I think that my 54 year-old husband is displaying some of the presigns to Stage 1 Alzheimer's. I have see some of these signs in the discussion boards, but cannot find anything in the medical community and other web sites. I would really like to hear from someone who has a husband with early-onset Alzheimer's who's spouse displayed these per-signs for several years before the Stage 1 symptoms became obvious. I have seen things like asking a question and getting an answer, then asking the same question, and getting quite irritated when told that he had already asked the question. wide mood swings. Anger over almost nothing. Very tired and physically exausted in early evening like around 6:30 p.m. Wants to go to bed early and then wakes up early or can't sleep. trouble concentrating on simple ideas including changing from the Dish to the TV on remote, running calculator, talking about bills. thanks for your help.

The only way that you are going to know for sure is to get him to a doctor. Each person who has this terrible disease is different. None of us are experts. It sounds like the stuff that you are discribing is simler to me....but then I am no doctor. Get him to a doctor...let them run the tests. One point...don't expect immediate anserws...this disease is not one that they immediately say...yea that fits.

Welcome Mary, you have found a great community. I do agree with what Bob has told you, you do need to get him to a doctor. The reason you may not find much in books, etc is because Early Onset is still being learned and documented even by doctors.

My husband saw many things with me, the first being forgetting recent conversations and personlity changes. Then being late for appt. disorganization, difficulty with paying bills, lost in familiar places and the list goes on and on.

Please keep us informed. To get an appropriate diagnosis you need to get him to a neurologist that is expericenced in treating and diagnosing Early Onset.

He had a great day yesterday and was so much his old self. Today he is tired and adgitated. Our children are 28 and 26 and I have told them for several years that their dad is not himself sometimes. So many people think that when a person acts the way he does that they can help it. I'm not so sure anymore that he can help it. I am supportive and try to pay more attention esecially when he is rambling about something. I am really a hyper person and this is hard for me. I am trying to practice patience. Even if this is something else and not what I think it is, a little patience won't hurt. Grayeagle, do or did you experience tired and painful joints? How about the extreme fatigue in the evening? I think the hardest part for him right now is when he gets so angry with me over really small things. Then he feels bad and tries to make up for it by being over loving. I have reached the point where I don't trust the mood or reaction so I am withdrawing and being protective of myself. In case you were wondering, I have not mentioned my concerns to him. He would not understand my concern and wouldn't believe me anyway and it would cause a big fight. I will wait and watch for a while. I know this isn't a good thing to do but I really don't think I have a choice. I'm going to try to document some of my concerns and may be find some things that I hadn't noticed before. I'm glad I found this site so that I can read about this.

I don't know what you mean by 'presigns' of stage 1, but all the things you describe are common with AD. Close family or colleagues will often notice things well before a doctor is involved and mostly think it's either aging, stress, depression or whatever. So yes, a neurologist who specializes in brain disorders is a good place to start. You can go to the web site below & read 'What you need to know' to help you better understand what he is going thru & how to respond w/less frustration for both of you. Also 'Stages of Alz' will help you monitor the progression of the disease, but remember they can overlap and not everyone goes thru them the same way. When you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask. Take care.

Presigns is what I call the little things that are not quite right. Like searching for eye glasses more times than in the past, or the mood changes, or the anger for no apparent reason, or telling me that I don't make sense, or the ranting about the same little thing that has been on his mind for a while, the most is the indifference/acting and telling me that he doesn't care. Then later or the next day, being so sorry and so nice. Then when I read the State 1 symptoms, nothing talks about these other things. This is what I am referring to presigns. I read many of them on this site. It seems to me like others encountered these things, some for years, well before they actually considered it could be something like alz. thanks for your site and comments.

Well, yes, it is very common for someone to have odd behaviors for many years before someone realizes that it could be AD. By then, the patient may well be in, let's say, the 3rd stage. Stage 1 is usually 'no symptoms of AD.' Mood changes, anger for no apparent reason, other behaviors you mention are already past stage 1. We know it is confusing, that's the nature of the disease, it is very vague, hard to define and diagnose. What you describe are not 'pre' signs, they are definite signs. It may be AD or something else, a visit to a neurologist who specializes in brain disorders is in order. Good luck. I repeat, it is confusing, but what you describe is really past stage 1. You need a doc, you can't figure this out on your own or rely on those of us in cyber space who have scant medical knowledge and have never seen your husband.

Mary in Montana,
GET HIM TO THE DOCTOR ASAP!!!!!
Please, let us know what happens.
Lisa

I have been reading about the muscle spasms, twitching. I haden't really thought about it much until I read about it. My Husband started about 6 months ago shaking his right leg very fast. almost like when you tap your foot fast yet softly. He always sits with his legs up on the recliner. It involves his entire leg. It might happen once or twice a week and almost always in the evening. I ask him if his leg is ok or if he is nervious and he says he just does it. It seems to happen when he is tired.

Hello, everyone, I'm glad to meet you. My name is Rich Hausler, I live near East Lansing, MI. I was diagnosed with some sort of mental dysfunction based on a neuro-psych test I took in December of 2006 from a man called Dr. Pelon. Frankly, he's not the man for the job, given the fact that he's doing testing a giving bad news all the time and does with no compassion and frankly, with all the picture of bird hunting and his bushy mustouche, he remind too much of the numb/cold rednecks I group up with in the Thumb of Michigan...

