My mother was just diagnosed last week and she is moving to live with me, in 12 days, from her town 400 miles away and I am starting on this journey totally alone and clueless. I am seeking any and all information and support that anyone out there can give me. I am a bit overwhelmed at this time. Pease help!

Hi Garmma.
Im sorry to hear about the diagnosis and what you have to go through. First off, what stage is she in?

Thank you for responding, Dawn. I am not sure of what stage because I am not the one who took her to the dr. I should find out shortly though. I do know that she failed the tests really bad. How do I find out about the different stages and how to recognize when she advances to the next stage? Thanks again, I really appreciate knowing that I am not alone totally,

First things first.

Does someone have a durable power of attorney? If not, then guardianship must be applied for, which can be done though an Elderly Lawyer. Elderly attorneys are the ones that deal with the affairs of the elderly.

Without either of those two documents, giving help and acting in her behalf just isn't going to happen, legally speaking.

The ones that took her to get diagnosed should be able to tell you what she is able to do yet...and what she is not. If she isn't cognitive enough to enter into a Durable Power of Attorney....then Guardianship must be applied for.

The journey that you are beginning is not an easy one.... Be prepared for her wanting to go home...which could cause her to wander. The move will more than likely confuse her quite a bit....which may....I say...may, cause the disease to advance. However, with time, she will become accustomed to her new surroundings.

Be patient with her, very patient. Patience like you never knew you had.

Get in contact with the Alzheimer's organization to give you some additional guidelines regarding this disease.

Look into getting some help, because caregivers undergo a lot of stress....and above all....take care of yourself. Without you....she is lost.

From what you seem to be describing, based on your having to rescue her from where she is located, she may need 24 hour companionship. Look toward the office of the aging, church volunteers for starters.

Gary

You did the best thing possible by coming to this forum. I would have never made it this far without all of my wonderful, supportive and caring friends here. I have learned so very much. The most important thing that I learned is to drop the guilt. We all feel like we are not doing enough for our LO's. But just the fact that you care enough to take your mother into yourt home to care for her and keep her safe is a tremendous thing. We will all help you and support you with our own experiences. No one here will ever judge you. Taking care of a LO with AD can be an emotional roller coaster. Watchman has given you very valuable advice. Take things one step at a time. You will make it, I promise you. We all have been in your shoes. Just stay with us! Good luck and God bless. Fran

Welcome garmma,
You have opened a whole new world. Fran is so right. I also found so much in this and another forum. Please, if a specific concern surfaces, try using the "FIND" box above, to see past posts/threads.

Also peruse the Alz. Assoc. site. They have a wealth of info. Knowledge is power. Find out what you can, during the next 12 days. However, expect the unexpected to pop up. Post here, often, as we have so many members, with such varied experiences, and we share.

HI garmma, glad you found us, and sorry you need to be here. In your shoes I would be on the phone with the person who took your LO to the MD, and in the AM to the doctors office. The "36 hour day " is a good book to start with. I would also make an appointment for your mom with your MD if you like/trust him, and/or get a referral to a geriatric neurologist. There are medications that slow the initial damage with these diseases, and if it is past that stage there are medicines that can help with different behavior issues if they arise.

I want to thamk all of you have replied to my first posting. It is so reassuring to know that you all are here. A little background. My mother has been still living on her own. She is the one who asked to come and live with me because she knows (at this point) that she needs the help. She has told me that she has recently forgotten to take doses of meds and she cannot remember sometimes whether she has or has not taken a dose. I have sensed in the last couple of weeks a drastic decline in some behaviors. She has large emotional dips and has told some family members off. (this is not her nature) I know thqt the road ahead is not a smooth one but am willing to go down it and with the help of God and people like you I will be okay. Thanks again and God bless all of you!!

I too am the sole caregiver for my mother. She was diagnosed with dementia last Wednesday (July 2). She doesn't know what her diagnosis is, however, from last Wednesday to today (July 7), she is completely unmanageable.

She yells, screams & shouts about nothing, continuously. Badmouths me nonstop and today she punched me numerous times while I tried to change her depends.

She is completely bedridden (has been since November 14, 07...the day we moved into my first home).

While trying to change her "underwear", she would do nothing to allow me to get it off her, put a new bed pad under her or put the new "underwear" on her.

I do understand that she has no clue what she's saying. And I am happy about the fact that she doesn't walk (she'd probably wander off). My aunt was here today and all hell broke loose after she left.

I am already at my wits end. I called the doctor and he told me to up her does of Risperdol (sp). I sure hope that works. She'll holler & scream all night.

I have to try to keep her in the house as long as I can so I have the opportunity to sell it and get into a small mobile home. If I have to put her in a facility that is better equipped than I am and sell the house afterwards, they would get 1/2 of everything I make on the house (we bought it together).

I have WAY WAY WAY too much on my plate.

wearingmethin,
I am so sorry that all of this has fallen on you. but I believe that you and I have come to the right place for some support. I will be praying for you and your mother. For you I hope that your house sells soon. God Bless.

You have found the right place. People in here have given me loads of info that I would not have normally known about. Even looking on ALZ sights there is always something you can miss that isn't there. People in here will tell you everything. Just remember you come first-otherwise you'll be up you know what creek without a paddle. I have fights my GMIL-she never remembers them. She stutters and yells and throws things every so often. She'll bad mouth my daughter's boyfriend. She says "disgusting" "stupid" calls her great grandkids names etc...We're all used to it and we just laugh it off now. Just take things with a grain of salt and remember tomorrow is a new day and sometimes 5 minutes later it's a new day. I laugh and breathe a lot...Keep coming here and you'll be ok.