The sun set a half hour ago, and it should be blissfully quiet. But no, there are 2 or 3 kids outside, still riding their bikes and yelling constantly. I get up to see what's going on, maybe figure out who's the parent at fault.

There they are . . . oh . . . it's the kids whose 30-ish father died, unexpectedly, less than a year ago.

The light is the same, but oh how everything looks different.

Alan,
I'm glad to hear that you were able to get through the sundown to see the different persective!

Alan & Ttom

This disease makes us look at life and the earth differently, doesn't it?

You tend to respect and appreciate the colors, the veins of a leaf, the scent of a flower. Lawns being mowed, even cow dung!

I think I have finally accepted the other side of this disease. I guess what I'm saying is, instead of dwelling on the negative of the disease (although there have been times...), I'm finding myself observing the world around me and looking at it with a different perspective.

I keep getting these mini strokes with the massive headaches., but, that's okay. As long as I can have a hug and a kiss from my kids and grandchildren, I'm finally at peace with my life.

I simply accept....
M

Beautiful words and thoughts, Mary. Beautiful.

Mary,

"You've come a long way, baby!" ( I think that quote is from an old cigarette commercial?)


You are lovely as are your words.



Thank you so much for sharing.

mary, you have helped me see what mom is looking at, tho her words do not describe her experience. thank you.

Alan, Mary et al,

I've been thinking about this perspective thing. Although I still fight my declining, I'm, also, trying to let go a bit. I've been fighting my whole life. I don't plan to just give up but I'm feeling kinda tired and weary.

Perhaps sinking into the abyss isn't so bad after all??? lol

Lisa, there may be more important issues for us early dementia folks, but none so universal as: Now what?

Having a fighting spirit gets confusing, when it meets a 100% dominant disease. At what point does having a fighting spirit become delusional?

Or, is this a different kind of fight? More like the fight in learning to play a musical instrument? Where we learn the boundaries so that we can make music, not noise. Whatever that means.

Sinking into an abyss can be great, if it has lots of nurturing and recuperative time.

Alan,

You always seem to have a way to put things where I can understand them. Thank you. You haven't lost your therapeutic touch!

I agree that fighting a dominant degenerative disease sometimes doesn't make much sense. But, I don't make much sense lately either! lol.

Thanks again for being you.

Hi to All,

For me I fought my diagnosis. Then came to accept it. I still don't like it and I have my days where I can still feel sorry for myself and angry at the diagnosis.

These days I feel like I'm surfing. Trying to adjust and stay balanced for whatever the days throw my way.

Sometimes I surf pretty well and other days, well let's just say it feels like I'm being towed under by the waves.

Yesterday was a "towed under day," brought on by too much activity I think.

Cindy

Cindy, yesterday I tried to figure out how to rearrange the furniture. It took everything I had and today I slept all day and no brain left to do anything.

Cindi, Cheri et al,

I know what you mean by surfing. I call mine riding the roller coaster. Hence: my blog "Thoughts from the roller coaster." It's up and down and all around!

Cheri, lately if I get one thing accomplished, I need a nap! lol.

Hang in there, ladies!

After I posted "I'm overwhelmed--again!", the nurse for my new sleeping medication telephoned me. That night, the sleeping med finally kicked in and I got my deep sleep. I need my rest! Hallelujah!

Iris L.

Iris,

I'm so glad you got some well needed rest/sleep.

I hope it continues.

Thinking of you.