My wife (57 yrs old) was diagnosed with AD in Jan 06 but did not want anyone to know. It became obvious to our friends that something was wrong,but people respected our privacy and didn't say anything. My wife perceives that people really won't notice anything. I finally said something to our friends w/o my wife's knowledge. I feel I did the righ thing but hold on to some guilty feelings. She would stil now be very upset if she knew people were awara of her condition. Has anyone gone through this situation?
Thanks!

Jack,

Oh my gosh! My sister (51) has been diagnosed and she told her husband that her health is nobody's business. She doesn't think anyone knows either, but EVERYONE who knows her is aware of there being a problem. She is in complete, total denial right now.

My brother, Mom and myself decided that, for our own support, that we needed to talk to our own support systems. We also explained to them that she would be devestated to know that people knew so they're being very discreet.

Please don't feel guilty. You did the right thing by telling your friends. You need support and I'm sure your friends will be very closed mouth about it.

I pray for a cure during their lifetimes.

I also do not think you should feel guilty, assuming that the people you told were close friends with only your best interests at heart. While my father has been struggling through this disease, I have been encouraged by my close friends who I know care. You need a support system to help you through these difficult times, and who better than your friends?

Thank you so much for your responses. You are right, I do need the support and finally realized that our close and trusted friends need not be kept in the dark any longer (it was a lousy two years). I'm glad I'm not alone. Unless your a primary care giver, no one can really know what it is like to see a loved one slowly disappear before your eyes. It really will be a long goodbye.
Dear God.....give us strength. Thanks again for your feedback.

Dear Jack E,
I'm sure you did it with good intentions!! Yes, YOU need lots of support too! Don't forget about your local Alz assn. too. They can be of great assistance.

Good Luck
God will give you strength!!

Peace and Hope,
Lisa

Lisa,
Thank you..this really helps. I have enough to handle w/o carrying around baggage of guilt.

Peace & Hope
Jack

Jack,

You said something in your post that I had been trying to verbalize, but just couldn't quite figure it out...it is a long goodbye! I feel like I'm grieving already. Thanks for putting it into words for me. Take care! God will give us all strength!

my 50 year old mother kept it from me for six months and i am the only one that knows. she has begged me not to say anything and I told her I wouldn't....but I know she needs to talk to everyone closest to her about it. Her boyfriend, my brother...her sister and brother....I hope that soon she is going to come to terms with it and for now I am going to try and be her support...but this is so hard for me.

Jack, I'm in my 50s with EOAD, thought I'd pitch in my perspective. Yeah, it irritated me when my wife told everyone in her family about my diagnosis. But, a few months later, I'm thankful that she didn't wait on me to be ready. Her family has been a great support to her.

Nothing in life prepares any of us for this disease. We do the best we can, but there is no "ANSWER" when it comes to Alzheimer's.

Alan