I will be careful & will make this as short as possible, so as not to be banned from this site....

The particular Hospice with whom we had to deal is a murderous group. I do not say that lightly.

Reader's Digest Version: Hospice RN said exMIL (Maggie) has "Super Infection" & would die within 2 weeks. We HAD to get her outta this guy's clutches, outta Board&Care, & into SNF. We needed 3 days in acute hospital to (hopefully) give us up to 100 days paid by insurance.

B*stard RN from Hospice told me I was killing her when I told him he & his associates were fired. I told him, well, forget what I told him...not able to repeat it here...

7 hours in ER - MD's report: slight UTI, malnutrition, & dehydration. Made the comment that her blood work looked "better than his". Had to beg for overnight stay - no 3 days cause she's too healthy. Fine. Disharge MD (different doc) told us he doesn't want to see her again because of her age & diagnosis (78 - AD). I told him about where the sun don't shine &, never mind, can't say that either...

2 weeks in SNF - she's eating like there's no tomorrow - B*stard Hospice RN said she "refused food". HOGWASH! I read his notes (obtaining hard copies is yet another hardship that I can't explain with clean language, so...). This idiot had been giving her TWO antidepressants PLUS Risperdol. PLUS morphine drops - are you KIDDING ME??!! She was so zonked she couldn't eat. Since at the SNF without those drugs, she finishes 95% of every meal!. She lost 40 lbs under this idiot.

Yes, those who know me are not surprised that I am turning in everyone I can think of to every agency I can find. Her regular MD, ER discharge MD, this particular Hospice in general, the B*stard Hospice RN in particluar, & the Board&Care.

SNF costs $7200 a month - absurd. But better than where she was at.

I'm trying to be as clean as possible with what I say. But "I'll Be Back" doesn't EVEN explain where I'm at - how DARE they abuse her! In the name of medicine!!!

OK, I'm done - will try to be better about updates. Hopefully, those updates include my own, chemo & radiation are done, PET scans are clean, hair is growing back - but insurance fights are delaying my colostomy reversal...&^%$#@!.

Thank God for Oliver & his feline roommates...now, if I can just locate 2 purebred German Shepard puppies, I'll be fine...after a drink...or 3...I hate AD!

OK, I'm done - & mighty proud I didn't use one swear word! Any suggestions &/or direction would be greatly appreciated - don't know what I'd do without your help....

Who initiated the hospice? What preceeded the decison?

Hiya ALM,

The Board&Care called in Hospice 3 months ago, telling us it was for "their accreditation".

Turns out they lied - Maggie really needed to be in SNF. But this particular Hospice has a Nurse from He!! that should ONLY work for Dr. Kevorkian. Even when I asked for a female nurse, I was turned down. This is all so sad...

Shows you how STUPID I am - I took Oliver in for a visit & he hissed at this RN from He!! - in 13 years, this cat hasn't hissed at anything except a river rat going down a storm drain. I should have lsitened to him more...

quote:

Originally posted by Oliver's mama:
Hiya ALM,

The Board&Care called in Hospice 3 months ago, telling us it was for "their accreditation".

Turns out they lied - Maggie really needed to be in SNF. But this particular Hospice has a Nurse from He!! that should ONLY work for Dr. Kevorkian. Even when I asked for a female nurse, I was turned down. This is all so sad...

Shows you how STUPID I am - I took Oliver in for a visit & he hissed at this RN from He!! - in 13 years, this cat hasn't hissed at anything except a river rat going down a storm drain. I should have lsitened to him more...

You weren't stupid...you were just too trusthing. We have so many things on our plate, we have to trust someone. But it's like when you take your car in...you don't always know enough to decipher the truth...so you do the best you can.

Holy smokes! What an ordeal! I pray someone listens to you Becky to get that piece of work out of the medical business before somebody DOES die on his watch that didn't need to. You've got a lot of fight in you so don't give up until someone hears you. You could be saving other's lifes here.
Hope this next week brings some calm with it for you -

quote:

Originally posted by Oliver's mama:
Hiya ALM,

The Board&Care called in Hospice 3 months ago, telling us it was for "their accreditation".

Turns out they lied - Maggie really needed to be in SNF. But this particular Hospice has a Nurse from He!! that should ONLY work for Dr. Kevorkian. Even when I asked for a female nurse, I was turned down. This is all so sad...