Either way, a month later, the chump told me that my verbal quotient was fine, but that I had a cognitive quotient of 90%....Having taken an Welschler(sp?) IQ test in 99, my scores then were 128 verbal, 100 cognitive...Frankly, my cognitive scores on tests such the ACT, SAT AND GMAT WERE ALWAYS IN THE 50TH PERCENTILE....My verbal and other types of scores were in the 90's......

Anyways, my good doctor then sent me to a neuro-psychiatrist named Dr. Roy Meland, a nice guy and smart man...He did a two interview with me with the aid of an asst. psychiatrist from MSU. After that, he ordered me out to MSU for a PET scan. I had already had an MRI, which showed a slightly expanded blood vessel (I do have high blood pressure) but my good primary doctor and the neurosurgeon were not concerned about those MRI findings.

However, as I found in March of last year, the PET SCAN was another thing. I took my brother with me (my wife has been virtually of no help whatsoever, despite having had a mother with Alzheimer's). FYI...my Dad's younger sister and my sweet Aunt Marie, also had early onset dementia...However, because her verbal side stayed for some time and she lived alone in Detroit we did catch until she was in the later part of stage 2 (according to the neuro-psych who tested her). So, golly gee whiz, it obviously runs in the family on my Dad's side, not mention all the mental health disorders on both sides of the family that can be traced back 5 generations or more....(in other words, I come from a family of "whack jobs, addicts and general folks who love "denial.")

Anyways, the Pet Scan showed some damaged in medial parietal lobe (I think that what he said, I have the cd with everthing, but haven't had the guts to look at the gory details myself). He told me,especially based on my family history (i.e. my aunt) that I likely had early onset Alzheimer's. Unlike the asshole who delivered my neuro-pysch test results (excuse my language, but ever since I was 8, I loved to use coarse language, but please let me know if any of you are offended and I cannot promise I will stop use of such language completely, but I'll do my best to be professional).

Anyways, he told me that based on tests and scans, as well as the fact that I've been blessed with having "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome" and Fibromyalgia since I was 18, that I was no longer fit for work and that he was positive that getting a medical retirement and SSDI would be a "slam dunk." He wanted me to quit right then and there....

However, I said, I needed to work a few more months in order that my LTD checks would actually pay a decent wage (I was put on permanent-intermittent status for almost the last 7 years of my career, because of my fatigue problems).

Who knows when I really started to develop this disease....the neuro-psych for my aunt, said based on the test results (she was 67 at the time) he figured she had had this disease since her late 40's.....

With CFS/FIBRO, early symptoms of AD mimic these diseases. In fact, new research indicates that those with CFS/FIBRO (which are not rhuematic or auto-immune diseases,but brain diseases as well) have brains that functions as if they were 20 years older????? Ah, the mysteries of life....

However, I can tell you, the the 2nd neuro-psychologist I worked with at MSU during my prescribed "rehab" therapy, was not sure of what I really have....as he discussed my test scores and saw my scans, but based on the fact that my memory abilities on the n-p test showed memory recall in the 90's and the fact that I improved vastly during occupational therapy, indicated that I did not have dementia, but possibily a series of mini-strokes, that damaged that basal ganglia and part of the prefontal cortext as the tests showed (I could have told them that without the test) that my motivational ability was poor.....as he put, the the fuel system/engine in my brain for getting going was definitely damanged.....

Anyways, Dr. Meland, is positive this is early onset dementia and is progessive, but he did give me or my brother any length of time as to how long I had before this brain rot would impair my ability to even function in the world.....I get another PET scan in June. I let all of you know (if you care) what I find out...I supposed to get another psych test as well, but I'LL wait until after I apply for SSDI.

IT'S Funny....I married a woman who has not interest in learning about disabilities or anything but her own kid (he goes to school in Cincy, OH). In fact, she was glad that I was diagnosed as having early-onset Alzheimer's, as it meant that I would have a much higher likelihood of receiving SSDI, rather than a meager 20K/yr medical retirement pension.....

I married an older woman (she's 59 1/2 and I'm 46). At the time, it seemed like the right the thing to do...I waited a long time, I was almost 37 when tied the knot and it seemed like I had found my soulmate....

Now, she's depressed, angry and constantly snipes and whines about the cleanliness of the house and the odor of the cat litter (we have 3 cats, all of which she got)....I've told her many time, I was raised in "white trash" environment and had learn the basic hygiene rules of this society by myself.....Furthermore, I am a man,who even when I was healthy, was a slob, just like father and mother, and I don't care about being judged negatively by others for how I keep my place....Moreover, I told her, that I get an immediate sense of depression and fatigue just thinking about doing laundry and chores, with the exception of keeping the kitchen clean....

She won't accept it...I have offered many times that we should hire a cleaning lady and take the laundry to the Village Laundromat. It wouldn't cost us that much....and would make her and I a lot happier and cut way down and the daily sniping and fighting (note: she retire last October, contrary to what she told me...she was going to work till 62, until she got a new boss, and decided the woman was a "whack job" and she retired with zero notice.

Oh well, here I ramble on....On better notes, I am returning to my musical roots and have just bought a beautiful, expensive, and luxurious sound Martin 6 string guitar. I plan to take lessons in acoustic string jazz guitar as well buy a friend of mine's acoustic bass (I used to play one in high school, but living in the dead of the Thumb, I had no one to play and gave it up) and learn how to play jazz bass as well...if there are any musicians out there, you know, bass players are always in demand and in short supply....especially ones that aren't drunks or drug addicts.....what can I say, most musicians I have known, are morally bankrupt and emotionally chaotic people......

