We are considering a move to another state to assist my father with his caregiving duties. Has anyone else made this choice?

Supermom- Good for you thinking about a caregiver needing help. I am one of two siblings, but unfortunately the only one taking care of my AD parents my brother lives across the country. We have moved us and my parents several times getting us closer to each other with each move, but we have always lived in the same county. We are now getting ready to move in with them as we are at that stage of the disease that they require more care. Anyway I digress, to answer your question. I would love for my brother to move and be able to help with care, but only if he could really help and be able to deal with the situation. We have had "help" in the past that ended up being more work for me as they could not handle it and I ended up having to "take care" of the help by consantly explaining and comforting them when feelings got hurt or they were so upset watching the decline. These things turn out to make things even more difficult. My suggestion would be if you haven't already done so. Go visit for an extended period to make sure this is something that you are able to do. Also there are ways that you can help from long distance such as in our case my brother will be handling finances since in this day and age of internet this can be handled from anywhere. Also he is my sounding board after a bad day I can call and yell scream and cry with no fear of judgement. I don't know if this is helpful, but good luck and my prayers are with you in this difficult decision.

Actually, my brother lives about an hour and a half from my parents, but still has 6 children at home. Mine are grown. It is looking more and more as if I will be the one who assists Dad with my mom. I have done much research and have spent a week at a time with my parents several times over the last year. So I know a little of what I am in for.
My husband is losing his job in November so we are getting our house ready to put on the market and looking for a job closer to my parents. This will be a huge change for us but we are tired of the hustle and bustle of a big city and congested traffic everywhere we turn. Thanks for the response, sometimes we wonder if this is the right move but do not want to realize later that we missed out on times with my mom that could have been enjoyed before this disease takes more of her from us.

quote:

Originally posted by supermomdlt:
We are considering a move to another state to assist my father with his caregiving duties. Has anyone else made this choice?

Hello Supermomdlt, my name is Tom and I want to WELCOME you to this board that is designed for people like you and I! I’m sorry to hear about your problems. It is very important to keep a positive attitude!

My story,
I’m not a professional in this area. I’m a person with AD that serves as a volunteer on the message board. In June of 2008 (age 58) I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s related dementia. I began visiting this message board in August 2008 and the people have become important to me. I’m sure that you will find a number of supporters here for you.

I will attach a link to a site that will lead you to your local Alzheimer’s Association
Chapter. Those people will be able to assist you with local resources and thoughts to improve your life:

http://www.alz.org/apps/findus.asp

Please call the 24/7 Helpline at
1-800-272-3900 if you have any pressing issues!

The Alzheimer’s library
http://alzheimers.boomja.com/C...rst-Steps-61311.html

For Incontinence
http://bigtreemurphy.com/Incont.Home.htm

http://www.buckandbuck.com/

http://www.alzstore.com/


For Elder Care:
http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare/Public/Home.asp

http://www.eldercarelink.com/p...KMvJgCFQHHGgodEUfpag

You might find more support in the "Cargivers" forum I hope this information helps you to resolve your issues. Best of luck to you. Please come on back to visit us soon!

Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can

Supermom- Sounds like you have thought it through and making a good decision. That is exactly how I get through each day knowing these are memories that no disease can take from me. I try to enjoy every minute with my parents good and bad. Good luck to you and hang in there.

Hi Supermom,

I am new to this forum and I am glad for your question. I am the oldest sibling of two and I live across the country from my Alzheimer's parent. My younger brother is the primary caregiver. The frustration is that he complains of how hard things are and so me, my aunt (my mom's sister) and a dear friend all help - but he refuses to follow through. He wants to run away. I don't blame him for feeling the way that he does. However, there are outstanding issues, such as legal, that must be faced. What's even worse: I haven't been kept fully "in the loop."

I am currently unemployed and adore being with my kids before they go to school. However, I am considering that is the time I need to move and do those things that my brother refuses to do - or deal with the stuff that he won't deal with. I am in pain and anguish over this decision as I don't wish to leave my kids behind. Any feedback will be much appreciated.

Deana & PennyG,
Welcome to this site! Sorry about what brings you to us but Welcome anyway. Please review some of the sites I sent to Supermom.