I know that there are some of the poeple on this site that have EOAD. But, how many of us have had their drivers license revoked due to the cognative impairment? How do you handel it? I'm 60 and my wife needs to work for another 5 years or so before we can afford retirement. While she works I set home. When she gets home she is tired and needs to relax. I fully understand and appreciate her situation. I worked more than 40 years in my life and know it is tiring, and even worse now with the economy the way it is. Our nearest off spring lives more than an hour away. Sometimes I feel that retirement is more than a lifetime away!
Is anybody else in this situation and how do you stay sane? I try to volunteer on this site to stay busy but a lot of the stories are worse than mine and that is sort of dragging me down now. I'd never think about not volunteering here as it is about the only thing I have to make me feel useful and I care about youi people!
All thoughts are welcome!

Hang in there, Tom. I have too much work to do--I'm overwhelmed. I wish more patient members used our chat rooms.

Iris L.

quote:

I try to volunteer on this site to stay busy but a lot of the stories are worse than mine and that is sort of dragging me down now. I'd never think about not volunteering here as it is about the only thing I have to make me feel useful and I care about youi people!

You're doing fine Tom, and brother, there's no need to feel bad because you're doing better in some ways than some of the rest of us.

I really truly can't imagine feeling badly towards a fellow traveler, who started the journey after I did, and/or is going a little slower.

People doing much worse than me, probably aren't contributing. And I think you're doing great, and could stand to contribute a lot more.

quote:

Originally posted by Iris L.:
Hang in there, Tom. I have too much work to do--I'm overwhelmed. I wish more patient members used our chat rooms.

Iris L.

Iris,
i stay away from the chat rooms because it takes me too long to hear what is being told to me, understand it and folrmulate a reply. Even then I don't seem to be able to put my questiolns or concerns into words. This message board allows me time to get that done.
On top of that by 7 pm (when the chat rooms start usually) the Seroquel is kicking in and I'm almost useless!
I feel bad for you Iris. Your situation is quite different that mine but terrible anyway. I don't understand how you are able to take care of yourself. If I was any good at takin g care of myself it would ease up on my wife who is stressed out. I do all I can but usually mess up what she has in mind. Then I've wasted her time and made myself feel terrible.

Tom, do you go to church?

I ask because I have several members from our church come by and take hubby out a couple of times a week, to combat his 'boredom'.

Some of the guys take him bowling. One of the guys comes by each week, picks him up and they go down to the church and work on maintenance things.

Hubby is 54 and has EOAD. We also have 3 young children at home, so needless to say, we have a very busy schedule. It helps to have a circle of friends from outside the home who are willing to help out, and church is just one of the places that can provide that.

I hope this has given you some helpful suggestions.

quote:

Originally posted by DSM14:

I have several members from our church come by and take hubby out a couple of times a week, to combat his 'boredom'.

Some of the guys take him bowling. One of the guys comes by each week, picks him up and they go down to the church and work on maintenance things.

Hubby is 54 and has EOAD. We also have 3 young children at home, so needless to say, we have a very busy schedule. It helps to have a circle of friends from outside the home who are willing to help out, and church is just one of the places that can provide that.

I hope this has given you some helpful suggestions.

Thanx for your support DSM14. Yes, we used to go to church every week but haven't for a year or so. in 2002 we moved about 15 miles to the other side of the city and havn't been back to our old church. We are still members of a very larger church in our new area. So large (over 10,000 members) that it was next to impossible to get to know anybody. I was friends with the Senior pastor (There are 6 junior pastors in this church. Pastor Paul and I used to go to lunch about once a month. Since he retired and moved away the younger pastors don't even know me. We tried several other churches in the area but none seemed to be a great fit. My wife was a deconess and I was a member of the Pastor/Parish committe. Her and I have "settled" on watching Doctor Stanley on TV.
I've thought about going back but too many things have changed. I used to be active in helping whenever Pastor Paul needed me. Now I'm the one that needs the help and it doesn't feel right to ask. There are so many things I can't do well anymore because of the AD. Besides confusion I'm consantly off balance. I can see me trying to bowl or up a ladder! But, maybe that it what I need to do.

quote:

Originally posted by Alan in Colorado:

You're doing fine Tom, and brother, there's no need to feel bad because you're doing better in some ways than some of the rest of us...
.
and could stand to contribute a lot more.

Thanx Alan. I wish that is was possible to contribute more. Sometimes I can read a post once and pretty well understand plus respond in a heart beat. Other times I need to read and re-read posts many times before it sinks in. When those times hit my reply might take the rest of the afternoon! Good thing that I come out of those low periods and quickly foreget about them! Sometimes I don't even realize that I'm not doing well and that gets even scarier!

Tom,

I know it's been difficult for you feeling isolated and all. I know you've been working very hard on getting an EOAD/YOAD support group started in your area.

Perhaps Jaimie can help you with corporate??

Your online EOAD support group is doing well! But, I know you'd like to be with some real people face to face!!

Tom, you still contribute a great deal to these boards and the PV's. You're hanging in there pretty well! Don't wait until December to see your doctor. Go NOW!

Thinking of you.

quote:

Sometimes I don't even realize that I'm not doing well and that gets even scarier!

Tom, would you be open to the opposite being true? What I'm trying to say is, I look forward to being less aware. I think too much, I stress out so badly when I take a step lower in functioning, and I'm pretty sure less awareness is in my future, regardless of what I want.

The main place it's happening to me is, it's not unusual for me to say something that makes no sense to my listener. If I remember what I just said, I repeat it, and the person will still be confused. I think I'm making sense, so we have to drop it.

Do you have that problem?

Dear ttom have you thought about going to one of the senior centers during the day. When I was looking into them they had current events groups, and craft groups and other activities. It would probably be something that you could both do, and help with.

quote:

Originally posted by vjh:
Dear ttom have you thought about going to one of the senior centers during the day. When I was looking into them they had current events groups, and craft groups and other activities. It would probably be something that you could both do, and help with.

That sounds like a winning idea VJH, thank you. I will begin to investigate the idea. Maybe my wife can drop me off after lunch and pick me up in the evening. I'm not fit to be around in the morning hours.