Well, that's enough blather from me, this has been good therapy and look forward to talking with all of you early onseter's.....I feel like the gay men who find themselves diagnosed with HIV....While I'm healthy enough and retired/out to pasture....it's time to become an AD activist and raise holy hell......I have noticed my temper is getting hotter (I used to be known as emotionally repressed person, according to my family). However, I'm tired of taking for having disabilities and have seen how doctors are more interested in their paychecks, than serving their patients....We all need an advocate...I found this out with my wife, she has just been diagnosed with Asthma that expresses through deep, scrathing, awful coughs.....her former doctors just listened, said nothing was wrong and basically blew her concerns off....

Finally, I went with her, and politely "kicked some doctor ass" insisting on a pulmonary function test and proper medications that I knew would be of help in this process of getting her correctly diagnosed and treated...

Again, at my insistence, I had her make an appt. with my doctor, who actually cares for patients and spent a whole hour with her and me and correctly diagnosed her with asthma and he the first to listen to her lungs and say "they don't sound right, they sound waffling."

This guy is caring, very intellingent, very dedicated and good. Hell, he even wrote up on his computer (everything is digital in his office) a treatment plan for her to follow until he sees her in 2 weeks....

Well, that's enough...my god...I started just taking a survey (that was 6, and now it's 9:10)

good luck and be well
and God Bless ALL OF YOU

Rich Hausler

This is my first posting to this website after reading and reviewing a lot of the information for several months. I am a 59 year old male who has been having various AD symptoms for several years. I had some medical evaluations with my doctor and a neuroligist, physical, MRI, blood work, sleep studies, etc. which were all inconclusive. I made the choice to end the evaluations because I knew it was headed for EOAD since I have two older siblings who came down with it at the same age. They are in the upper stages of AD at this point; one of them has been in this situation for 17 years 11 years of which has been in nursing care and at this point unresponsive. So I have not had the official diagnosis and I have no plans at this point to pursue it. I still have younger children at home and keep a very technical job which I have worked at for most of my life. My wife is fearful of the future but supportive and a good partner in this challenge since she has seen how my siblings have progressed.
I have had all of the symptoms of stage 3 except for not being lost yet. My work is more and more challenging for me to cope with but I must hold on to this position as long as possible in order to be able to support our family. I have had all of the limb pains, twitches, extreme fatigue, depression, mood swings, sleep problems, etc. like many of the postings here. I have always been rather unsocial but now I really don't care to socialize with anyone outside of my own family. I have lately been experiencing many vivid memories from way back in my life, some events in detail that I haven't remembered for years. However more recent things are not remembered and some events are completely blacked out.
I am thankful that there is a board like this to share and want all of you to know that there are others experiencing the same symptoms and challenges. I take supplements everyday but no medications; this seems to help. I can tell because if I lay off the supplements, the difference is significant. I try to reduce stress wherever I can by limiting commitments so that I can concentrate on the most essential tasks. I have gotten very task oriented and can only concentrate on one thing at a time and am not much at planning ahead. Instead of worrying about the condition lately I try to embrace it fully accepting what will come.
My faith will get me through when all else fails.
Good to join you all.

Thank you for what you said Steve59. My husband also has the joint pain, restless sleep, but the thing of most concern are the angry outbursts. I agree that limiting multi-tasking is very helpful. If I need to discuss something, I try to shut the TV off first, etc. In addition to the fatigue and other things that you mentioned, he has pitulity gland tumor (prolactin) that he has been dealing with for 8-10 years. He has been checked many times for Thyroid, fibromyalga (sorry for the bad spelling), lyme and the list goes on. The doctors can't find a thing wrong that would be causing all the symptoms. All tend to have similiar symptoms. It took me a while to identify this as something not related to the other problems. For about 3 years, he has been increasingly withdrawing from his family (sibs and parents). He just can't handle conflict anymore. If I push him into family dinners, he has a couple a bad days afterwards, worrying about if things went well. I know that I need to talk with him and get him to a doctor but, even if he did believe me, he would not want to pursue treatment anyway. He has been stay-at-home since our last child graduated high school in 2000. He wanted to stay home and I had a good job and like to work. He also does some self-contractor work.

To Rich, Steve & Mary,
Wow! All of you have very interesting stories! We're so glad you found us! I still think you should attempt to get a diagnosis! From what I know and understand, medications and certain supplements can really help you stay highly functional for a much longer time!
Good Luck to all!
Please keep us posted on your progress!
Peace and Hope,
Lisa

Mary, Your first request was regarding initial signs of Alz. In my wife's case it was dealing with money. She lost the ability to take change or various moneys and count them to a total. I found that she would buy some cometics even though she had some. Sometimes Alz patients write things down as a memory jogger. There is a simple seven minute cognitive test that your neurologist can administer to see if there is some cognitive decline. Your husbands anger , frustrations are his way of dealing with this terrible desease.He's probrably afraid of what it may be. If the cognitive tests indicate a potential problem there are more intense tests that can be taken and evaluated. Before you get into the MRI's Spect scans etc.The way they determine it's Alz. is to rule out all the other possibilities. I agree with others that going to a good neurogist is a good first step. Good luck and just remember your all not alone.

