I am Scott. I joined this group today. I am 36 married with two children. My son Daniel is 10 and my daughter Amanda is 7. I am not a primary caregiver. My mother is. She gives care to my Oma (grandmother) and my Opa (grandfather). Oma is stage 7, unable to swallow, communicate or move. She is currently unable to perform the following, but always will be: a wonderful pianist, singer, teacher, cook, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, wife and leaver of an infinite legacy. She is wife to a (currently unable to perform) hunter, teacher, father, grandfather, great-grandfather and legacy giver who happens to be in terminal renal failure. I don't know how long I will be associated with this group, but I appreciate the gifts you all give very much.

Hi

My name is Lorraine i live in the UK with my husband and two children Alex aged 8 and Ben aged 5, My mother in law (70 yrs old) was diagnosed with AD about two years ago 2004 very ealry stages her drugs seem to be keeping it at bay but very slowly it progresses, she has good and bad days with it just like the rest of us, she has her husband with her who sometimes really struggles but is doing his best, My husbands sister is the main caregiver and is doing a great job, but i worry for her that she is doing too much too soon, i do help where i can but it's not the same when it's not your own flesh and blood, nevertheless the family around my mother in law all do their bit so on the whole we aren't doing too bad, so glad i found this message board its a god send, thanks

Hi,
I'm Jo and my mother (82) has AZ. I lost my father a year ago and after having mom for awhile she went to assisted living. She is very delusional and anxious. My husband 's mother passed away from AZ and we have two daughters in college. I have been teaching for 29 years. My siblings are in other parts of the country.

Hi Everyone-

My name is Margie, I am 36 yo and live in West Chester, PA with my husband and 2 sons, ages 9 and 7. We live next door to my parents. My dad is 79 and was diagnosed with AZ about 2 yrs ago. He has had a somewhat rapid decline over the past 6 mos or so- both mental and physical. My mom is 16 yrs younger than my dad, and works part-time. I babysit in my home, and so have had my dad here with me during the day lately.
I am glad to have found this board and hope it will be helpful for me as I go through this!!

Hello,
I am LJ (LindaJean) I live at Big Bear Lake Calif. I am 55 years old with 5 kids & 19 grandkids. Just 18 months ago married my darling Hubby. Six months after marriage he had some small strokes and after rather extensive testing....this last Dec we found Hubby has AD with Vascular issues. Needless to say plans changed and we are now headed down a slippery slope. Right now we are struggling to find what meds will keep him calm. I was referred here by an office of Alz and it has already helped me greatly.

we are the willsey family; my husband joe ,and i are caretaker of my 89 yr old father in law,at the stage of ,maybe like 3 yr old. he was diga, with this diease in his 60,s.he has been living with us for 6 yrs.for the first two yrs with us was great.he was still in control of few things.so we all enjoyed doing things togather.but now ,the dr told us ,it is nearly time for him to go to a home.we are in our 60,s and retired,the dr told us ,we need a break so maybe he knows best.

Hi, my name is Nancy and my sister's name is Mary Beth (age 60 & has AD).
I am her 24/7 caregiver, sister, best friend, cohort, financial advisor, banker, fashion designer, hair dresser, and confident. She is very talented in many ways: designer of doll clothes; quilter; crocheter; baker; and mother! Mary Beth was diagnosed in Jan, 06 but we are both sure she had it for at least 18 months. I have lived with her for 20 years and knew something was wrong, but I had no idea it was AD and I didn't realize how serious until I found out her home was in foreclosure. I think she should get the award for being able to hide things from people! We have taken care of the home situation, gotten her on medication, applied for disability, and tried to prepare for whatever this disease does to her. We know by reading these forums that you can never really be prepared, but we do our best. I retired after 30 years with the federal government to care for her. We both had terrible childhoods, and her marriage of 20 years was a nightmare. I hope to ensure the years she has left will be as peaceful and loving as I can possibly make them for her. She is a wonderful sister and friend and she deserves it! She enjoys, in addition to sewing, garage sales and thrift store shopping! At this point she is still able to sell doll things she makes on Ebay (with my help) and I hope she can continue to do this for several more years!
I want to thank all of you for your insight, advice, sharing, and love on this forum...it has provided much encouragement to both my loving sister and myself. God Bless all of you.

