I get so scared when my mind won't stop......i got out of bed on monday feeling anxious..and it didnt stop the whole day. my daughter is home for the summer from college(and is working parttime as an intern with the pastor at our church), she would have also worked another job, but, i think she and my husband decided that she would "help" with me, this summer. anyway.....she kept asking me if i was "ok"....i didnt know if i was or not...i didnt know what was wrong...i forgot to eat,,which i do, unless someone reminds me to do. Kelsi fixed me lunch....got through the day..tears off and on all day, when my husband got home she explained that i had been that way all day. he asked the same questions and i had the same answers.

tuesday i didnt even get dressed.....

this morning i woke up feeling refreshed and my mind is clear.

is this normal?
Is there a normal?
Can I hope for any kind of normalcy again in my life?

Tami -- I think the definition of "normal" changes daily with those of us diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We all have our good days and our bad days. I feel anxious quite often and can't put my finger on why. I get panic attacks for no reason, but I know they are not life threatening and I have learned to handle them. Many many days I feel tired and don't feel like doing anything but I push through it. Then I have really great days and can do just about anything I like. My husband and son ask me if I am "o.k.", too. And, it is hard to describe what you are feeling. I get quiet (which isn't like me) and then the questions start coming -- are you o.k? Do you need something? what can I do for you? At least they care and want to help, I just can't always tell them what I need.

Hang in there -- I'm sure you will find much support on this forum.

Kris B. Athens, GA
www.krisbga@hotmail.com
www.creatingmemories.blogspot.com

thank you for you your support.
i went to your blogspot and read a little and and feel hopeful for the future!

quote:

Originally posted by Kris B.:
Tami -- I think the definition of "normal" changes daily with those of us diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We all have our good days and our bad days. I feel anxious quite often and can't put my finger on why. I get panic attacks for no reason, but I know they are not life threatening and I have learned to handle them. Many many days I feel tired and don't feel like doing anything but I push through it. Then I have really great days and can do just about anything I like. My husband and son ask me if I am "o.k.", too. And, it is hard to describe what you are feeling. I get quiet (which isn't like me) and then the questions start coming -- are you o.k? Do you need something? what can I do for you? At least they care and want to help, I just can't always tell them what I need.

Hang in there -- I'm sure you will find much support on this forum.

Kris B. Athens, GA
www.krisbga@hotmail.com
www.creatingmemories.blogspot.com

quote:

Originally posted by T Hoops:
I get so scared when my mind won't stop......i got out of bed on monday feeling anxious..and it didnt stop the whole day. my daughter is home for the summer from college(and is working parttime as an intern with the pastor at our church), she would have also worked another job, but, i think she and my husband decided that she would "help" with me, this summer. anyway.....she kept asking me if i was "ok"....i didnt know if i was or not...i didnt know what was wrong...i forgot to eat,,which i do, unless someone reminds me to do. Kelsi fixed me lunch....got through the day..tears off and on all day, when my husband got home she explained that i had been that way all day. he asked the same questions and i had the same answers.

tuesday i didnt even get dressed.....

this morning i woke up feeling refreshed and my mind is clear.

is this normal?
Is there a normal?
Can I hope for any kind of normalcy again in my life?

Tami, boy do I understand! I have been in my jeans, slept in my jeans for 2 days in a row! I don't think I brushed my teeth today. I feel disgusted at myself. No, I do not think it is normal, but it coud be from the depression? And my head hurts all day every day. I worry about taking too much headache medicine. And it only helps take the edge off . On the bright side, I can still use this dang computer!

Tami, I so know how yo are feeling. My mind does not stop either. Obssesive worry, hyper attention to my finances....paying bills on time. And remembering the past. I write whole letters to people in my head that I never write on paper. I solve world problems (that is fun to do) Hyper vigilent for fear o forgetting something important. I recently sent an email to my ex(only in my head) He left me 6 years ago. I have forgiven him. I realize now how difficult living with me must have been. I was not quite right even then. I loved him so. He gave in to the temtation of an office romance, and I no longer blame him. I recently read that bad things do not allways hapen TO YOU, but FOR you. What seems horrible and is horrible can lead to something good that would not have happened without the horrible event. I keep thinking that is just garbage, but, it makes me feel better. We will all touch lives that we wouldn't have without this experience. No human lives forever. No human lives without some pain along the way. No human goes through life unscathed by some illness that eventually becomes debilitating. It is sad, especialy for the younger ones. There is one friend that I drive absolutely crazy. She calls me too introspective, too analytical, just too everything! I am quite the blabbermouth! Anyhow, Tami, I am here for you. I appreciate you.

Tami, I have also been acused of being suspicious. I was always too trusting. Guess I am now a suspicious old lady. The more I see and get to know people, the more I change my mind about what is normal. Your life circumstances and experiences have a lot to do with how you feel at any given time. For instance traumatic events. I have a lifetime of trauma that never got addressed or tended to. I learned how to ACT normal, to pretend none of those events happened, to pretend to BE normal. My poor husband became my safety net to stave off the terrors that came to my mind in spite of my act.He had to walk out of WallMart with me because I felt phobic? He had to walk out of a certain restuarant with me for the same horrible feeling I had. There were lots of times he had to change plans because of this. In spite of my denial.When he left me, it was like the Niagra Falls of terror. Well, first cane the "stoic" part. That is what my co-workers described me as. Then came the panic attacks. I would suddenly veer to the left when walking. Not too good when I was walking patients in the clinic. They also claimed I had a small siezure, but I swear I did not. And depression. I am wondering if trauma and AD are linked?

Tami
Thank you so much for your truthful and brave accounting of yourself. It was a mirror to me and tells me i am not alone and comforts me.
Just as you, one of my challanges has been tryin to find some kind of a gauge to measure my life by( am i normal even for a demented person hehe?). All the old ones are gone. i am no longer what did at work or what i provided to my wife and kids as mostly they provide and Itry to gracefull accept. I thank God when i have good days and do the dishes without forgeting halfway through and evan make supper to contribe something. But mostly i search a for a place to walk in when i am asked, especially by me. how are you doing?
your openness about how you know you close down when asked these questions also comforted me and challenged me as i again saw my behavior
How are you tryin to get around that and communicate? any tips would be appreciated as i also feel so guilty when family asks me those questions and i first have no idea and second get very withdrawn and aggitated from the question
more anything thankyou for your courage to speak the truth about your situation
you have helped me