Hi all,

It has been a couple of weeks since I have posted and wanted to let everyone know why.

About two and a half weeks ago G-ma started to get extremely aggitated and aggressive again. I made a phone call to hospice and they suggested that we have her transported to the hospice house to get her meds adjusted.

We agreed with the decision and although we needed the respite time we called to check in on her everyday.

She spent a week there and they finally got her calmed down. When she left home she was able to walk with assistance. Now back at home since Tuesday morning she was in a wheelchair unable to assist with transfers.

When we got her cleaned up this morning and in the chair ready for breakfast we noticed that her eyes are glazed and was not anywhere near as responsive as she was yesterday. Needless to say she did not eat breakfast.

I called the hospice nurse and requested that she come today to check her. We put her back in bed and she slept almost all day. While she was sleeping she would stop breathing for about 10 to 20 seconds at a time.

The nurse seems to think that she is over medicated. This is possible but I dont believe this is the case. She was fine the whole week at hospice and fine this week at home.

We were able to arouse her enough to feed her some icecream to get her meds down.

We did also cut some of the meds in half but she does not seem to be responding any better yet.

I was sitting by her bed tonight feeding some icecream to her and she asked me if I was packed for the trip. I said yes and asked if she was ready for her trip. She replied yes. I asked who she was going with and she said she was going with me. How scarry is that?

She is not rasping yet but does seem to have some conjestion. I dont imagine that with her being bed bound now that it will be very long before it turns to pnemonia.

It is sad to sit and watch your loved one slip away for any reason but AD has all but taken G-ma away from us and now all we can do is sit and wait.

Oh how this sucks. I love G-ma with all my heart and would do anything for her. As I was sitting with her stroking her arm and hand a single tear fell on her face. That just drained the life right out of me. I simply said, G-ma dont cry everything is ok and will be ok because I am here with you and wont let anything make you uncomfortable.

She calmed down and fell back to sleep.

Its going to be a long night but I have faith and coffee to help get through.

Please to all who read this, kiss your loved ones good night and tell them that you love them everynight. I know very soon I will be wishing I had just one more time to do so.


Grandchildren

I'm so very sorry about your Grama. Maybe you might want to consider letting her stay in the Hospice Home for her care,,since she did so much better there.

You can visit with her often,,and she can get the full time 24/7 care that is required,,and you can always get a good nights sleep.

Its hard to let go,,but we have to do whats best for our LO,,,keep them as comfortable as possible. Best of everything. Peace

I could be wrong, but the first thing that I thought of when you describrd what's happening with your grandmother was overmedication. It could have taken several days to build up and even though you've cut the meds in half, it could take several days for them to leave her system. Does she wear a Fentanyl patch for pain? If so and if the dose was increased, this could also have a profound effect. Decreased breathing rate is a very classic sign of narcotics overdose. Unfortunately, what your seeing could also be physical decline having nothing to do with meds. Losing a loved one is heart wrenching no matter what the circumstances. I will keep you in my prayers. Best of luck. Fran

Thanks for all your support. Things have gone down hill since my last post.

G-ma will say a couple of understandable words. but that is it. She will no longer take more than two bites of icecream and a half a straw of water.

She doesnt wear any patches for pain. She isnt in any either. She is calm and relaxed. just sleeps all the time.

I hate to sound like she is dying when hospice doesnt think she is, but we have been through this situation a couple times before. (not AD)

We can she that she is tired but not quite ready to go yet. To tell you the truth, as hard as it is to see this happening and would do anything to reverse the whole thing, I would rather see her go than for her to have to live like this.

She deserves to have peace in her mind and love in her heart. None of this can happen truely without first meeting her maker now.

This disease has taken everything away from her and now is taking her life.

I will keep everyone updated as I need to sit with her now. Hospice will be coming again sometime to day to check in on her. We will know more then.

Grandchildren