My Mom is now writing down everything from every conversaton -- 'live' or on the phone and often has to write it 2 or 3 times. It is impossible to converse normally and as you can imagine a simple sentence exchange takes about 10 minutes while she painstakenly records inane info. like how the weather is where I am living. Anyone dealt with this and if so, any tips? I can deal with it when I call once a week, but my sister who lives nearby must deal with it daily.

Understand that to YOU it is considered irrelevant. But to her...she has trouble remembering everything, so it is a way to document her life. Be patient w/ her. There may be a day that she won't be able to communicate at all, and you will wish for those days when she would document everything.

Thanks. Of course, I understand, and am very patient but it is very very difficult for my sister who lives there and must juggle 3 kids, a job, many, many other issues with my Mom, so if there is a way to help alleviate all the writing it sure would be a relief to her and it is painful to also see my Mom struggle with all the writing. But my guess is, it just will get worse and not much we can do about it.

What about a recorder? Would she be able to handle it is you recorded things so she could go back and listen? I have no idea...just grabbing at straws. My grandmother writes down things but usually it is important info and not so much word for word......yet.

My Mom writes things down too,,,and then she puts it in her purse,,or hides it,,then can't find it. So,,when I come across it,,I throw it out! This is just part of the illness,,and it will just get worse...

If your Mom is calling your sister on a daily basis ,,several times a day,,,your sis should have caller ID,,and just let it go to her answering machine or voice mail....

If your Mom is starting to be that forgetful,,I'm sure that she is misplacing and losing things too,,,it may be time to consider either her coming to live with one of you,,or placing her in a really nice ALF.

I know what you and sis are going thru,,wish I could offer up some miraculous advice,,but its just going to get worse,so the best advice I can offer is to start making plans for your Mother's care right away. Peace

Dad doesnt write things down now but I do. I try to get the jump on things by giving him a list of where we are going if we go to do shopping, bank mail etc. Also if we are going to the doc. He will ask a hundred times when his appointment is. I give him the card the day of the appointment and ask him before he has a chance to ask me. Yes,I know when it is but for some reason if he thinks he is giving me info, it sticks more with him.

I try to keep conversations short and simple. He doesnt retain it so the less the better.

With the calling, your sister might use the writing down things to her advantage. She could tell Mom that she will be away from the phone till late. Then instruct her to write down all her questions and when sis gets home, she will call her to answer all of them. Then sis can ignor the calls till late in the day or at some other specified time and spend a few minutes talking to her.

If she receives calls at work, she could say that her boss has limited her calls to outgoing only. New phone system. If there is a true emergency, Mom should go to the ALF staff and have them call the boss for her.

Calls at night, Sorry mom I have ____in the bathtub right now, I will call you back when I can. Gee Mom we just sat down to dinner, can I call you back after we get the kitchen cleaned.
Hubby just came in and needs to talk to me right now. Let me call you back.

Calls in the middle of the night. Gee Mom this can really wait till in the morning. I need to get my sleep right now. You know we always go to bed at 10:00 Pm.


Once she does this several times I'll bet Mom gets the message.

ajm,

I forgot to mention that you might want to call Mom twice per week so that she has more incomming calls. You could even say you are going to start calling on say Mon and Thursday so she should keep her phone free. This could help sis too.