My mom passed away 4 weeks ago. I took care of her at her house for 2 years and then she lived me and my family for 8 months. Her room is still the same. I feel like if I pack her stuff up then it feels like she never was here and I can't handle that. I tried to honor her wish's in ever way is asked for I never left her side my stepdad of 8 years did though so I had to deal with that to. I let her die here at home with me. I miss her so so much. And people tell me all the time move on this is not how she would want you live. I get so mad when people tell this to me a huge part of me living my life was with her and me my best friend the person you can go to with anything and she just always gave that huge hug that shoulder to cry on. The one that loved you no matter what. Why do people just want to go on as if nothing happend or they feel it has been long enough for me to be ok. I miss her so so much and just feel like I have to hide my hurt. My heart hurts so much. Thank you for letting me get my feelings out.

Cheri-
You will move on when your ready to not when other people tell you it's time to. Sure maybe your mom did not want you to live this way but your grieving and that's that. Nobody walks in your shoes and no one can tell you when you will feel better, There is no time limit to grieving. Everyone deals with things in their own way and you should be no different. When your ready to move on you will. You will never get over this but as time goes by you will accept it and find a way not too hurt so much.

I'm so sorry for your loss. People mean well, but don't understand the pain unless they have had a great loss themselves. This is a time you need to think of yourself and not others. You are the one grieving and you alone know when it's time to move on. Please don't allow anyone to make you feel like you need to hide your feelings. This will only prolong the intense pain you are now experiencing. They are your feelings to express any way you need to. Perhaps you may want to let them know how they can help you through this process.
Take all the time you need before packing your mom's stuff. It is an emotional task to tackle after only four weeks. My heart goes out to you.

God Bless.

Hi Cheri,
I too, felt lost after my mom passed. I thought I'd be relieved of the work, but I just felt useless, at least for awhile. I used to say that it felt like my arms were no longer fully attached and just dangling.

It just takes a while.

My mom passed in June (tomorrow, to be exact) and I enrolled in a college class that Sept. It helped to have something structured to pour myself into.

What you're feeling is normal and part of the process--and your mom will always be with you and is still your best friend, and soon, it will be less bitter and more sweet to remember.

My thoughts are with you.

~Carol O'Dell