I must admit that I don't have time to read all the responses, but it would be convenient to have this on the page, so that when you're going back and forth with another member, you can quickly look up their info.

I am Melanie, 24 years old. I live in the Baltimore/Washington metro area. I have an amazing husband of 3 1/2 years, Eric, who is 33. I can't describe how wonderful he is, except to say that I know that he'd give up everything, even life itself, for me or our children in a second. We have two toddlers- Ida, who is 28 months and "spirited" (read: difficult but fun), and Daniel, 12 months, who just has a lot of energy. They bring joy and exasperation to my life. I am a full time at home mom, Eric is enlisted in the Navy and works for the Navy Band (desk job).
My dad, Daniel (like my son), was diagnosed just a week ago, at 51, with EOAD. We suspect that we have a genetic connection. My father's father also died of EOAD, along with his aunt, and my great-grandfather was not diagnosed but most likely also died of the EOAD. My dad lives in PA with my mom (49) and my brother (21). My brother and I are currently considering genetic testing.

My family and I visit them about once a month. I have an 8 year old step-daughter, Abigail, who lives in the same area with her mother, and usually we come up and our whole family stays together at my parents' house. My in-laws also live in the same area. I also have 3 living grandparents- both my mother's parents, and my dad's mother, who will probably do what they can to help with his care. There is also at least one aunt and uncle who will be supportive.
Apart from my life as a mother, a wife, and a daughter, I enjoy music, gardening, and reading. I am trained as a professional singer, as is my husband.
When I think of my future, I cry and laugh at the same time. I cry because my children will never know their grandfather. I laugh because Dad is going home to Jesus, and my children have a beautiful life ahead of them.
Dad is my hero. He is certainly not perfect, and he was not a perfect father. He made some major mistakes in his life, some of which caused scars for all of us. But he taught me that heros aren't the people who always make the right choices, but the ones who accept responsibility for their bad choices, and then trust the Lord to help them make better ones. The reasons I love my dad are the reasons I married my husband, and I hope my son, my dad's namesake, will learn the same lesson as he becomes a man.

My name is Patty and I have been taking care of my mom for about 4 years now. Dad realized about 4 years ago that he couldn't take care of her by himself, so we (my sister, brother and I) moved them here. Just last July mom had a spell where she wouldn't get off of the toilet. She stayed there for about 24 hours before we could get her to the hospital. They moved her to a nursing home and then to the Alzheimer's unit. This has been the toughest thing in my life to deal with. It is nice to know there are other people out there going through this too.

Oma's Grandson-
I have an "Oma" too, she is my great-grandmother (and thusly also great-great-grandmother to my kids). She is healthy except for being blind as a bat and weak in her legs. She lives in an assisted living home. My Opa died 3 years ago, also of terminal renal failure.
Just thought it was cool to hear about another Oma and Opa.

