Posted September 26, 2009 05:01 PM
I am coming to the part of the disease where I am needing a purpose. You see I was turned down for Peer Volunteer because i am not on here often enough according to my yearly posts. If I had been given the position, it would have given me purpose and I would have been here daily. Now it is only when comes to mind. It hurt alittle bit that this whole thing was my idea 2 years ago and I have not even been given chance to be apart of it. I know that I am still a peer, just without the title. I just needed alittle something extra to add to my resume . I do have another purpose and that is my son, but I have come to a point that when he is gone to school I have no other interests, just get my house work done and nap until he comes home. I am becoming less conversation savy to my husband daily and my interest of hobbies have gone out the window. I don't even like to color anymore and I use to love that. I have to force myself to go outside and do things that need to be done. I think that God using me for the purpose of a young one on this journey may be coming to a halt and I am about to enter another phase of the journey. I just hope if that is the case, I have done the first part of the journey well by helping others along the way.

Tracy

Dear Tracy,
I don't think you need a title to be helpful. I am so inspired by you and everyone else that comes here and shares their life with all of us. Please hang in there -- I can't imagine what you are going through and I wish I could just give you a big hug! You are the same age as my youngest daughter.
XOXO Ruth

Tracy, dear-we are all seeking life's purpose for us. You are such an inspiration for us that a title has not yet been created. Please don't feel slighted and please stay with us.

Oh believe me you have purpose! You share your story, you help us, you inspire us, you help to educate us.

Tracy, your life definately has purpose. You demonstrate it all the time. Hang in there. Your slump may just be that... a slump. We all go through those. Please continue to share and inspire us all.

Mari

I don't look at anyone's posts differently if they have a title next to their name or not. It doesn't make any difference to me. Everyone here has a valuable contribution to make. The peer volunteers are great, but no more or less so than anyone else who posts here.
Maybe you could speak with your doctor about this? Maybe your meds could be augmented or something?
Anyway, I hope you will continue to post here.

quote:

Originally posted by Marjk:
Oh believe me you have purpose! You share your story, you help us, you inspire us, you help to educate us.

Marjk, you are right I DO have purpose, it sometimes takes someone else opening their eyes to see it......THANK YOU! I do feel that I am in a slump though but it is getting worse over the last couple of weeks. Thanks to all of you for your comments.

Tracy

Tracy,

You have done more for people (on AND off this site) than you can even imagine. Your words and determination to be a voice for this horrible disease have helped so many people. I have shared the knowledge you have offered me over the last year with so many people. Your book has been passed around and read through my family and friends. Your courage is such an inspiration to all of us. You are Young Hope!!!!! Let us be there for you as you have been there for us.

I'll give you a title. Nice Human Being. That should suffice, shouldn't it? --Jim

All of you are right, the title isn't important and I shouldn't let it bother me. I am however lost in knowing what to do besides housework and napping and reading my bible. I do spend time with my son when he is home from school but when he is gone I am so lost. I even have a job volunteering 2 days a week for a couple of hours in a nursing home but I don't even like it and it is hard to make myself stay there. As for writing another book, well that isn't easy any more either because I only write short paragraphs as these posts and that is about my limit.

Tracy

I might be totally off with this suggestion, but do you like pets? My dog gives me tremendous purpose. He's someone that I have to take care of and walk, he's the best company and he loves me unconditionally. A dog is something that you AND your son can take care of together, but the dog will keep you company while your son is in school.

Dearest Tracy,

Your screen name is your title: Young Hope.

I have always loved that name. It always gives my spirits a lift, just seeing it.

Don't you know how much hope you give our members, that receiving a diagnosis doesn't mean the end of the world? You have done so much, been so active, made so many contributions -- you are such an inspiration and source of courage to us all!

We don't look for posts by people with official logos, we look for posts by people we love and admire. It's a great day when I find a post by you ... it's a little bit empty when you haven't been here to talk to us.

You can do everything a peer volunteer does without being given the official title.

In fact, I think posts by people who are not peer volunteers may be more meaningful to our members. They are "doing their job", it is an obligation. You are posting because you want to, because you care.

Please don't let us down.

Marjk, thanks for the pet idea but I have 3 inside cats and one is my shadow.

JAB, thanks for your encouraging & supportive words. I will come back, I am just in a lull right now.

Tracy

Tracy,
Your book has touched many many lives. I ordered several copies of it and handed it out to family and friends.
You have been an inspiration and encouragement.
It sounds like you are feeling rejected, which always hurts. With or without the title come here and know that you have a purpose.

Tracy, I hope you will print this thread and hold it next to your heart whenever you feel you have no purpose. There is not one person on this forum or the others where you post that you have not inspired to be better and to try harder. You are the epitome of strength and wisdom tempered with grace and gentleness. We need you, Tracy. It's just as simple as that.