My MIL has been going downhill rapidly this year. In August she was inpatient at a psych ward and they basically changed all her meds and the outcome was good as she was falling, crying and very paranoid before hand. Over the last month she has become afraid to be alone which is "normal" however she wakes up scared and she is so scared its like shes got Schizophrenia. I can tell she is nervous cuz she breaths in and out like hyperventilating. I try and calm her by asking her why she is nervous and if I can do anything to help out but nothing helps. I give her an ativan and it does stop her from breathing so hard but she is still just plain frightened. Over the last month I can be sitting in the same room with her and she will yell my name or ask me where I am? Has anyone seen this behavior before? Is it 'normal'? Also, Hospice believes she is manipulating me however she is at least a stage 6 and I am unsure if she has the capacity. Any thoughts are appreciated.

I can relate to your MIL wanting to know where you are when you are in the same room.

When I would pick may partner of 30 years up from daycare she would always ask "do you think Pat will be there when we get home" Initially I would try to explain I was Pat but eventually I just answered yes. We also had the same problem at home. We would be sitting next to each other watching TV and she would ask "Where did Pat go?"

When she did this she was in late stage 5/ early 6.

Fortunately we never experience the fear.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Always
If Hospice thinks she's manipulating you, then I think that hospice needs more training in dementia. Call the director and speak to her.

I think it's "normal" for our LO's to not recognize us--especially by name. Remember, they usually think they're in their 30's so how could we "old folks" be their children? Also they can have agnosia (sp?) of seeing something before them but not recognizing it.

Hospice should know more about calming meds. Have they given you the ativan in liquid form? you can it drop in her cheek and increase dosage by small increments until you get the right dosage. Hospice should also have haldol
available for calming.

Yeah, maybe some sub lingual atavan will help to calm her more quickly. I don't think she's manipulating you. Not at this point of the desease. I'm glad you are there to comfort her.

My question to hospice would be "so what!!?" If she's stage 6 and dealing with this awful disease ... she gets whatever she needs. Although I would tend to agree I seriously doubt if at this stage it is "manipulation" - it is something and it needs them to take care of it. So sorry you're having to deal with this.

Whoever you assistance is from Hospice,,,well,,,they're not trained nor are they truly familiar with Alzheimers!! My Mom always says things like,,what about Raven,,or whatever,,,when I'm sitting right there. My Mother also gets nervous too,,,its the disease.

I think if I were you,,that I would call the Hospice and request someone that "is experienced" with Alzheimers Dementia.

Much love to you and your Mother,,its hard enough facing and dealing on a daily basis with a LO thats been afllicted with AD,,but to have to tolerate sheer ignorance from a so called trained professional ,,should never be tolerated. Best of luck,,keep us posted on things. Peace

Thank you all so much for your replys. I have her in a short respite stay now til Saturday morning and am in hopes that the NH and Hospice can see without me being there what she is doing. I do not think she has the capacity for manipulation either. I think they (hospice) thinks she is not as far into the disease as she is due to she can feed herself and can walk ok as they seem to compare her with other patients. I think they are all different and its hard to say what "stage" they are in. I just wish that they would give her something to take away her fear. Thanks again to all.