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<Ducky's Daughter>
Posted
Step-dad (SD) and Mom (M) are 93 & 91 respectively. SD broke hip and since he needed rehab we used that as an excuse to get M in home as well. They share the same room, eat all meals together and attend all activities. It is now 11 months later and at about the 7-8 month mark, in a group meeting, we agreed that going home was not in their best interest re: safety, etc. Obviously proud people, SD at Battle of Bulge, both living through The Depression, grossly independent. M takes no medications, is very healthy from the neck down, neck up: macular degenation, almost blind; hearing loss; dementia. SD was caregiver at home is now in a wheelchair and dementia increasing. My issue: every day M wants to go home. If we tell her she will not go home, she gets angry, "if we are keeping her there she will hate us forever," etc. SD is more lucid but inside he knows that going home is not the best thing. My skin needs to thicken but it is very difficult since Mom looks the same, sounds the same, has a great sense of humor. Of course, in a 20 minute conversation everything can be repeated 10 times. It's hard.
 
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