How on earth do you convinence someone that there might be a problem? I approached the subject this past Sunday following an angry outburst. I waited for him to calm down and then asked if he recalled what happened to cause the outburst. He said that I said something that didn't make sense and that I have been doing this all the time just to upset him. I asked him if he thought there might be a chance that there is something else going on. Something other than the way I say things that might be bringing on these angry feelings in him. I suggested that it might be his current medicines or it might be something that we don't know about yet. He didn't get mad at me for mentioning it but told me that he goes to the doctor enough and why did I think he needed to go more. He said that if he was dying from something that he didn't want to know about it anyway. His latest conversations over the last three days center around the local police having a shoot out with a neighbor several years ago. He tells me that if the police ever come to his house that he will have a shoot out with them also. He even mentioned that he needed to buy more ammo for the event. I still can't believe what I am hearing half the time and think that he is doing it on purpose. I intend to keep making subtle suggestions in the hope that he might pick up on it. I have also been walking away from the out bursts. Not in a rude way but excusing myself so as not to make it worse. I read that this works somewhere and it really does work.

Mary, Acceptance is very hard for anyone and even after my wife was diagnosed she didn't want to talk about it. When I did try she would get upset and breakdown and cry, so we stopped talking about it. It's really scarey to them. They don't feel physically sick but deep down inside they do know things are different. The talk of guns and ammo is reason for concern. Try and find a local Alzheimer Chapter. They have Help hot lines and they may come up with suggestions. Wish I could help more.

Mary: I just made a long post and lost it.

Please check my appeal to Dr. Marilyn Albert at: http://freepage.twoday.net/stories/3038870/

Very important to check for electric and phone equipment near beds and recliners!!!

My own husband's tremors are now completely gone!!!!

Lately many persons are keeping cell phones close to beds and even under pillows. This is an extremely dangerous practice and many children are being affected -- perhaps they are amongst the rapid increases in autism-spectrum disorders. Autism as well as Alzheimers are linked to low levels of melatonin. EMF/EMR lowers melatonin levels.....

Call or email w/questions. Make sure email has a subject I will recognize such as Alzh forum post, EMFs, etc.

Best wishes and take care - Joanne

Mary: I don't know if your DH is hallucinating or if you do have guns in the house, but if you do--GET RID OF THEM NOW. Don't ask him about them, arrange w/some close male friends or family to see that it gets done when he is not around. Then if he looks for the, you can say they were 'stolen.'

Of course your DH is terrified and angry. And it's perfectly natural to be in denial. It's a way to get thru things sometimes. However, this will not go away and his attitudes will change, maybe better, maybe worse. Walking away is a good method, usually works, w/out any comments. Anything you say will only escalate things.

He is not doing any of this on purpose. He'd behave in his normal way if he could. I know it seems that way at times because he can be perfectly lucid from time to time, but he is not doing it on purpose to annoy you.

If you go to the web site below you can read 'What you need to know.' It will help you to understand what he is going thru and how to respond w/less frustration on both your parts. You are doing the best you can.

Bettyhere I went to the website and read "What you need to Know" very helpful.

Hi Mary, I think you make a MD appointment for him and you and you do not discuss it with your husband ahead of time. When you get to the appointment the appointment is for whatever, or if you need to be more specific" its for nerves, or why I keep aggrevating you when I dont mean to". I would fax the doctor a letter with all of your concerns and detailed descriptions of what is going on so that the doctor knows ahead of time what the problems are, and your husband saves face. Medication helps many people in the early stage to think more clearly, and there are other medications for anger and aggitation later on.

Well, we had three really good normal days. This week, we are having bill and money conversations again. When he begins thinking about the bills, the anger moods begin. We have also had two situations this week where he has a really hard counting paper money. Both times involved large and small bills. Yesterday, he received money for snow plowing from two neighbors. One paid with a $20 the other paid with three $5 and five $1. He just could not figure out how to add it all up to $40. He knew there was $40 because they both paid him $20 but he could not count it to reach $40. He had the money laid out on the bed and whenever he got to the $1 bills, things would get confusing. How scary it must be for him. I hope this money phase doesn't last too long. things go pretty good for him (and me), if he doesn't want to talk about or handle the bills and money.

Dear Mary - I just found this site today. I, too, am worried about my husband, who is 53. For the last two years things have been happening. He is very angry, short-tempered, verbally abusive, has trouble sleeping, forgets conversations, and that he has been somewhere before. This doesn't happen every day, but he forgot which toothbrush was his. Says I bought the colors too close together, (One was red, one yellow). Forgot which dog was the female. Has trouble recording programs with DVR, Asked the same question twice within a few minutes, for the first time. Everything I say to him is a criticism. He forgot when his office manager's birthday is, and she's worked for him for 27 years. Siad it was one date, when I said it wasn't, he said "yes it is, then when is it?) I've started writing things down, just in case. I'm more worried than ever after reading these messages. I'm afraid to raise the subject with him, he'll be so upset. What do you think? Am I woorying for nothing, or does it sound as bad to you as it does to me? Any advice would be appreciated.

Dear, Susan C., this is a great site for spouse issues. It is a daily blog from one of the contributors to this site. It also touchs on issues not seen in this issues specifically related to spouses. Lots of reading.

http://thealzheimerspouse.com/

It sure is scary, huh. For the past several years, I thought it was "just" stress, or behavior related to his other medical issues or his medicine. I finally realized about a month ago that there was something else going on. About that time, he started the really bad temper fits over bills and money. The reactions to that and other things was just not right. That's when I did some internet searches and found his symptoms on Alzheimer sites. then I found this site which has been great. Also read, if you haven't already, Susan H. site about her sister. "My sister was diagnosed..." She also has some insites into some of these early symptoms that you and I have been experiencing.

