I want to apologize in advance - this is a long post!

I am wondering if the things my mom was doing a couple of days ago could be a precursor to wandering?
We went downtown in the near-by big city to see some art on Thursday. We planned on riding a trolley to go around the for more.

We got to the correct street to catch the trolley, but when I checked the map again, she was long gone - she had walked a bout 2 or 3 blocks while I was checking.
She could move pretty fast as it turns out. She was 2 blocks away, at a traffic light before she stopped and looked at me. I called her and waved my arms in a come back manner. She ignored me and crossed the street instead.

She looked at me and I again waved for her to come back. She stopped and thought about something and the took off again. didn't move allowing me time to cross the street. I waved again, but she spun on her heel and took off in the opposite direction putting another two or three blocks between us. I started after her then thought the better of it and turned around and walked back the way we had come.

After a few minutes I turned around and there she was, maybe 20 feet away. I turned back and waited. It took her longer tp travel those 20 feet than it had taken her to walk the first three blocks away from me.

I asked her why she kept running away from me when I motioned for her to come back. She said she didn't see me. Bulloney!

I just wanted to take her home and put some distance between us. Then I remembered that she needed some groceries and had offered to stop there.

At the grocery store she did a similar thing. When I was done checking out, I looked up and couldn't find her. I searched every where, and then finally found her outside pushing the cart back and forth and back and forth looking for me, in the dark and rain. I called out, "There you Are!" in a friendly way even though I wanted to throttle her. She turned around angry and started yelling, "Where were you! Where have you been? I have been looking and looking for you!" I told her again that I had to pay for my food before I could leave... Well, I didn't know where you had gone and I've been looking and looking, etc., etc.

Does the walking away sound like a something that will turn into wandering? Is there anything I can do aside from ordering medic alert bracelets and joining safe return? Should I call her doctor? I just don't know what to do! Thanks for any ideas and help.
K

I don't know what stage your mother is but in both cases I suspect she was just suddenly lost. She did not know where she was and probably did not recognize you. So she took off trying to find something familiar. This is also why some people wander. They are trying to find something or someone that is familiar. And they are sometimes frightened and can move faster than usual.

Certainly making sure she has some type of ID on her is a good plan. When my mother lived with my brother she did not wander but 3 older people had just disappeared near where he lived so he got her a GPS locator bracelet so she could be located if she did walk off. Apparently in large cities the homeless will help hide people who have wondered off.

Thanks for your input. I hadn't thought of that. I know she didn't recognize me once about a year ago, but I didn't think it had happened again. Your explanation makes sense.
What is a GPS locator bracelet and where does one get one?
K

My mom doesn't "wander" and she's not exit-seeking.

But she is very confused about where she is and what's around her.

So for example, she tried to go out an exit at her ALF because she thought it was a door to an office. (Despite the big red EXIT sign).

Of course, she would be totally vulnerable if she made it through that door without a companion - like a little turtle without a shell.

My sense is that this is actually very common among our ADLOs - probably more so than actual wandering or exit-seeking behavior.

They don't really understand where they are, and so they don't act at all appropriately. And the more "stuff" around them - multiple doors, multiple people, lots of shelves and displays or street signs and traffic, etc., etc, the less they can take it all in.

Also, don't assume she saw and recognized you when you were waving at her.

It has become very clear to me that altho my mom's eyesight is perfect, her brain does not process visual inputs normally anymore.

I don't mean she's hallucinating. She just doesn't know what she's seeing a lot of the time. She will think a roof is a patio. I will be standing a few feet in front of her and she clearly isn't registering my presence (not the same as not recognizing me).

Something similar is happening with my mother and I always thought thank goodness at least she doesn't wander.

She used to hang onto the cart and keep her eyes glued on me. It bothered me because she would never look at anything in the store, or anywhere for that matter.

It's been a few times I've noticed at checkout she just starts to walk out with the cart when I haven't finished paying the cashier. The last time I asked her to wait so I could dash down the aisle and grab something, still in her view, looked back and she was gone. I ran until I found her almost out the door holding onto the cart looking confused.

Thought I was always eyes-on before, but now I know even that second looking away is taking a chance.

She's also been saying she can't see or her eyes, her eyes. Obviously she can see because she grabs for everything and her vision has tested as very good, although not lately as she wouldn't be able to sit through an exam. She was in one moment able to express that she could see but didn't know what she was seeing.

It is important to remember that any of our loved ones could "wander" at any given point, whether or not they intend to. They get confused and lost. There is no filter to tell them to stop. And it is entirely possible that when you waved, she did not know who you were or what you wanted. The brain sometimes does not process what the eyes see. Those types of incidents are very unsettling and bring to the forefront how quickly things can happen so we must never assume our LO won't do any particular thing.

Hi Kdoglady,

My father is very exit-seeking and I had an episode with him and my Mom. I had to take Mom to the ER because she was complaining about her foot hurting her. When I brought her home, I told my Mom and Dad that I had to get Mom's prescription filled and pick up a few things at the store. As luck would have it, the drug store needed to get hold of the doctor (a resident) and it took me over 2-1/2 hours before I got back to my parents' place. When I got in their apartment I thought they had gone to bed because there was only a couple of night lights on. When I turned on the lights I discovered that they were not at home (after 10 p.m.!!!!) I never had the experience of losing any of my sons when they were young. To me, this was much worse. I noticed that the car was still in the parking lot so I knew they couldn't have gone too far. It turned out that they went to a pizza place across the street. My father had my Mom sit on the walker seat (she had a rolling walker at the time) and pushed her down a dark driveway, across a fairly busy street that is not well-lit at night, and into the restaurant. I got so upset when I saw them that I burst into tears. They thought nothing of it - all they knew was that they were hungry and would need a ride home.

I enrolled my parents in the Safe Return program even though they are both in the same NH and my father is in the locked dementia ward. He even got out of there once and ended up in the parking lot in the rain.

As several on this board have previously stated, our LO's "reasoner" is broken. They just don't process information in the same way anymore. I suggest that you enroll your Mom in the Safe Return program - it gives me peace of mind. The GPS locator bracelet is also a good idea. You have to do whatever is necessary to keep your Mom safe.

Thanks everyone - you've given me a lot to think about.
I'd like to know where to get the GPS locator bracelet. I sa w some online but they were big clunky things. She wouldn't wear those.
K