

T, on the other hand, one could argue that your mom is being pretty normal. No one wants a diagnosis like AD, and it's perfectly understandable to deny it could be true. I think about a month is alright for freaking out. Some can do it in as little as a weekend.

This is contingent on your mom being physically able to process the information. About half of dementia patients are biologically incapable of accepting their diagnosis.

You know your mom best, of course. But maybe you can stay in light touch with her? Y'know, silly cards, goofy emails, take her a watermelon maybe. Well, I love watermelon.

Good ideas from all. I think a lot depends on how far along mom is in the disease. What can she do by herself? What aspect of her daily living obligations, if any, can't she do?
From there you can make decisions on the next step. I hope the doctor treats the family's concern with thanks. As the mother heads down that long, final path, the doctor will depend on cooperation with the family. And as mom heads down that long path, she will need all the love and support of her family.

Hi, MilsopT. You are right -- your mom probably has no idea that she is ill. This is a problem that is very common in AD patients. Very early in the disease, they develop a symptom called "anosognosia", which is a lack of self-awareness. They are genuinely unaware of their problems! And because they don't realize they have problems, they see no reason to do anything about them, such as seeing a doctor or taking meds or letting loved ones help them. See:

http://alzheimers.boomja.com/A...osognosia-32271.html

Trying to educate your mom won't work. My husband has anosognosia, in spades. When he was first diagnosed, he read up on AD. We participate in studies at an AD research center. He knows I come here daily. He's stage 5/6.

And he still thinks he's fine.

Fortunately, he trusts me enough to do whatever I ask of him, even though he doesn't think any of it is necessary. That makes my situation a lot easier than yours.

But many caregivers here have faced exactly the same situation you face. You will need a lot of help finding ways to deal with your mom. She needs you, even though she doesn't realize it. Have you posted this same question on the Caregiver forum? I think a lot more people will see it there.

Would she listen to a doctor? Find out who she trusts, ask him or her to assist you.

This is tough, I had to trick my mother into going to the doctor, needless to say it did not go well and she did not get the early treatment she should have gotten for Alzheimer's disease.

Know that you are doing what's best for your mother, no matter how difficult the situation becomes.