Late yesterday and this morning, before I left for work, he has been having feelings that I am rejecting him. He is talking about moving into the basement bedroom because I don't really want or need him around. This will probably pass in a couple of days. It has been going on for a couple of years but has, only recently, gotten more extreme. I used to cry and get all worked up because I thought he didn't love me anymore or that it was some how my fault. But now I just let it run its course. If he ever really did move into the other bedroom and stayed there forever, I'm not sure how I would handle it. May be I would feel some relef. Take care and hang in there. Above all, don't fight or argue with him, it will only make things much harder for you. I am wondering if you have tried to approach the subject of there being a problem.

Susan: First off, let me echo the advice to go to alzheimerspouse.com. The disease is the same, the meds & the behaviors, but the way it affects a marriage is not the same as a parent/child relationship. Post on both AD boards. Both are very helpful but in different ways.

You don't say if you've been to a doc for your DH, but you must go to one ASAP. If possible find a university or large hospital that has an Alz or Memory Clinic. Not every doc knows anough about these brain conditions to give the best care, a specialist is better most of the time. Everything you mention is quite common for AD behavior, altho it could be something else. Either way, it will worsen and meds may or may not help. You may have to trick him into going to the doc, make up whatever story you think will work and try to get the emphasis off of him. Don't say, 'there's something wrong w/you and you have to see a doc.' It will only make him angry.

To answer your question: Yes, it does sound bad. You are not worrying for nothing, but time to stop just worrying and get to a doc.

If you have not read 'what you need to know' in the web site below, please do so now. It will help you to understand what he is going thru and how you can respond w/less anger and frustration on both your parts. Dealing w/AD is a very difficult life-changing situation. Many things we believed and lived by will not work anymore. It's a learning process for the caregiver/spouse, but it can be done.

Mary and Betty - Thank you for responding to my post. I live in San Diego County now, but used to live in LA County, and go myself to a doctor
at UCLA. I know they have a place there. My son is a grad student at UCLA also, and lives right there. Do you think I should talk to him? I think if I tricked my husband he'd be extremely upset. But I don't really see any way around it. Thank you for the other websites.

I think that eventually I will need to "trick" mine to get him to a doctor. We live in a mid-sized Montana city and probably do not have resources locally. This will make it more difficult for me. Last night, he started out sleeping in the basement bedroom because "I didn't need him bothering me anymore." then at 4:10 a.m., he woke me up and asked if I had been talking to someone. I assured him that I had been sleeping and not talking. He said that voices woke him up and then he saw three people. One was a little girl and they were talking. He told me that they must have been ghosts. (our children and he have seen things over the years and they would call them ghosts). I told him to climb into bed with me and may be he could sleep. He slept good except for a couple of really weard/bad dreams. He has been having bad dreams for a couple of years. This morning he told me that he feels like he is going crazy. I mentioned, again, that may be his medicine is causing the "voices, ghosts and bad dreams." Every time I try to approach the subject, he starts to get agitated, so I dropped the subject. It is really weard because he is having trouble counting money but he can still do carpenter measurements/fractions great.

Hi, we have had a few interesting days. Yesterday, while working in the garage, my husband lost his glasses. He, I and our son looked for almost an hour before he found the glasses on the roof of the truck topper. I thought he was going to cry. He told us that he felt like he was going "nuts" and wondered how we could be so nice to him when he is so crazy. There was absolutuly no anger. Probably because our son was there. We got him a newer cell phone today and he is pretty bothered by it. The ring is too loud and doesn't sound like a phone ringing. I assured him that our son could change the ring for him. This week was the first time he has mentioned that things are not right. I'm hoping that it will lead to him wanting help. We will see.

Mary,

My husband was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Brain Impairment a few months ago. He too has been very tired in the early evening, wanting to sleep, falling asleep watching TV, then waking in the middle of the night. He has been falling asleep driving as well in the afternoons coming home from work. He has not been diagnosed with EOAD.

Mary,

Your husband is showing the same signs as my 39 year old wife. I took her to a doctor after some denial on my part and i learned she was suffering from EOAD. Another symptom I've encountered is that my wife swears up and down we had a conversation and it never took place. Good luck

That's an interesting comment about conversations. This has been happening with us also. When I don't remember a conversation or something that I was asked to do, I'm told that I "wasn't paying attention" or that I just didn't want to do it, or I was ignoring him. He will also feel that he has told me about a conversation that he had with a family member. The family member might ask me if I heard about something and I will say no. I will be told that he told me about it but I forgot.

He had a bad evening again. Got very tired about 7:30 p.m. We had got him a new cell phone (which I mentioned before) and he decided to learn how to use it at 7:45 p.m. By 8:00 p.m., he had himself so worked up and stressed out that he went to bed. At least there was no anger situation this time. I have just been letting him leave for bed rather than trying to make him stay up or having my feelings hurt.

