My father was diagnosed with AZ about a year ago. He showed signs of this disease which I pointed out to my 2 brothers approx 4 yrs ago. At the time my older brother just brushed it off as old age since our dad at 77. When he started showing more signs my brothers belived me that something was very wrong. He had no will and needed a DPOA. My mother and him divirced about 15 yrs ago.Just before an official dianosis by 2 doctors in June 2006 he had his will updated ever so slightly and that was that. Just before Christmas my mom was coming over and helping him out as we all were. She has a drinking problem , takes many anti-depressants, and klonopin. This makes for a very ansty cocktail. My mom and dad have been friendly through the years but neither remarried and we all help mom also. She can't work or so she says because of her problems. We just found out 5 days ago that she took our dad to another lawyer and had everything changed to be given to her and a DPOA.If you take my dad out to lunch feed him and talk to him he'll sign anything. She told him his old will was no good since it had pencil marks on it. She is in no condition to run this mans life and did this since she feels she was ripped off in the divorce.We have since talked to dad and all he remembers is that he talked to a verynice french lawyer. I'm livid that our mom took advantage of a man who thinks about as well as my 8 year old daughter. We took him to his banks and had his annuity and another fund transferred out and put only in my brothers name. I cannot belive my mom did what she did as she was to get a goo portion of what dad was going to leave if there is any left after caregiving..--This money was and is meant to take care of him to the end of this disease. I thought I was alone in this for awhile until I found these boards and can see that the vultures really do show up to clean the carcass. We are going to fight this all the way.We found mom was forging his name on checks as early as 6 months ago and there is about 20K unaccounted for. My older brother is going to have a TALK with our mom this week. The original lawyer for the will is on Vacation. When I looked at the list of what a person with Alz has my dad has them all big time.It really is as if it just go's in 1 ear and out the other. Thanks for letting me get off some steam..Chris--Long Island N.Y.

chris,
i'm so sorry for your situation. i'm glad though that you found this forum. it is a great place to vent. but i also have found that it's just as great if not more to get advice from so many others traveling down this long lonely terrible journey of AD. the support you will receive, the love and compassion will help you get through each and every day. be patient and i'm sure you will receive lots of good feedback about your situation. again i'm sorry for what you are going through but WELCOME!

Chris, welcome to the Caregivers Forum!
It looks like you've been researching and doing your "homework" already, and that is the best advice I can give. Now that you've posted, I am sure other members will chime in, with similar experiences. It is tough enough giving our LOs (Loved Ones) care without the added stress of dealing with "vultures". I'm sorry your mother has health and mental issues too. Hang in there.

OH Chris...bad bad bad. I am so sorry. Going from my battle for POA, the lawyer said that if my grandmother was offically diagnosed with dementia that would make things harder for me for obtain it from my aunt. In your case I would think it would make things easier. If he is diagnose with it prior to changing those papers, I would think you would have some weight. He didn't know what he was doing. My grandmother would do the same thing. She can change her mind on a dime if given the right situation and circumstances. I would contact a lawyer and take it to court. You have to look out for him. That is such a shame when family acts that way. Just makes everything harder in the end for everyone involved.

Welcome Chris. I'm glad you're dad has you in his corner - you sound like a wonderful advocate. Hang in there and vent anytime!

Dear Chris: You are a very good and conscientious advocate for your Dad.

You do have recourse. Your father may have been capable of going through the signing of a paper; BUT HE WAS NOT COMPETENT to conduct the business with full capacity. The "french" attorney may, if he was aware your father was compromised in any way, have breached his legal responsibility and ethics. He could be facing big trouble if this is so.

An eldercare attorney and documentation of your Dad's condition are of course important.

Another thing, though it sounds distasteful: A police report should be made. We had an incident in our family and this was necessary. What I learned was that even though I did not desire prosecution; the report was important in getting things taken care of.

Also, when making a police report, get a copy of the report number, and contact the Detective Bureau. They are the ones who handle these things. However, many of these reports just get kissed off. (My husband was in law enforcement.) Be certain to speak to a Detective and get him to do a followup and get a copy of the reports.

The Detective's investigation will require him/her to speak to your Mother, (who could use a good scare), and also to speak to the "french" attorney. Any and all papers and medical records you can get to objectively demonstrate your Dad's decreased capacity would be very helpful.

Best of luck, please let us know what happens with this.

P.S.

Also . . . this is a must, contact the Adult Protective Services in your county. They will do a full on investigation of their own.

You will need an eldercare attorney to help you get the DPA for Finance and Healthcare returned into the rightful names to protect your Dad.

When the time comes, you may wish to discuss conservatorship/guardianship of your Dad's person and business to avoid this sort of nastiness in the future as Mom does not sound to dependable not to cause further chaos.

I am so very sorry for this gut-wrenching and stressful business.

My brother just e-mailed a copy of the will if anyone would like to view it please post so you can see what I see. It says in the beginning something to the effect of not really being od sound mind and such but also knowing that life is what it is. Sounds like some way to make it good by saying I was awake while I was there so that was good enough --I will mail to any that want it to view.