I have a client who has become extremely violent every time I try to get her into the shower. She hits and kicks at me, the other day she ran around her room & bathroom saying, over and over, "Where's my blood, blood, where is it, oh, why can't I find it." After picking up a number of items, (shampoo, mouthwash, eye wash), she finally grabbed a large jar of Vaseline and started trying to hit me with it! I realized that what she'd been looking for was something to hurt me with! Needless to say, once she gets going, there is no shower. In the past, I've been able to talk to her in a calm and reassuring voice, explaining what's going on, and why, and she would, eventually get in the shower. It has now been 10 days of this, and I'm at my wits end as to how to deal with it. Not only is she getting pretty stinky, (yes I have been able to get her to wash some with personal cleansing clothes), but, I'm concerned that she's going to start getting sores on her body. She's already getting large scaly patches of skin where the dry, dead skin is sloughing off.
Any help/suggestions that you can offer will be appreciated!

First off, I am a spouse of eoad wife and not a professional, however I have had identical situation with wife in past 2 months. She seems to be terrified of the water in the shower now and no amount of coaxing will overcome it. She cries and begs with you when you attempt to get her in there. I have resorted to sitting her in a chair by the sink and using wash cloths to bathe her and wash her hair. She seems to be more secure if I give her a big bath towell wrapped around her shoulders that she can hold onto while I bathe her. Not sure why the sudden fear of the shower but this adjustment has helped a lot.
Good luck....

Try a bath, maybe with bubbles. She might be fascinated and willing to play.

My husband likes the shower once he gets in, but the change of temperatures from room temp to much warmer makes him feel cold, which he hates.

you are pretty unprofessional to let this go this long. why haven't you called in a psychiatrist? if i knew who you were i would report you for negligence!

jk,,in all fairness,,,its a bitch when someone is so "petrified" of getting bathed,,and when they become violent at the time the caregiver is trying to do their job,,I mean really,,what can they do???

But we know that our LO's do need to be washed one way or another,,so what I question is why the professional caregiver hasn't addressed this issue with the person's family.

It would seem to me that they could get a strong sedative to almost knock the patient out ,,long enough to have a good bath,,with assistance of at least 2 people bathing the afflicted patient.

There are no easy answers,,,just suggestions on how to do what has to be done.

I don't know how progressed your LO is, but a woman I know with early onset dementias told me that its the noise of the water in the shower that upsets them. She started wearing earplugs and was then able to enjoy her shower. It's a long shot but might be worth trying, if this person is able to comprehend what earplugs are and why you want to use then.

I was told by a wise NP that no one has died from not bathing, and it's not worth getting hurt (you or them) to get them into the shower.

I don't believe in chemical restriants, and I don't think drugging someone and putting them in water is a real good idea. I can understand your frustration with facing this for 10 days in a row. It's very difficult to meet our own caregiving standards when we are dealing with this disease.

I have had the same experience with the bathing.
Today for instant I have tried all day to talk him in to a bath or shower and he has refused. I can't even remember how long it has been but I don't want him to hurt me and he does get violent with me. I just don't know what to do.
I've tried everything that has been suggested.
Anything new?

Terry F, bless you for taking care of your spouse and trying your best. LoraGail and your client too. Not only are you caretaking which many will NOT do, but you are taking the time to write in for help here in the little spare time that you have left. I just am shocked at the response you got from jk204 and hope you ignore that posting.Life is stressful and sad enough for us caring for our loved ones. I hope you find the help you need from the compasionate people that come here to help eachother.

jk204, may I kindly suggest that when you write a message, that before you post it you ask someone else to look at it? If no one is available, maybe take a walk before posting?

It might help us if we could understand where your hostility comes from?

Thank you for the back up support Alan. I hope thats Terry F sees our postings, poor thing. People who write like that are very unhappy in their lives.
Hugs to all of you fabulous care givers out there!

WHEN OUR RESIDENTS AT THE NURSING HOME GET VIOLENT WE EITHER WALK AWAY FOR A BIT(BUT NOT TO FAR) OR WE JUST GIVE THEM A HEAD TO TOE GOOD OLE SPONGE BATH,I HAVE BEEN ON THE SAME END AS YOU AND IT IS TOUGH,IF NOTHING ELSE I WILL GO AND GET SOME ONE ELSE TO TRY,MAYBE THEY WERE HAVING A MOMENT WHERE THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE SOMEONE FROM THE PAST THAT THEY DIDN'T LIKE AND DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER AND TOOK IT OUT ON YOU.GOOD LUCK HUN,I KNOW WHERE YOUR COMING FROM.