Alzheimer’s Association Online Community
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My husband has just been diagnosed with Alzhimers after years of searching for an answer to his deterioration of movement, memory, depression, and quality of life. Because he suffers from low self esteem (he has had to leave his part-time jobs because he just couldn't function) I am fearful of telling him because he has threaten suicide in the past... Can anyone give me some suggestions of how I can tell him or do you suggest that I have a professional (maybe the doctor) tell him. Help!
JoAnne Winkler Wheaton, IL |
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How old is your husband? I am a 57 yr old EOAD patient. It took several yrs. for my diagnosis due to my age & doctors that just push me off if they can't find a the cause of the many symptons & just say see a pschologist or pychiatrist there is nothing wrong you are just nuts. I was just about in the place where your husband is now but after the diagnosis I was not happy with the diagnosis of AD but just relieved that it was not mental but a physical problem & finally could get some answers & start working on getting me better. When his Alz meds kicks it hopefully he will get better & you really need to stress to the dr. about his suicidal thoughts & there is also meds to help him get through this tough time. Also, contact the nearest Alz Assoc. for help & see if there are support groups for you as caregiver & for him to be able to vent his frustrations with disease. This web site is also a good place to get support & good people who can relate & understand. Remember AD is a disease of the brain & it affects people differently & it is the disease causing a lot of his frustrations. Keep in touch & let us hear how things are going. There are people who care & will listen when you feel a need to vent. The caregiver's forum is a good place for you to get great support. Your husband (if he is able) would benefit greatly from AD forum. |
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Thank you so much for your wonderful insight into this illness and we can really relate to the frustration of finding a diagnosis. It took us almost 6 years to get to this point.
My husband is 69 years old and as you discribe we went from physicians to nuerologists, to pychiatrists when at last after calling every place I could find I finally found someone who did an evaluation that put the pieces together. This past weekend he beg me to tell him what was wrong....and as you indicated he seem upset but relieved to finally know that he was not going crazy and that it wasn't his fault. I have told the doctor about his suicidial tenancies but honestly I think he is now interested in trying to feel better and take his meds. Thanks again for your feed back. My next steps are to seek out some support from a local group that can help me do the best job of caregiving.
JoAnne Winkler Wheaton, IL |
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JoAnn: I was so glad to hear from you and glad that you told your husband. Please give updates about his progress and let us know if we can help with any questions or frustrations you or your husband might have. Try to keep him motivated and his mind stimulated as much as possible. If he tells you he is very tired he probably is right. Fatigue is one of the most frustrating things caused by AD. There is nothing that can be done but plenty of rest. Take care & please keep us informed. Sandy
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I have known about my husband's (age 63) diagnosis for a year, but only told him this past week because he was put on Aricept. He knew he had "memory problems" and, after we had a long cry together, seems more at peace. We are a blended family, and my children, whom he raised, have known and accepted it all along. His children, whom we raised ala Brady Bunch, knew but refused to acknowlege. I have learned to email all of them each time there is a change, so that his kids will be notified in writing and not make trouble. His youngest is raising a stink about Aricept and his oldest hasn't called him in months. My husband knows that there is trouble brewing, and is very happy with the love my children give him.
Jacque |
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For our family my father's diagnosis was, of course, sad but I thank God every day that we got it. We searched for years for a reason for his behavior but no one was willing to hand down a diagnosis of Alzheimer's to someone in his late forties. After the diagnosis, there was a sense of understanding, of healing, and of forgiveness. His actions were suddenly understood and the tension was released.
Keep in touch. Let us know how things are going. Rachel |
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