More about your distructing behavior? I know I'm not spelling things right but curious. Years ago I met a women who was clearly well advanced with AD.
My GF at the time was taking care of her GR. She cussed like a trooper which my GF said was so out of cartiture (again sp)
But to get back to the point Alan, what sets you off to get so combatted? You give alot of us good advise but I'd like to know how you are doing and why men feel compelled to battleing and hitting?
I'm sorry, but I just feel at this moment you have a rage with anger that won't go away.
Am I right?
Marcia

Marcia, thanks for asking such penetrating questions. I'll try to make good sense.

The first thing to make clear is that I'm much better, fantastically better, as long as I keep Seroquel in my system. Equally clear, let me admit that it isn't a matter of something setting me off. When I'm rested and medicated, I'm pretty much the same patient, humorous person I've always been. When I'm otherwise, the fire starts burning before there's any fuel - my anger and paranoia rise without any outside cause.

Not that my pre-AD self didn't get angry, or avoided arguments. But AD makes things totally different.

And yes, men have aggression traits that are to some extent biologically determined. But, by no means are men the only gender that gets aggressive with AD. Then there's the matter of who makes a bigger impression, the 85 y.o., frail woman in a NH with anger issues, or the strong, relatively young, man.

I don't get combative at this point, I get paranoid and argumentative and profane. Maybe a year ago, there would still be some small part of me that knew I was wrong. That part disappeared this Spring.

And I really appreciate your being concerned enough to fear I "have a rage with anger that won't go away." Most of the time I'm fairly content, all things considered. It may not be an issue at all, if I could miraculously get over my insomnia problem. My medication schedule is all messed up because of that.

How's the answer so far? More questions? Also, if I may ask, do you have anger issues I've reminded you of, or perhaps I remind you of an angry man you've known?

You've explained it quite nicely Alan,... thank you. The other nite when I posted I guess I was feeling like you've told us lots of times of anger issues. But your right, it happens with both genders.
As it did with me at a family function a month ago.
And no, you don't remind me of anyone in my past. Quite the opposite Alan, I enjoy emailing you!
Hugs,
Marcia

Hugs back to you! I think I talk about anger a lot because it's the single thing that worries me the most. If it keeps getting stronger, eventually the doctors will run out of medicine to keep me calm, and I'll have to be put away.

The main reasons we have to go to nursing homes are insomnia and rage, and I have both. That bothers me, a lot. So I talk about it a lot.

I'm sorry your anger erupted at a family function last month. Did you do any lasting damage?

I keep hearing about the Seroquel, but I am on the Lamictal right now and my doc says I need to give it a chance.

Okay, not so much "anger" anymore as "emotion".

In church this morning, I had to excuse myself because a particular hymn caused me to choke up.

This also happens with certain Johnny Cash songs I sing and play on the guitar.

One of these is a tune called "Legend In My Time". I just cannot get through that one without squawlin' like a baby.

Anybody remember Vicki Carr? She had that same problem!

My voice teacher once told me it was inexcusable and the "height of arrogance/selfishness" to allow that to happen, and for my audience to have to endure it.

So I avoid that one.

But to get back to the subject, it's emotion with me. But it doesn't display itself in anger (any more).

Bill

Bill,

There can be a big difference between anger and crying. Lability (crying, laughter, smiling) are involuntary responses from a different part of the brain than anger. Some anti-depressants (amitryptiline, trazadone and fluoxetine are mentioned) can help with both anger and lability.

There are no direct references to medication to control lability. As lability is not usually grossly disruptive like anger, learning to cope with it would be an acceptable solution to many.

I have experienced excessive lability for quite few years. Women tend to be less concerned than men. We tend to think is is a sign of weakness.

In my view, your voice teacher was over-stating the case. It would be part of a professional's skill set to learn to control it, but not to the extreme that you should feel guilty.

She sounds arrogant to me.

So, go ahead and cry if the situation allows. It has some beneficial effects on the body.

Anger rarely has any beneficial results. Those of us who struggle with anger can attest to this.

Thank you Mark, I didn't know the term, and thought you'd forgotten an "i" at first glance.

When I was learning the tune, it was during the time of his jaw cancer, and I was reacting to the pain he must have felt and was empathizing, or so I thought.

But you know? I think I do need a little bit of extra help in not being such a raw, exposed nerve, and will mention it during my next session with my psychiatrist.

Thanks

Bill

Mark, great response! You're more on top of this stuff than I am, buddy.

Bill, what your music teacher said about not crying while singing? That's generally true, for most performers. Even there, we make exceptions, like for singers during the last verse and refrain of "Where've You Been?" Or, someone singing a tribute to a recently departed loved one.

And by "performers," I mean people that we pay money to see. I used to be a performer, but that's way behind me now.

You and me? If we want to cry when we sing Johnny Cash, that's our business. Heck, there are a few songs I haven't finished singing in probably 2 years, I get too choked up to finish.

As for Lamictal, it's a mood stabilizer, been around a fairly long time. Whether or not it'll help depends on the underlying mechanism that's causing your mood concerns. It does you no harm to give it a good try, and I hope it helps.