Hi everybody,
I'm a new member. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer about 2 years ago (we suspected that something was wrong way before that, but he just refused to see a doctor). He's 65 years old now. His doctor told him this week that he should stop working and try to find a new activity for him to do. My father didn't really pay attention to the doctor, and he doesn't listen to my mom, my brother, or me.
My father is a medical doctor, so we're all very concerned that he might do something at work that might damage somebody.
We are very lost and don't know how to handle the situation. My father has always been the "head" of the family and he always took care of all of us. It's really difficult for him to accept that he has to stop working, driving, and has to start depending on other people. He is still in the first stages of the disease, but it's really difficult to talk to him and we don't know what to do anymore. We can't find anything for him to do instead of work, because all volunteer jobs that we can think of are either very cognitively challenging (which makes him anxious) or non-interesting to him.
We love him very much! We don't want to hurt him by just going ahead and closing his practice, but at the same time we're concerned about what the consequences of not closing it soon might be. Also, I think that if he stops working all of sudden, without having any other activity, will probably worsen the disease and bring depression.
Any suggestions/comments/support will be very appreciated
Thanks!
Luciana.

The amount of insight we have into our disease can vary greatly. Sure, from person to person, but also from day to day, and subject to subject. My concern is that your dad might make a prescription error or something that hurts a patient, before he works through his denial.

Is there any way his recent medical decisions could be reviewed by another doctor? Perhaps his work is an island of clarity, or perhaps he's messing up frequently, how could we know?

If he is a danger to patients and won't quit, then talk to another doctor you trust about steps to take.

I was having problems at work over a year before being forced out. My heart breaks for your father, and the pain that lies in his near future.

Thanks for your reply, Alan. I'm not sure how we could have his work be reviewed by another doctor --- he wouldn't let us do that.
The only solution I could think of is to ask the secretary to stop scheduling appointments... but I feel like I'm betraying my father if I do that. I'm not sure if it makes sense to you. At the same time, if something happens to him or any patient, I won't forgive myself.
I think my family and I are more concerned about this issue than my father's doctor. Only this week, the doctor told my father that he should slowly stop working and find something else to do. However, he didn't set any deadlines or anything like that. Maybe we're worrying too much? I don't know... but that the fact that my father forgets things frequently tells me that we are responsible for doing something about this situation.
Thank you again for your message. It's great to feel that we're not alone.
Luciana.

Thanks for your reply, Alan. I'm not sure how we could have his work be reviewed by another doctor --- he wouldn't let us do that.
The only solution I could think of is to ask the secretary to stop scheduling appointments... but I feel like I'm betraying my father if I do that. I'm not sure if it makes sense to you. At the same time, if something happens to him or any patient, I won't forgive myself.
I think my family and I are more concerned about this issue than my father's doctor. Only this week, the doctor told my father that he should slowly stop working and find something else to do. However, he didn't set any deadlines or anything like that. Maybe we're worrying too much? I don't know... but that the fact that my father forgets things frequently and doesn't seem to be aware of many things that happen around him tells me that we are responsible for doing something about this situation.
Thank you again for your message. It's great to feel that we're not alone.
Luciana.

Thanks for your reply, Alan. I'm not sure how we could have his work be reviewed by another doctor --- he wouldn't let us do that.
The only solution I could think of is to ask the secretary to stop scheduling appointments... but I feel like I'm betraying my father if I do that. I'm not sure if it makes sense to you. At the same time, if something happens to him or any patient, I won't forgive myself.
I think my family and I are more concerned about this issue than my father's doctor. Only this week, the doctor told my father that he should slowly stop working and find something else to do. However, he didn't set any deadlines or anything like that. Maybe we're worrying too much? I don't know... but that the fact that my father forgets things frequently tells me that we are responsible for doing something about this situation.
Thank you again for your message. It's great to feel that we're not alone.
Luciana.

Luciana,
Hello and welcome. I'm sorry for what brings you here. You are facing a very difficult situation! First, I would have a family meeting with your father's doctor. You are right to be VERY concerned about your father being a doctor. Your father could do GREAT harm to someone else! If it is true that your father suffers with dementia, I think it is probably unethical and illegal for him to continue practicing medicine. I would, also, consult an attorney. All dementias are horrible to accept and live with. Your Father has been the Patriarch of the family for a long time. Perhaps you and your family can make the process a little easier. Please contact your local Alz Assn for support and assistance. Maybe they can help with opening up communications between you Dad and the family!

Good Luck

Please, let us know how you are doing.

Peace and Hope,

Hi Lisa,
Thanks for your message. I'll follow your advice. The doctor says that, according to the clinical exams he's doing with my father, his capability of working is still ok (although he says he should stop slowly). I (and my family) don't feel this way, though ---- but I'm not sure if we're overreacting ---- so, the situation is even more tricky.
Thanks again for your support!
Luciana.

If you dad should not work, then he needs to stop working as an MD. The potential for a minor slip in memory to cause someone great harm is just too much. Contact the medical society they should have a board for impaired MDs and report him. I would expect them to investigate and limit his practice or to take his lisence. If you are near a major city I wonder if he can volunteer at the local medical school. Students need to learn how to talk to patients, and how to interview them, and conduct a basic physical exam and these are skillls that your dad will probably retain for a long time.

Think of the repercusions if he harms someone.They couls sue him for everything he has & get it...

Luciana,

I agree with SnowyLynne. In my sister's case it's driving. The person who facilitates the support group explained that if she should drive (and she's been instructed to stop driving) and she has an accident and hurts or kills someone else, they could sue and my brother-in-law could/would lose everything.

I don't think it would be a betrayal for you to ask your father's secretary to stop scheduling patients. I would think of it as a way to protect your father and ultimately your family. You didn't mention your mom, so I'm assuming she's not in the picture, but if she is then you need to protect her also.

Hi everybody,
Thanks for your messages. I guess you're right. I'll talk to my mom and my brother and see how we can talk to the secretary and ask her to stop scheduling appointments asap.
My mom is very sad and she also doesn't know the best way to handle the situation. She's the one who is with my dad every day, so she is tired and a little depressed. Maybe denial is one of the first stages of the disease? My father honestly doesn't feel like he is having any problems. This situation makes it more challenging to deal with him because he won't ask for help.
Thanks again!
Luciana.