Hello everybody....sorry it's ben forever since I've been on. A lot has changed and a lot has happened. I have currently gone back to school to be a massage therapist and I'm loving it.

Grandma on the other hand is not doing so good. She has declined, which is expected, but she still has some good and bad days as well. Although the bad seems to outweigh the good. Her ability to talk has declined greatly but her ability to laugh and smile is still there. I have class two nights a week; tuesday and thursday. I went and saw her thursday night after class because I couldn't see her before I went. She was already sleeping of course, but I went in and gave a her a kiss and told her I love her and left. That was all I needed to do and I was happy.

As for other things, my daughter will be 2 on the 20th of this month. She is doing wonderful. I got a picture of her on valentines day and she looks soo much like me now i.e. hair color, nose, eyes. She is beautiful and very smart. However, I'm having a hard time getting through her birthday. I got her cake on friday and my mom let me use her car. All I could think was that I'm celebrating a birthday for a child that I don't even have. I don't think I've ever been in a moment as awkward as that. It hurts and the pain is there. I need to keep telling myself that I did the best thing for her. I know I will get through this, but no matter how much I try and prepare myself for this, it never turns out the way I want it to. I dread her birthday because it's so hard to get through.

Grandma on the other hand has been sick. She had a bad cough that she has been battling since Christmas. I was upset when my grandpa told me that one of the nurses told him that they won't give her something unless THEY think she needs it. One of the nurses listened to her chest and she sounded fine. When she listened to her back, it was a whole different story. I guess she sounded terrible. She has a lot of mucus and phlegm when she coughs, it's horrible. I saw red though for the first time in a long time. What I was wondering how long it would have taken for this cough to turn into pneumonia and kill her??? Her PCP came in and gave her an antibiotic and I guess she's doing much better.

If she has had a cough like that since Christmas, and they haven't treated her for it until now, isn't that considered neglect?