After a pretty good week, we went to Easter Dinner at my in-laws. These get-togethers are usually stressful anyway but lately they are really hard to get through. We get home and my husband is doing the "agressive talking" about family at dinner. Questioning the way this one talks or that one acts. Again saying that none of them like him. Then it becomes "you must not like me either." Then sleeping in the other room so he won't bug me. Nice as pie this morning but still questioning if any one including me likes him. Then I get a phone call at work wondering where I put the truck keys. I told him that I hung them up and they were in the middle of the key board. He finally found the keys but it took a lot of looking. I told him that I was glad I was here to help him. He said that he shouldn't need my help and that if he can't handle things like finding the truck keys in plain site, that I shouldn't have to help him. The last two weeks or so, he has made comments about how he is acting. But, like I said before, if I comment then he stops talking about it. I did suggest that may be he needed to talk with someone since he has been feeling a bit "off." He didn't want to discuss it.

I also wish there were more sites and information related to Early-Onset. Just reading this site has really helped me. Things like not getting mad or feeling bad and crying when he wants to sleep in the other room. and understanding that he is scared and frusturated about not being on top of it anymore. This kind of advice really helps.

Mary!!

It sure is amazing how a small stress, even a good stress, can cause someone with early symptoms to start a really bad eposide.

We have been having legal issues with our son's children and we received positive information yesterday from his lawyer. All the info. did was start my husband's mind going 100 miles an hour and he wore himself out and got all worked up, and confused on the time frame of the events. Then he got mad at me thinking that I told everyone else before I told him, etc. etc.

Today, he has major joint pain, is acting confused, and is not talking rational. Then they get mad at us if we chose to "hide" something from them and they find out about it.

It really is a "no win" situation.

Mary!!

My husband was diagnosed about two year ago. He now cannot read, wright, use the telephone ( he is too slow the operator keeps come in, does not know which utencil to use and doesn't like to watch tv because they talk to fast and cannot keep up with it. My problem is that he thinks he knows all these different people and speaks to them, they look at him as though he is nuts. It hurts me to see this, but he forgets that this happens and just laughs at everything. This is hard.

Mary in Montanna....I don't know...I misplace MY reading glasses...all over the house...if I run down to the basement to put clothes in the dryer..(always in a hurry)..I leave them on the folded jeans above the dryer...takes me a few minutes to realize where I left them...years ago we said we were "absent minded"...or my hubby tells me to "slow down"..I once read an article that said for memory..to NOT leave things in the same place ...("everything in it's place..a place for everything")..switch things around so you have to think where they are..NOT ME...I am very organized..if you take the scissors out of the drawer..put them back...
In my opinion...I always thought (and I am not alone) that jumping to the conclusion that we are experiencing early signs of Dementia/AD is a bit pre-mature..whatever happened to just being absent minded..or disorganized...I had Uncles who were in their 40's and were awful drivers....ALWAYS GOT LOST..now we have car navigators...Is a 25yr.old in early onset AD because they have a poor sense of direction...my hubby gets lost driving to the mall...since he was a young guy he never could follow directions or read a map...so I drive on long trips etc..

According to the 7 stages ...I would be in stage 3!!! ...I bought a ceramic eyeglass dish...it's on my Antique Secretary in the living room...so now I won't misplace them..
It just seems that EVERYONE now is soooooo afraid of "symptoms" that anything having to do with memory loss ...misplacing things...forgetting to pay a bill...getting lost at the mall...we react to this as "oh my God..it's Alzheimer's" A few years ago when I worked at a large Insurance Co..everytime a co-worker was "absent minded"...losing something..they would joke and say..."oh,,you must have OldTimers disease"...and they all would laugh...I never laughed..I didn't think it was funny...
It just seems to me that we over-react a bit...
And if you read my posts..you see how Anti-drugs I am.......over medicating our elderly ...prescribing these anti-pyschotic drugs that have such horrific side effects....
My Mom couldn't sleep so they prescribed generic Ambien..(zolpidem)..I posted this before..I gave her one without my sisters warning me of the side effects..(it was in Mom's medications when she moved to our home)..anyway..I gave her one...within 15mins..I saw my Mom "slipping" away ...she almost looked like a rag doll..her arms went limp..she was fading quickly and went to sleep for 3 hours...I gave her this pill at 11pm..at 2am I heard her yelling from the bedroom..hallucinating...she was sitting on the end of the bed yelling that the little boy was going to fall..(there was a pic of shirley temple she was pointing at)...it was just awful...she tried to get up and walk and I caught her...put her back in bed where I stayed with her until 5am..until she fell asleep..for three more hours I listened to my Mom asking "why are there kids running in the house..who is looking in the window???"..she talked about all the people on the boardwalk..It was just awful...the next day she slept and when she woke up...it was my "Mom" again..she was talking..making great conversation..she had her sense of humor back..she smiled all day ..made jokes..offered to help me cook..clean..I thought this pill took her out of her Dementia..when it fact..it was the opposite..actually when I researched this med..it was similar to the movie "awakenings"..Zolpidem is a POWERFUL drug..my Mom should NEVER have been precribed this..and I was very upset with my 2 sisters for not telling me about this dangerous drug..I also believe that you (or a NH)will give these horrible drugs to our LO and when we visit them...they "appear" to be in Stage 5 or 6 or 7..of course my Mom couldn't dress herself or go to the bathroom without assistance!!! SHe was so drugged..she couldn't do anything...when she was with me..she knew how to take her undergarment down..and wipe herself and dispose the tissue..she knew WHEN she had to pee or poop..she would TELL me..however..when she was "sedated"...it was impossible to do any task...When I thought this pill would help her sleep ..and give me a few hours of rest as well...I was wrong....I called my sisters and yelled at them...why didn't they warn me or take this medication so I would not give it to her...they denied this happened..I do not believe them...I recall one day my sis became so upset thinking my Mom was having a stroke she rushed her to the emergency ward...I talked to my Mom from the hospital that night..her words were "slurred" however she said to me that "something" happened and she is in the hospital "..they released her the same night...and now I KNOW..she gave her Zolpidem..and it was the adverse reaction to this drug that made my Mom hallucinate...not Dementia or AD.....it was the DRUG...my Heart Aches for my Mom..and for any elderly patient who has to be almost treated like a "guniea pig"..with these awful drugs..ie:Namenda/Aricept to name 2....
So you see...my point has always been...while observing my Mom for the past 3years....is "what if it isn't Alzheimer's" (there is a great book out with that title...amazon.com..).my Mom left NJ in May of 2005 and came back in December a walking ZOMBIE...I knew she was medicated..she appeared to be in a "drug induced stupor"....her "symptoms" all sounded like the adverse side effects from these meds..
I'm not saying that she suffers now from Dementia....(from 3 falls and mini-strokes)
But I would NEVER accept that she has Alzheimer's because when I stopped giving her Seroqeul..Mirtazapine...this awful drug Xanax..and the drugs she took for "depression"..memory loss...really..how does a pill help with memory loss...I would think hands on therapy...alot of repeated exercises..a healthy diet..exercise...constant talking to and testing memory..and a loving home..which is what I gave my Mom...
I believe the 2yrs. of overmedicating just made her worse...
And now??? she is in a NH...actually doing quite well!!! She looks wonderful!!!! It has been 3 weeks and I have never seen her medicated to the point of sedation...she is alert..makes eye contact..and talks to me...but yes..sadly she forgets 10minutes later...so I go over everything again..and again..and again..or I switch topics...I am fighting the POA..trying to get my Mom home...

