Hi. I have been looking for info. My family thinks my mother, age 58, has dementia. She exhibits hoarding behaviors, repeats questions, forgets answers, follows people from room to room, has trouble cooking and using the phone. (These are just a partial list.) I have noticed the symptoms getting worse over the past 4 years. Many people have mentioned the symptoms to my dad, and I have talked directly to my mother. He denies it. She says her bloodwork is fine. Can anyone help me? How did you get help for your loved one? I think she should see a neurologist (as do my brother and husband - both doctors). Thank you for any input or advice.

A Neurologist is in order.I wouldn't trade mine for nothin.'

I agree....Did you have similar symptoms? My problem is I can't get my mom to see the issues, and my dad is in denial. Do you have any suggestions on how to get her to see a neurologist? Thanks so much.

Dear kbird29,
My sister has been diagnosed recently (she's 51) and my brother-in-law made the appointment with the neurologist and didn't tell her about it until the day before. She didn't want to go, but he told her he loved her and wanted to get some help for her. Each time they go to the neurologist he waits until the day before. She doesn't always want to go, but so far she's gotten in the car and they've gone. Even though she's been told she has Alzheimers she insists that the doctor says he doesn't know what's wrong with her. We don't argue with her and just let her believe what she wants to believe. It's a tough journey. I hope you can get your mother to the neurologist, it's really important that she get medical attention.

Take care and good luck to you.

Thank you for your response. I have thought about doing that, but my father is opposed to taking her now. I also think her health insurance requires a referral, so I would have to get her doctor on board. I also am not sure about her disability (if she has it) or if she should get long-term care insurance/disability before going to the neurologist. Any advice?

kbird29,
Hello and welcome. I'm sorry for what brings you here. The neurologist is a Must! You really can't do anything much without one. Perhaps have a family meeting and tell you Mom and your Dad your concerns and love. Perhaps you can ask her to do for all of you!!

Good Luck

Peace and Hope,

kbird29,
Perhaps you could talk to her doctor about it and he could initiate something with your mom (i.e., a follow-up visit). Then he could refer her to the neurologist and sometimes when it's done by the doctor they're more open to going (even your Dad). Just a suggestion.

Hi. Thank you for all of your responses. I spoke with my Dad and am going to talk with mom. My brother has also spoken with them....I am going to try and send the info directly to her doctor and ask for a referral. Hopefully, we can figure out what is going on. I dread finding out, but at the same time I want her to get help.

one thing you can do:

schedule the appointment with the neurologist for mom.

tell mom you have a Dr appointment and you want her to go with you.

this is not something I made up, but a proven tried and true way for loved ones to be seen.

Also, do not act like a harping nag.
be a concerned friend.

i have learned that everyone likes to be respected and dignity and independence is very important.