i have kind of an odd story...
im near 30,married,and have 3 children ages 12,7and 20 months.I found this site looking to get help for my mother(56)who is caring for my step-dad(76).although he is my stepdad i have never thought of him that way.they married when i was 12,and my biological father who i had not seen since i was 10 died when i was 15.to me he has been the only daddy i have known...after all any male can father a child but it takes a great man to be a dad!and thats what he is to me.he has 5 kids of his own who were all grown and out of the house when he met my mother,except for his youngest who is a year older than i but she lived with her mom.we found out about his alz in 2003 and he also has prostate cancer,which he has had removed and had several radiation treatments for,a pace maker,and has had several strokes and heart attacks.(the last heart attack he had happened while i was in the hospital giving birth to my oldest,he was in the LDR room with me after she was born and just sat down in the chair next to my bed a seemed to just go to sleep.he didnt tell anybody what was happening cause he said he wanted to come home with me and the baby...later that month he got the pacemaker put in and has had it replaced once since then.).he seems to progress so fast its hard to see him fall apart.my mom who works to support both of them does the best she can,but has just recently given in to the fact that she needs help,and has decided to let him come stay with me during the day a few times a week.out of his own children only one of his sons takes him for one night a week and stays current with his treatments and care,and one of his daughters takes him for a weekend every now and then,but they all have busy lives to tend too.i am a stay at home mom,and have an in home day care,and do all i can to make it easier for mom.my dad used to be a painter and now he cant even draw a circle.i think he is between stage 5-6,he gets confused EASY and needs guidence in just about everything.he falls down a lot,but gets around on his own.he knows what is happening to him and he cries alot and says hes sorry all the time,some days are better than others,but thats everybodys life.so many people on here have quotes of faith...and i envy you for that,i lost mine a long time ago,how do you do it after all you have been through..i feel so lost and hurt and angry...he is a good man and doesnt deserve any of this!!!ok now im venting....sorry...=)i dont know how to make it all fit in my head...please help!

Dear Myfrogs,

I would like to welcome you here at caregivers forum. Sorry to hear about all that your Daddy has gone through with his health and that he has AD. I hope that you will be able to feel less alone knowing that there are other people here who know what you are going through. I can understand how you feel lost, hurt and angry. I was pretty shocked when my Mom was diagnosed (Jan 2005.) I was really hoping it was something else. This disease is alot to process Myfrogs, and if you have any questions please start a post so that people will see it and try to help you.

Peace,
Mimi's Mouse

I hope that his will helps. Click on link below.

www.fathersloveletter.com

My name is Hope,I live in Brandon Fla.with my husband Scott and our daughter Christina.Both my husband and daughter are my ANGELS.

My mom is 82 and diagnosed about 3 years ago with AD. She has been living with us for the past 12 years. I do have a brother,but mom decided to stay with us.

Since July of last year mom got worse. She could not do much of anything,she had good and bad days. It was not an easy decision but we had no choice but to put her in home for her safety.

Well,this my story and I am glad to have new friends that understand what I am going through.

I'm fairly new here, but it feels good to have a place to go to where others understand. I'm 55 and my nickname is Lee, thus Lee55. I live in SE Florida in Palm Beach County with my husband. I have a very empty nest now that my daughter and son are out on their own and thriving, and our beloved maltese mix was put to sleep this past December (heartbreaking for us). My daughter is married and lives in Vermont and my son lives in Manhattan, both successful and independent. No grandchildren yet (drat!). My husband owns a manufacturing business (solar pool heating) and, luckily, I don't work outside the home or I don't know how I would've been able to do all that I do for my elderly parents. For the last 2 1/2 years they have been totally dependent on me. My father is 89 and he has moderate/severe. We recently placed him in an ALF and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it works out. I moved my parents from the mountains of upstate NY to Florida almost three years ago so I could take care of them. I'm glad I can do for them, but there are times -- such as last night -- when I want to scream, but overall I can't complain...my life is good and I'm glad I can be there for my parents who were there for me. At this moment in time, I don't think there is a more important job I could be doing than seeing my parents through to the end in a caring and dignified manner.

I have only posted a few times. My husband, who is 54, was disgnosed last August. He is in the very early stages. I am 40 years old and we have 7 and 9 year old girls. My husband was an Emergency Room Physician and had slowed way down so he wouldn't make mistakes. He is no longer working. I am a microbiologist who hasn't worked in a few years. We are dealing with the very early stages of the disease and the scariness of what is to come. I have hoped to use this forum to find other poeple who have young children and are coping with similar stresses that I am. I have to say that I have been a bit apprehensive because I find most of it a bit scary, however real it may be someday.

