I need some advice. My husband is 53, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease last September. Lately, he's been acting very irrational and combative towards me. He signed papers to put our house for sale and now that they put a sign on our lawn and are moving forward with selling, he says he won't leave his house. At the same time, he's refusing to make the mortgage payment, which he's been making every month (I pay the expenses for our 3 kids-food, clothes, etc.) Fortunately, he signed Power of Attorney over to me a couple of months ago, and the lawyer I spoke with said that means I can withdraw money from his bank account to pay the mortgage. But I'm really worried about how he's going to react if I do that. Has anyone else been in this position? How did you handle it?

I'm so stressed out and just don't know which way to go with this. Any advice is appreciated!

Thanks.

Kelly

I would try and see if his doctor could prescribe some medications to reduce the aggresion he his showing.

I don't know how to easily handle the rest. I have my mortgage set up through my bank's online bill pay program. Maybe you could go online and set that up. The bank sends the check to the mortgage company every month and you don't have to think about it.

I would probably go ahead and close his account and combine your bank accounts. He's not making good decisions right now. It would be better to hurt his feelings than for you to get in trouble financially.

My husband went through a phase where he was very argumentative - wanting to start a fight all the time. I know how stressful and -honestly- scarey that can be. The main thing that helped Robert was gettig him on a medication. It was an anti-psychotic. This helps with the delusional side of the illness.

I hope I've helped just a little. Please hang in there. You have some tough decisions ahead of you, but you have the POA so that is good. You're going to have to risk making him mad to protect your family.

Good luck...

Lelore

Hi Lelore:

Thanks for the advice. I think he's going to pay the mortgage; if not I'll use the Power of Attorney to pay it from his acct. (I spoke with a lawyer who said I could do that.) This latest "storm" seems to have passed for now. He actually said last night that something comes over him that he can't control and he doesn't feel like himself when it happens. I did speak with his Dr. and his advice was to reduce the antidepressant med he's been taking and see how he is in a week. I think the antipsychotic might be worth looking into.

I'll keep you posted.

Thanks again.

Kelly

It's really amazing what the right medications in the right dosages can do.. Do you think he could be a little bipolar? I know they thought that Robert was bipolar for a while. If a bipolar person is on an antidepressant when they are not depressed, it can make them rapid cycle and become aggressive. Just a thought.....

I'm glad you got through the storm....

Lelore

Antipsychotics will help him & you,but start low doses then work the way up as needed.Too many Drs go full speed ahead then wonder why the person is so out of it.

kelly5000, come visit us in the Caregivers Forum. There are a lot of us there and lots of good advice and support from people in the same boat.