We all are aging..I am a "young" 56..my hubby is a "young" 70 (he looks 50!!) we try to keep busy...read..do crossword puzzles and name games..play alot of solitare on the computer...eat healthy..no sugar..alot of fruits and veggies..no red meat..alot of fish....take long walks...gardening..and if I do misplace my reading glasses...or he forgets where he put HIS Cell phone...I just politely locate them...and say "here it is...let's put them back where they belong"....he has NEVER misplaced car keys..he keeps them in the SAME location every night...I am the one who misplaces car keys...I would start really worrying if I put my car keys in the freezer...then I would get upset..leaving your keys on the hood of your car..then forgetting them isn't so awful...it's just a place where he NEVER left them before..so he couldn't find them....it was a silly mistake...
Take a deep breath and relax...then try to organize things around the house....make designated places for keys..and cell phones...and eyeglasses etc....we did!!!!! it helps....take care

Dear BenBas:

You are sooooo lucky that all you have going on with your DH and yourself are misplaced items. It doesn't sound like either of you are living with a sometimes angry stranger who will "flip out" over anything and nothing and then blame it all on you. "You looked at him funny." "you forgot to tell him something important." "You told everyone else first." "You didn't jump fast enough." People dealing with these really weird things in their life, with their marrage and with their spouse, understand where I'm cuming from and how this works. Only someone living with a spouse with this "stuff" can truly understand what we are experiencing. You said "In my opinion...I always thought (and I am not alone) that jumping to the conclusion that we are experiencing early signs of Dementia/AD is a bit pre-mature..." If your situation is only occasional forgetfullness, you are so very lucky.

I enjoyed your comments about the glasses. My glasses never leave my face. Have never lost them or misplaced them, not even once. My DH glasses end up almost everywhere. So far not in the freezer. Although we have found them in the toothbrush cupboard, on the top of the truck in the garage, in the sock drawer. And this is only the glasses. You would not believe where we found boxes of Mac and Cheese when he helped put it away.

Enjoy your spouse and let him enjoy you while you have the health to laugh together about these "oldertimers" happenings. I can no longer laugh with mine. He usually takes offience to any attempt by me to joke around and gets angry. And try for a conversation about something. Don't even start. It always opens you up for a problem.

Mary!!

I agree with alot of the comments posted about early signs. Unfortunately I am one of those wives that kept making excuses for my husbands behavior and memory issues. He ws diagnosed with EOAD in November but has had signs for about 2 years. He was diagnosed back then with depression due to no longer working for himsself as a plumber and having to work for a company. He got and lost 10 jobs in 2 years, always blaming it on his coworkers accusing him of being too slow or too old, he's now only 52.
My grown children kept saying "dad isn't quite right", always getting things mixed up asking same questions over and over. Forgetting where he put things, not sure what day it was.
I have to thank the last boss my husband had because if it wasn't for him I'd probably still be making excuses for his behavior. He pointed out that he needed help and his forgetfulness and disorientation was not normal. Sad that it took a stranger to wake me up.

Since his diagnosis, he gets very frustrated and thinks he is just stupid, and although he is in early stage, has become very dependant on me. I have to work full time to support us because SS has not given us a decision. I never thought we"d be going through all of this at uour age. We have been married for 30 years, our children are 28 and 26 and we have a grandbaby 19 months old. It takes lots of love/patience/mercy to cope. Even our long time dear friends don't know what to say or do...promoting lonliness for him and me.