My name is Meg and I live in Western Massachusetts. We moved back here to be closer to family because we new that we would be needed. My father is in Albany, New York and is in end stages of AD, I was getting over there a number of times a month to help my two incredible sisters who take care of him 24/7, until my MIL was diagnosed 6 months ago. She was showing signs of it 4 years ago but I could not get her to have an evaluation until recently. We are now in the process of finishing plans to put a second floor on her home so that we can move in to care for her. My husband (her son, our soon to be 18 year old son Andrew, 16 year old dauther Michele and Noah our four year old. Noah is who keeps her smiling right now. I will be her main care giver. After helping care for my Dad, I feel I have a little bit of a heads up on what is to come. (a little bit!) They are all so very different in experiencing this disease. Thank you all for beiing there. I have learned so much already after reading for just a few weeks.

ttt

madaleah...im so sorry to hear of your situation.i know how hard it is for me to see my (step)dad go through all of this and i am near 30.ive tried to explain it too my girls 12 and 7 but they just dont grasp why popo doesnt say their names anymore.i wish the world for you and your children to not have to go through this.all the love and hope in the world..myfrogs...(i lost my biological father at 15 and that was hard too)

Hi All,
I found this forum shortly after my dad died (massive heart attack) and my mom (stage 5/6 AD) moved in with me and my family. I am happily married for 22 years. We have a daughter Nikki (21) and a son Brian (16). We also have a "step-daughter" Lindsay (23) who lives in Dallas and is working in the fashion industry.

Lindsay is a long story, but basically she moved in with us when her mother passed away of cancer. She had been my daughter's best friend and I took care of her mom by seeing her through chemo and radiation. It's a really long story, but anyway, Lindsay became a part of our family.

We live just outside of Pittsburgh, PA where my husband is a blasting engineer, my daughter is a 3rd year student at the University of Pittsburgh and our son is a sophomore in high school. I am a freelance writer, though this 24/7 caregiving has eaten into my writing time considerably. I am really anxious to get back to it.

We are in the process of putting on a first floor addition to our home so that Mom can have her own space. It will be a living room area, a bedroom and a handicap accessible bathroom.

I have one sibling; he is my older brother who isn't much help - I even have to remind him to call once a week. Sigh. But my husband has been a saint. He was especially close to my dad, so he feels this is his way of honoring him.

I'm thrilled to have a place like this to share experiences and gain information. There is nothing like AD to keep a person on their toes!

Betsy, you sound like such a great family! I'm glad you have found us! Blessings

ttt

Hi All,
My name is Mary and thanks for the warm welcome to this group. It is such a comfort to find the online support from people dealing with this disease who know what we are going through and what we will be going through in the future.

My husband Ben is 44 (I am 44 also) and he was diagnosed with EOAD 9 mos ago. We have been married for 22 years, but have known each other since we were 15 and started "dating" then. We have 2 children, a 19 yo daughter and a 16 yo (17 next month) son. We live near Philadelphia PA.

We are still in the early phase of Dr visits and are waiting for a follow up appt (April 12) to get results of his 2nd MRI and a spinal tap (for DNA test). Ben's mother had EOAD and died in a NH at age 41, he also has an older sister and brother that are both in NHs.

We are obviously sad about this but we are both Christians and are going to rely on the Lord to sustain us and give us what we need.

Thanks for being here.
Mary

ttt

Hi - I am Gina - I am 41, married with 2 kids and a big brown Choc lab.and I live in Long Island NY. I have 3 sisters and a brother. My mom passed away from Cancer back in 96. My Dad moved in the house behind me in 1998. He started acting 'weird' years back but we never thought it was alz. He was only diagnosed Jan 05. He is 85. We had a companion staying with him until he broke his hip back in October. He went to rehab for a little over a month and then we brought him home. That only lasted a week because he started hitting, biting and spitting at the caregiver and us. It got so bad he was admitted in the hosp and then he went to a Nursing home. It has been a roller coaster ride ever since. I thought my mom's cancer ordeal was hard (which it was) but not quite like this. My twin and I are the caregivers of my dad. My younger sister lives in Fl, my brother lives about 2 hours away and my olders sister lives about an hour away. He never comes to see my dad. My older sister doesn't come much either. My younger sister does every time she comes up. So the burden is on me and my twin. He doesn't even know we are twins anymore - sometimes he doesn't know us at all. Many times he tells us how much he loves us and how proud of us he is. Last time we were there he said, fist to his heart 'just keep me alive - and I don't mean alive alive, just keep me alive in here'. That is something he never has to worry about. He is my strength, my savior, my protector, my promoter, my safety net, the person I know who will love me forever and completely no matter what. He is my Dad. And I couldn't be more proud.