Shows you how STUPID I am - I took Oliver in for a visit & he hissed at this RN from He!! - in 13 years, this cat hasn't hissed at anything except a river rat going down a storm drain. I should have lsitened to him more...

Wow! What a nightmare! I'm glad you are turning those monsters in. They are supposed to be helping people, not killing them. I also would like to give your furry kid a big pet. I have 2 furry kids myself and they know good from bad people.

OMG,,,how awful! You betcha,,there are some "good Hospice" and there are some "Hospice from Hell". So sorry that you had to have to endure the latter one!

You keep on advocating and doing what you feel is best,,and get her placed someplace else where the nurse at the facility doesn't have the say in her needs and care so much.

And also,,take care of you,,,and I know all about fighting with insurance companies for needed proceedures,,,I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted. Peace

OMG! HOW HORRIBLE! I'm so sorry to hear this. I've been involved with hospice twice in my life. My previous husband with pancreas cancer at home. and my Dad in a coma at a beautiful facility. Everyone, that I met in both incidents were angels. LOL Except 1, the first nurse that came. I fired her on the spot as soon as she came through the door with an attitude. DANG! She couldn't even speak english. Felt good to tell her to GET TF OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NEVER COME BACK.
Please don't let this incident make you fell all hospices are like that because they're not. I pray you find a good facility for if and when you do need it.

Becky, I was so happy to see your name and so glad you are doing better yourself. And bless you for taking care of business! I'm so sorry you've had this experience and hope the new SNF works out. Give Oliver a big hug from me, and I send one to you too.

Becky-you're not just fighting for your x-MIL-you're fighting for every one else out there who are too weak or worn out. Tale Oliver with you for your own insurance fight. I've got a couple of big furry boys I'll lend you-they're not bashful about telling folks off.
Just for the record-I've got a wonderful hospice for my husband. Wonderful meaning they do what I tell them to do.

I am glad you are in control. Sadly I believe I was misled when my mother was on hospice over a year ago. She died Sept 9, 2008. It wasnt until later that I realize most of her problems was probably induced by the morphine and seroquel. I carry a terrible terrible guilt over it and yet her quality of life was crap anyway. I go back and forth between these but it boils down to the fact I was so very tired and worn out fighting for her I gave up. So ultimately I believe I killed her and no one will ever convince me otherwise. I do not have good feelings towards hospice. Everytime I see that someone who was at the same facility (alzheimers} that was transferred to the brand spankin beautiful Hospice facility and later passed peacefully I remember my mother "didn't meet their criteria" and was turned away dying 9 days later in a crappy cold little room in an old crappy nursing home that was the ONLY place that would take her. I would have brought her home to die if I knew she only had 9 days.I was led to believe I was doing the right thing by hospice. I know better now but alot of good it does my poor mother.

quote:

Originally posted by lostnow:
I am glad you are in control. Sadly I believe I was misled when my mother was on hospice over a year ago. She died Sept 9, 2008. It wasnt until later that I realize most of her problems was probably induced by the morphine and seroquel. I carry a terrible terrible guilt over it and yet her quality of life was crap anyway. I go back and forth between these but it boils down to the fact I was so very tired and worn out fighting for her I gave up. So ultimately I believe I killed her and no one will ever convince me otherwise. I do not have good feelings towards hospice. Everytime I see that someone who was at the same facility (alzheimers} that was transferred to the brand spankin beautiful Hospice facility and later passed peacefully I remember my mother "didn't meet their criteria" and was turned away dying 9 days later in a crappy cold little room in an old crappy nursing home that was the ONLY place that would take her. I would have brought her home to die if I knew she only had 9 days.I was led to believe I was doing the right thing by hospice. I know better now but alot of good it does my poor mother.

I'm sure you did the best you could based on the information you had at the time. This is a learning process for all of us.

Your story is a reminder to us all to ask questions until we are satisfied with the answer. We were also told we could take mom on and off hospice if we need to.

The bottom line is all of these places are a business. Sometimes the staff is wonderful --sometimes not. We can't just trust that we have the good staff.

Your mother is at peace now...and I'm sure she would want you to forgive yourself as you made the best decision you knew how to make.