He gets so mixed up when he wants to tell a story and gets aggravated to the point where he doesn't talk. When I am home, he wants to be with me and sits and waits for me to get home in the evening. If I want to go off alone he gets sulky...like a big kid.

Feels good to vent.....

Mary get him to a Nuerologist ASAP!!!

It was so good to read all of these postings. My hubby is 57. I have been dealing with his "memory quirks" for a couple of years. This past year our friends finally approached me, telling me that something is wrong with DH. When you aren't the only one noticing, it is more real. I did TRICK him into going to a psychologist. I told him I was going to discuss my concerns about him and my depression. The dr convinced him to take the Alz testing to show me that nothing is wrong with him. He knows he has problems but doesn't see them as a concern other than natural aging. He gets confused when multitasking as well. Using a cell phone, setting the vcr, putting in hearing aid batteries....many little things he never even thought about before doing he now spends a long time doing and getting frustrated with. He did tell me awhile back that he no longer wants to fix things around the house as once he gets something torn apart he can't remember how to put it back together again. He is retired from a 27 year career in human resources so he doesn't have the opportunity to "use his mind" as much and thinks that is the reason he is absent minded.

Good luck to you all and thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I feel like I have a new place to go now so I am not feeling quite so alone.
Sheila

It really helps to hear from you folks who understand that this weird stuff is not normal.

We had a really bad week. I had been hiding some financial things from DH because he just can't handle it and gets really mad. Well, he pushed and pushed and was seeming to be having a rational day so I told him about it. I had hid my bonus and our tax refund from him and used it for household expenses. He had told me a couple of months ago that he wanted to put it all on a charge card which was a good idea but it needed to go other places.

That was a really bad evening but we came out the other end in one piece. I left for the evening and he wanted to patch things up and work it out when I came home.

Sunday morning when both of our kids (boy 28/ girl 25) and their four little ones were over for breakfast, he knocked a butter knife on the floor with his enbow, which was no big deal. He picked it up and threw it across the kitchen and swore. Our daughter was standing in the kitchen and hollered, "Dad what in the heck is going on." He started crying and said that he didn't know why he did that and to please not be mad at him. She asked what we could do to help and he said "just love me and don't get mad at me."

Right now, his biggest problem is keeping his cool. The harder he tries the more tired he gets and the harder it is to keep it together.

He was entering numbers into the calculator and a number like 5004. Kept coming out 5..4. He kept using the period for the zero. then he got mad and threw the calculator. Then he cried and appologized.

this morning, I got out of bed and told him three times before I left the room that I was going to plug the coffee pot in and then cuddle for a few minutes before I got up for work. After we cuddled for 10 minutes and I got out of bed, he said, "darn, I should have gotten up and plugged the pot in, I know you like your coffee when you're getting dressed." I told him that I already did and he asked why I didn't tell him. So, I have two choices, lie and say sorry, or I tell him I did three times and make him mad. A visious circle.

He knows there is a problem but thinks it is stress-caused and that when he gets our bills all worked out that he will be fine. So here we go for a couple of more months without doing any thing.

Take care, Mary!!

I started this Dicussion because I had found/noticed many strange things happening with my DH and did not have answers. I found through these postings that Stage 1 AD is considered "no symptions yet." So I think I will label this stage which can last for many many years with our spouses Stage 1.a.

This unusual stage for early-onset needs to be called something. Our young spouses still have many capabilities and for the most part are perfectly normal. they still drive, many/most still work, they still function quite well, however, they are changing and most act out for no apparent reason and at times can be rather scarry to live with.

I have also started a discussion on Joan's http://thealzheimerspouse.com/ related to pre-signs of early-onset. There is an ongoing discussion on Joan's Page about AD spouses who want to divorse us because it will solve their problems. This is very related.

If you get a chance to read these discusions and my new thread, please do so. For those of you with early-onset spouses, it is so important for you to know that you are not alone and these really weird things are happening to many of us. It has helped me in the two-plus months that I found these two sites to understand how to manage through this difficult time.

Mood changes, unusual anger and outbursts, wanting a divorse, not remembering conversations, location of eye glasses, unable to run TV controler, calculator, unable to count some money, not able to handle anything stressful or needing a decision, unable to remember instructions, unable to anticipate what needs to be done next, taking apart something to fix it and unable to remember how it goes back together. I'm sure there is much more that I have forgotten. Not remembering to turn on coffee pot, wash machine, not remembering to continue with the next step in a series like going to the next channel while TV channel surfing.

AND it being our fault most of the time. You are not listening, you did not tell me that, I would be fine if you didn't cause me so much stress, why did you look at me that way, are you looking for a fight or something, don't treat me like a baby-I can do it myself, how come you never help me when I need help.

I'm 51 and have been married for 32 years next month. My DH is 54. We have been dating for almost 36 years. I feel like I am dating again because this is a different person from day to day.

my oh my, what a challange.

Mary!! in Montana

I wanted to add one more thing. For those of you who are the spouse with early-on set, I truly understand the struggle you are going through and how scarry it must be for you. MY DH and I know that something is wrong we just don't agree on what the problem is. We are trying very hard to be supportive of each other. He immediately appologizes when there is an outburst and a fight. I only hope that he will allow me to get him evaluated some day, so that he has the chance to get help. I don't want any of the spouses to feel from my posts that I am putting you down. That is not my intent and I hope that I do not come across that way. I am just looking to find information and the medical community does not have any yet.

Mary!!