Today was an important Jewish holiday and this year is the first one that my hubby was unable to go to the synagogue with me. He was at the Adult Day Center and quite happy to be there. I find it hard to be the one who experiences the loss at times like this. It is kind of like we are the ones who are wide awake and they (the AD person) is not. Painful and lonely. Glad I am on the other side of it.

I would guess any spouse who is attends church experiences similar feelings during on Sundays and important holidays. I do not go to our Sabbath Services on Sat. mornings anymore since the caregiver costs get to expensive.

However, I do attend other programs during the week when he is in day care. Today seemed to be particularly difficult.

I'm sorry Linda,,you're so right,,its extremely difficult to have to "endure" the ever changing changes of having a LO with AD.

We as their caregiver,,also go thru constant changes and adjustments,,regardless if we want to or not.

Perhaps you can find someone to come an sit with your husband so that you could occasionally attend your synagogue sevices.

I wish you the best of things,,and strength to get thru all that lies ahead . Peace

Linda, I am so sorry. I am caregiver to my mother but am also widow. After my husband died I really had a hard time going to church. I cried all during the service. My feelings were that memory of being there with him and wow. I just feel for you. May you know that I will be with you in spirit as this is near and dear to my heart. When I see a elderly couple that obviously are in love still I still tear up so...maybe no help but know that this site and all the people will continue to support you as this disease takes our lo to another demension. Big Hugs to you and prayers of support. Church comforts me now and I did worry that it would not. I was not angry at God just lost within myself.

may the new year be good to you and to your family. This disease is so much a matter of losses. peace

Linda, I'm sorry you have to go thru this. My nanny never missed church then when the dementia started, she just would not feel like going, she would get ready and when i got there, just didn't feel like going. We don't go that much anymore, once in a while I can get her to get up and go and she loves it. of course she doesn't remember 5 minutes after we leave. And on Sundays she always asks what day it is. Sometimes I say Sunday, it just depends on her mind that day. I'm glad that you are can still go to some functions. I hope you enjoy going to them even those your dear husband can't go. Just remember he would be so happy to know that you are continuing what you all have always done....

Linda, I understand how difficult going to church service alone is as I was a widow for 10 years and then remarried. I joined a new church a little way from my home which helped me -- it wasn't the same pew or the same people.

Just remember you DH is always with you because you carry the memories of when he was a strong healthy person -- that's the man you married and will always have at your side.

God love you and please take care of yourself.

Linda-I also didn't go to services. Too painful to go alone. I spent the day with dear friends and we broke the fast together. Hoping for a sweet and better new year.