"In lieu of flowers, donate to ALZ Association."
This is what I will tell everyone.

My father passed yesterday at 6:10 pm.
His only wish was to be cremated. He never told me what to do with the ashes, nor how to memorialize him. We have no family that is living besides my own 3 children, who are still young. Everyone else are distant relations, who are living very far away.

Any ideas are welcome....

My sincere sympathies to you today. I think you can decide at a later date what to do with the ashes after you've had some time to just breathe. Then you can think about what your Dad might have preferred.
Perhaps a short memorial service to allow you to have some closure? It sounds like there are people around you who would like to acknowledge your Dad. Of course you'll want to notify the distant relatives, maybe saying you don't expect them to make the long journey but wanted them to know and help pass the word... Donations to AZ, etc.
thinking of you today -

You have my deepest sympathy.

I am sorry for your lost...I agree take for yourself and it will come to you

Im sorry for you loss.....You don't have to do anything right away.....maybe if you love gardening.....you could put some ashes in your garden.....so Dad would be there with you, or did he like a favorite lake or ocean....? Take your time....friend......it will come to you. Im so glad I got my Moms burial plot changed 2 yrs ago.....when she did remember me saying, Mom, isn't it great....you won't have to be buried over there ALONE.....you and I can be buried next to each other.....Im glad I had that conversation that day....now it would be forgotten in 5 mins.......Again, Im sorry..

ZOEY

Thank you for all your kind wishes.

I've discovered that Jewish cemetaries do intern cremated remains. Now my parents will have a peaceful resting place and a memorial where my family and I can viist.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad died 3/2/08 and we had him cremated too. I agree, take some time for yourself to grieve and heal somewhat.

I have just begun a Bridges class through hospice this past Monday. Thought I was doing pretty well and actually still do, but I found out I have a way to go yet before I can really feel that my grieving has finally leveled off.

Daddy took up painting once he retired and mom & daddy moved to the mountains in North Carolina. His favorite painting was on one of the rock cliffs overlooking Lake Lure. On 6/28/08 my mom and my brother drove up to that same rock cliff and scattered daddy's ashes at his favorite spot. Daddy was never thrilled about leaving NC, but knew he had to move closer to me so I could help them as they aged. He's now back in his beloved NC mountains. I'm sure he's smiling again especially since he's whole too!!

My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers when he was 46. He died on June 28, 2008. He would have been 58 on July 11. We buried his ashed on July 5th, my husbands b-day and my son who I named after my dad celebrated his 9th b-day on july9th. I had 11 years toprepare and yet I feel so depressed. I want to go back to my life and I am moving at a snais pace. I now have nightmares of losing my kids. When will this stop???

I am sorry for all these losses mentioned above. Each story tugs at my heart but I am glad everyone shares this, because this is a place I can come to and feel safe to just read or reply if I want to.

Earlier today, I ran into one of the ladies who was the Alzheimer's Coordinator at my mom's assisted living. We talked and she invited me to come by soon. I told her I could not right now. (My mom passed on May 5, 2008.) I told her it was too soon. I said that I can't even stand to be around old people right now(especially "little old ladies"), because they all remind me of my mother. I tried not to cry talking about it, but I know she could tell. She said that her dad has passed away three weeks ago, so she knew how I felt. (He had heart failure.) Really, no one knows about losing someone to Alzheimer's unless they have been through it, and we all still experience it at different degrees.

I just wanted to send a quick note and tell everyone here I am sorry for their loss. I miss my mom!

My mother-in-law passed away 25th July. We had her in our home for 6 weeks after bringing her home from the nursing home citing some problems there. She went her in sleep and we know that her mind is finally at rest.

I am so sorry about your loss. It sounds like you are in that place where you don't know what to feel, think, or do. Give yourself time. It will get a little clearer and easier day by day. These decisions don't have to be made today. I will keep you in my prayers.

I can't begin to touch how deeply sorry I am for your loss. It is amazing how similar this loss is for all of us. My two sisters and I were all holding my mom's hands and stroking her as she drew her last breath a few weeks ago. She was in a comotose state for almost a week prior to her passing and we stayed with her almost the entire time. Knowing that we did everything we possibly could for her helped but thats all it did. I used to call her every night to check on her and my younger sister would call her every morning and now these are the times that are the hardest for each of us. As for what to do with the ashes, I agree that you should let this decision come naturally and don't feel like this decision has to be made right away. I'm doing a memory garden in honor of my mother in my back yard using a lot of her plants and flowers from her home and this is very theraputic for me. Maybe doing something like this would help you and maybe the ashes could be incorperated into a project such as this. Your father would be nearby so you could visit him when ever you wanted to. Know that you have a lot of people who don't even physically know you, but know very well what you are going through and are praying for you and your three kids.