My husband, Jim, died at age 60 from early on-set AD in Feb. 2008. He was diagnosed at age 54. It was a long 6 years but it was also a short 6 years. I had read messages on this board over and over again to get help, which it did provide. Jim has asked me that he not be forgotten. I hope that I am going to do that now. Jim served his country during the Vietnam Era and he was an avid motorcyle rider. Life time HOG member. Friends and relatives have told me that his funeral was a celabration of his life. I think I did the best I could. Jim had full military honors, buried at the National Cemetary of the Alleghenies. The Patriot Guard was escort. His casket resembled his motorcycle, the flowers I had made were of the Harley logo. There were red white and blue flowers along with black and orange. We would have been married 40 years this coming Nov. As a result of all of this I decided to put on a fund raiser for AD in Jim's memory. In this way, he will not be forgotten and I hope make more people aware of this dreaded disease. It is a motorcycle poker run, but I have made sure that all walks of life are invited. I am trying my best to cope with the loss. This for me has helped me find peace with myself.
I know that so many of you have guilt, how to cope with the loss. For me I feel that I did everything I could to help Jim, made him as comfortable as I could, but I did have lots of help from caregivers and hospice. I was at his side as he passed and for the longest time I only had that image in my head. As time goes on and as I have looked at old pictures, I smile at how it used to be and remember the good times. I feel that this is one of the worst ways anyone could died, but I hope to make some meaning out of Jim's life. I think he would be proud and honored.

I am a Harley Rider also and have many friends with the same love as Jim. You are an amazing wife. Jim, I know is very happy with all you have done. But I'm sure you know that too.
I would love to see pictures of his funeral, the casket sounds amazing. I hope that doesn't seem strange. I lost my mom April 9, 2008. She wanted to be cremated and my husband made the wood box for her remains. Being I live in Northern Minnesota, April 13, 2008 was not a great day for burial. So she's home with me! I love it. And making everything right for my mom meant more to me then anybody will ever know. It sound like you had the same determination! It is great when you do what you know they wanted and can feel good about it.
I believe very much that Jim is proud and more then honored!

My sister did take a picture of the flowers that I had made. They were the ones that you put on top of the casket. I gave the florist the orange Harley bar and shield and ask if she could copy it for the arrangement. It was awesome. We were afraid to take pictures because we thought everyone would be outraged. But the casket I found was black with silver trim which looked like chrome. I got a black and silver bar and shield and the funeral director attached it to the top. Everyone thought it was a harley casket. I know it sounds funny to talk about this but it was he love of motorcycles that I wanted to do that for him. It did help me being able to send him off as a celebration. Don't get me wrong as there were many,many tears, but to able to do that was what I wanted for him.

Afternoon gretjim-
After I left that message to your original, I thought it might have sounded so matter of fact and with no heart strings attached. I see you took it as I meant it! Thanks. It's kinda sad to have to worry about how people will "take things" at your husbands service...but living in smallsville, (population 552 and 1 stoplight in our whole county!) I so get it.
When we had mom's service I planned it just like I knew she wanted. The cremation part was the most difficult, it had been talked about for so long, I never dreamed one of my siblings would NOT have known. But found that to be true and our strong wills kicked in. I was going by what mom had told me, and all that mattered was that I make my mother happy and do everything as I knew she would have wanted it. Even if I didn't have the direction in a few of the areas. The service was second to none, my brother is a professional photographer, so we had an amazing slide show, great singing, happy up lifting message from the pastor and "let's talk about Pat" time. I am still getting comments from people in the community that have told me or my dad that it is one of the best service ever. Nobody from the funeral home, we did our own programs greated those that came and had the church ushers let everyone go afterwords, row by row. Like I said whenI started, I ticked off a couple siblings, which was not my intention, my one and only goal was knowing mom was loving everything about it!
And it certainly sound like you got the same results. Doing it the way only someone as close as a spouse or daughter, etc. could and would. I think we should both be very proud of ourselves. "A celebration of Life." That is what I want and now my father has asked me to do the same for him! So it was a hit, so to speak.
If you don't mind, I'll leave my e-mail address if you care to share the pictures.
Believe me, I'm not one of those morbid type people. (yep I re-read what I wrote) I love life, the outdoors, riding my bike, horses kayaking, I just love everything about it. Most of those things are thanks to my mom.
Jim is up in heaven telling my mom about his amazing service and the flowers, and my mom...she gets it, she understands the motorcycle love herself. Glad to have connected with you-LeAnne - If you decide to use it -
leannes_shirt_shop@yahoo.com that's me!
Have a great week.