My mom died in November. Before she died, she was in an ALF. After her fall, I had to place her in a NH, where she passed away after 2 months. During this time, I needed to have all her possessions taken out of the ALF. My family helped me move her things. I had everything put into boxes and brought to my home. The boxes were just piled up in one of our rooms for a long time after she passed away. I have finally been able to go through them. I cry over everything. My husband and kids don't understand why I don't just give all her clothing to the local thrift store. I find it so hard to do. I used to dress her. I used to go shopping with her and delighted in seeing her smile when I bought her something new. I was able to get rid of some stuff. But I'm finding it so hard to get rid of everything. I keep closing the boxes and telling myself I'll deal with it another time. I put several of her outfits in other bins and put them in our storage area in the attic. I find it difficult to get rid of her books, her albums, her tapes, her stuffed animals, her figurines. And yet, we don't have the room to keep everything.

Has anybody else gone through this same thing? I can't even bring myself to get rid of her wheelchair and her walker and her canes!

Marge

My mom passed in January and I understand what you're experiencing. I was able to dispose of her clothing (328 coat hangers worth!) - but the gowns, socks, and booties she wore in her final months are still hanging in the closet. Sometimes closure is a good thing, some times it isn't. Getting rid of her things is symbolically letting go of your mom. Don't feel guilty about it, the worst thing you could do is blindly throw everything away - then sometime later regret it. My biggest lesson from taking care of my mom was to trust my insticts more.

Yes, and I'm still going through it. My mom died in September and her room is still intact. I have given away some stuff, but I'm holding on to the clothes she wore daily and anything that was meaningful to her. So far I have been able to give away her coats, some jewelry, stuffed animals. I was able because I gave them to people that I know would be blessed by them.

You say you lack the room to keep all her things, perhaps you could give the bulky stuff, wheelchair, walker and canes, to someone who will put them to good use. It helps a little knowing you gave them to someone who needs them.

As for the rest of the stuff, listen to yourself about dealing with it another time. Close those boxes. You are not ready yet. Your mom's things are like having parts of whom she was, still with you. It is a very painful process of letting go.

I am still grieving and in no frame of mind to deal with such a difficult task yet. Take your time. You will know when you are ready.
God Bless

Give yourself time. There's no "rule" on how long it takes to sort through possessions.

My Mom died at the end of December and I have inherited her house, where I plan to live long-term. It's been hard to get rid of things, but I've donated a lot, like her yarn and needlework supplies, because if someone else could get happiness from them, then that's what she would want.

Another thing I've done is try to turn some things into something decorative. I did this with some of the sweaters she hand-knit...making a little display.

With great difficulty and actually being forced (we had to have her room cleared out in the NH the day after she passed. they "needed" it immediately for someone coming in.)

I left most of her clothes with the NH as they said they would be put to good use as some people come in with nothing or next to rags (my mom's stuff was brand new and she didn't "use" them except to sit) and other items I just left there. I took home personal items, which I probably should have left, but couldn't. Christmas tree, hearts from the wall Valentines Day, Shramrocks, you know.

But when it came down to you have two hours left to get what you want out..... that forced the issue. Good thing? Maybe. Bad thing. Maybe, but probably a good thing. Someone else is getting good use out of "material things" she won't need anymore. Just very sad.

The only thing I can't and probably never, will get rid of is what she was wearing when she passed. Just in my closet. Will remain that way. Good luck and go with your feelings!

I went through the house like a whirl wind. Getting rid of everything of hers and trying not to think or feel anything. The good part is that I don't have to deal with it any longer. The bad part is that I got rid of some things that I wish I hadn't. Allow yourself whatever time you need. This is a time to be gentle with yourself.