MIL is still fighting us. After her shoulder break 2 weeks ago and going on pain meds she began hallucinating and agression. WE sgtopped gthe pain meds tried another one recommend by her Neurologist (tramadol) and that didn't help so we stopped that as well. We took her back to the orthopedic yesterday and he said she was healing nicely. She is mad all the time but has very brief moments of what almost seems like she knows what is going on with her and cries to die. Then she is back on her rampages again. It seems we are giving her more and more Seroquel and it is helping less and less. It only knocks her out if she has been up more than 2 or 3 days straight. Is this going to stop after the shoulder is healed? She should not be in enough pain anymore to cause this reaction so I am completely baffled. We are supposed to take her to NY for her grandaughters wedding on the 15th, but I am afrtaid it will not happen. She cannot fly in this condition, but my husband is determined to take her if she calms down "some". Any suggestions? Thanks you all again.

ttt

My only suggestion is to try and convince your husband not to put his mother through traveling at this point. In my opinion taking her would be so unfair to her and ... dare I say - thoughtless regarding her needs/distresses.
Marie

I would plan on "not taking Mom to the wedding",,,I mean seriously,,how numb is your husband in regards to the situation. I think he needs to get himself out of the "denial" mode and look at things with his Mother alot more realistically.

Its obvious that the Seroquel isn't working for her,,so that med should be changed to perhaps Risperdal,,to see if she responds better.

And you bet she's in pain,,,,have you ever had a shoulder injury? Well I have,,and even though its "healing",,there is still momentary sharp shooting pains even during healing.

Why would you and your husband even chance her having one of her outburst at her grand daughters wedding or reception?

As I had stated before,,and I still stand by it,,your neice and her new husband can make it a point to come and visit and bring some of their wedding pictures. It would be much less stressful on your MIL,,than having to travel with a shoulder thats on the mend.

Perhaps it would serve you better if you were to bring your husband here to the forum so that he himself can get a bit better educated on dementia and fall's and breaks,,and behaviors.

I wish you the very best of things,,it sounds as though you have your hands full,,,with MIL,,then with hubby being a bit persistant in taking her along for the wedding. Good luck,,maybe you can try to reason with him a bit more successfully. If you have to go with MIL in tow,,then I truly wish you alot of strength,,and maybe even a Xanax to get you thru it all!! Keep us posted. Peace

Have you been in contact with her doctor (neuro or psych) lately? I'd do that ASAP.

There are alternatives to Seroquel, like Risperdal and Zyprexa. It may not be the best choice for her. In some people, a certain med can actually make behavioral symptoms worse, not better.

Talk to her doctor.

And make sure nothing else health-wise is going on.

I will say that my mom's behavioral symptoms were at their worst for the two months after she broke her shoulder. In fact, that's when we started Seroquel which made a big difference.

In my opinion, I would expect it to take much longer than two weeks for a shoulder fracture in an older person that has been repaired to feel better. Alot of the recovery depends on how extensive the injury/break was and how much they needed to cut etc. Also, in general, healing as we get older can be slower than when we were in our twenties.

Have you discussed any of this with her orthopedist?

I agree with Raven that taking your MIL to the wedding is not a good idea at all.

heidicares, sorry you are having this issue. Sounds as if your MIL is not only one fighting. Sounds as if your husband is in denial. Give him two words to place in search engine and read the article that comes up. Our lo will have Anosognosia and we have confabulation. New words make you think.
Her shoulder is going to remain painful and if she can't take any pain meds, more so. That "as we get older" phase is so very true. Her bones will not be healed for more like 8 weeks and maybe more if she is not protecting. Just a fact! Ask her Ortho if he/she feel that she should be traveling by air that soon. Come and keep us advised because your experience will help someone else. This disease is so hard on support family that we need places like this to get multiple ideas of how we can carry on. Thank you for sharing. Sheryl

quote:

In my opinion, I would expect it to take much longer than two weeks for a shoulder fracture in an older person that has been repaired to feel better.

I wondered about this too. In my mom's case, surgery was not even an option due to the location of the fracture, so it was immobilized for about two months.

It was definitely painful for a lot longer than two weeks, though Tramadol and a heating pad managed the pain effectively.

I surely would not have wanted to take her anywhere that her arm would have been jostled - like an airport. And airplanes have VERY tight quarters. There's no way you don't get bumped around, even if you board in a wheelchair.

Thank you all. The Orthopedic said she is healing well and the sling can come off in 2 weeks. She did not need surgery and the break was not bad. She just woke up and seems to be confused but in a good mood. She is eating breakfast (lunch). It is not that my husband is in denial, he just knows how much the wedding means to her. She has been doing nothing but talking about gowns, and all up until the break of her shoulder. So not to take her is going to be aweful for her and us.

heidi, have you ever been in a sling? I can't begin to tell you how vunerable your arm feels for the first week or so and jostling and bumping will definitely cause discomfort. Tell her the weding has been postponed, or they eloped or whatever fiblet will help - but don't even seriously consider taking the poor woman on a plane to a ceremony in her condition.

Lying or fibbing is not an option. When she comes out of this we already decided if she cannot go not to lie to her. We will tell her it was her AD and she was in no condition to go. Otherwise, she will make our lives miserable. She needs to know the truth.

You may need to tell her the truth over and over and over again. It's been my experience that once you tell the truth, you need to stick to it because she may forget it sometimes, remember other times.

quote:

Originally posted by heidicares:
Lying or fibbing is not an option. When she comes out of this we already decided if she cannot go not to lie to her. We will tell her it was her AD and she was in no condition to go. Otherwise, she will make our lives miserable. She needs to know the truth.

Let us know how that works for you.

quote:

Originally posted by jellybeans:
You may need to tell her the truth over and over and over again. It's been my experience that once you tell the truth, you need to stick to it because she may forget it sometimes, remember other times.

I give daily care to our nearly 90 year old late stage Alz's neighbor. It is frustrating sometimes to go over the same information. Occasionally she has a very clear day and she remebers bits and pieces. I didn't say she liked it, but she understands that to be able to stay at home there is a set of rules that must be followed and she knows that she doesn't want to go back to a hospital or other situation. (New here... hello all)

Hi, wrdbrn. Thanks for joining us on the message boards and adding to the conversation. Please come back often!

Wrdbrn,
Your neighbor is lucky to have you

Heidi,

If you feel she can make the trip, just make arrangements to make her as comfortable as possible. You should be able to take advantage of advanced seating to minimize the josling. My mom broke her shoulder last year and it took several weeks for the pain to subside, and it was a very minor fracture.

If you don't feel she can make the trip, I wouldn't blame it on her AD, but her shoulder injury. Just tell her you felt the travel would have been too painful. And be sure to share lots of pictures with her.

You're a loving DIL and I'm sure you will decide what is best for HER and everyone else.