My Mom passed ten years ago tomorrow, massive stroke after early onset (60) AD. She stayed at home, Dad caring for her, and me there a lot and the only family member willing to be with her when she died. Now Dad, 84 has it, they said vascular dementia at first, but it is now "mixed" and once again, I am the one here on a fulltime basis. Very hard to have two parents with this. I am a fifty year old female, with two sisters unwilling/unable to help. Very hard stuff, he is rather grumpy and depressed, but loooking back he has been depressed I would say my whole childhood.

I'm really sorry Nicole. I can't imagine going through this twice. Work through your feelings as best you can and then it's time to get to work. You do have the advantage that you know what you need to get taken care of financially, legally and medically. With your Dad at 84, some things are bound to be a bit different. I hope you have good resources to lean on and facilities you can check out for future needs. No one can do this alone as you well know for very long. Yes, it's very tuff. One of the toughest steps I think is making the role transition to parent from child.
I hope you can have at least an honest talk with your sisters about what needs to happen and how you need their help. If they can't be there physically, they can certainly offer other help. Locate some for you or help financially. At least you won't have the added guilt of NOT telling them how things are progressing. It's up to them to step up to the plate and live with their choices.
Good luck Nicole - thinking of you.

Nicole:

I sure can relate to what you are feeling. I have the same situation. My mom passed away from a massive stroke and AD eight years ago. My father has been diagnosed with dementia almost three years ago. When I heard that, all I could say, was God no, not again. I sure wasn't prepared for another round. My mom was my first experience with Alzheimer's, I feel my father is benefiting some from our experience with my mom, but it is still the hardest thing to deal with. I used to think having two parents with AD was unusual, sadly, it's not that unusual. Keep coming back to the Caregiver's Forum for support and help. As Beth in Indiana said, start putting together resources for help for you, even if it's not family, because with this, we all need all the help we can get.

Nicole I understand in that both of my parents had/have AD. My father got it earlier around 63 and died at 72 and my 86 year old mother has been suffering now for about 7-8 years. She entered stage 7 this summer which her nursing facility terms "a more peaceful state". Right after Thanksgiving we got a call that she had taken a turn for the worse and is either not eating or barely eating. Because my parents were divorced at the time with my Dad and us somewhat estranged, we too are unsure what to expect going forward. I have just found this great place for sharing and am appreciative.

Nicole, I am so sorry this is happening to you. Add me to the list -- my dad died in 2004 after Parkinsons with dementia, now my mom has mixed dementia (probably vascular with Alzheimers). You will find lots of support here as you go on the latest leg of your journey. Big hugs, Ruth.

I know this is an old post but couldn't help but replying. I lost my mother to vascular demetia/AD on July 5, 2008 and my fater to AD on Sept. 3 2008 (yes two months apart). I had matching hospital beds in their room that once had the bed they shared for over 50 years. As you well know AD is an ugly, ugly disease but sometimes is as hard or harder on the caretaker. Take care of yourself but, you will never regret taking care of your Dad.