Hi, I'm Denise and I'm 48 yrs. old. I live in Blue Bell, PA with my husband Bob and two children - Amy 16 and Peter 12. I'm helping my stepmom along with my sister Lynn and brother Tom to provide care for my dad who is 79 yrs. old. I have a brother Jim in Texas who flys in sometimes and helps out. My dad was finally diagnosed with AD in August 2005. My aunt recently died of AD and it was very tough watching her in the end so my heart goes out to those who are watching loved ones at this stage. At this point my dad is mostly between stage 4 and 5. I don't post often, but I'm really getting much from reading the posts and advice from those of you much further along this journey. You are so very supportive.

I am Charlotte (Char). I live in Idaho, in the Valley. My sister was diagnosed not long ago. Her daughter, my niece, lives near her and helps. I am older by three years. My neice works and I am afraid this will be too much for her. I would like my sister to come live with me. My niece thinks I'm too old (78). She says it nicely though. I miss my sister.

ttt

My name is Barb. My husband and I will soon have our 42nd wedding anniversary and we live in Indianapolis. I have one son who is 46 who lives in Columbus, OH. I taught public school music and was a counselor for 14 years before getting into real estate sales and management. I am a member of several fine vocal groups in Indianapolis and one of my greatest joys is singing. My husband is also a professional musician - a fine jazz pianist having been taught piano by his Mom when he was just 4 years old. AD entered our lives about 3 years ago, although in retrospect, probably sooner than that. It has progressed so rapidly that he is quickly becoming dependent on me for even simple things like getting dressed and changing TV channels. He has not been able play the piano for almost 2 years and that makes me very sad. So much beautiful music and creativity locked inside that head! In January I resigned by management position in order to have more time with him. I am continuing to work part-time. This forum is truly a godsend.

Hi, my name is Dot and I live in a small town outside of Boston. I have been taking care of my husband (married 51 years). He has had AD for about 6 years (although on looking back I think it may be a little longer). We have no children but between us many, many nieces and nephews, and wonderful siblings. Currently, we are waiting for the call that a bed is available for him in NH. I have done nothing but cry and cry for days but health issues and care issues deem placement necessary. He is still the same sweet, gentle person - never have I ever heard him say an unking word about anyone - this disease is so unfair!

I love reading everyone's stories. Thank you.

ttt

Hi all,
I just realized I had not responded in this forum to this post.
I am 50, married 18yrs(Aug), have 2 boys, 16(just got his license!), and 11(the type who puts paper in the computer CD drive).
MIL was diagnosed Jan 2004. She will be 85 in Aug. She now lives 2.5 hours away with SIL.
I am a stay-at-home Mom, which is why you may see me logged on all day, checking between chores and errands. I am rarely with my MIL these days, due to SIL cutting off communication and acting just plain odd. I have not seen Mom since Christmas, but do send cards and have phone conversations weekly. My parents live up north. My Dad has alot of health problems, and I think he has been showing signs of AD, but they keep putting off having him checked for it.I have a wonderful Sister who lives 30 min. away, and a Brother in OK.
Maebee

HI! MY NAME IS TERRIE AND I MOSTLY JUST READ EVERYONE'S POST BECAUSE THEY HELP ME ALOT! I AM 42 AND HAVE ONE DAUGHTER AGE 13, SHE IS A BLESSING TO ME, BIG HELP!! TOGETHER WE CARE FOR MY PARENTS.... DAD WHO IS 82 WITH LUNG CANCER AND MOM 74 WITH AD. MOM WAS DIAGNOSED TWO YEARS AGO, BUT HAD SYPTOMS WAY BEFORE THAT, MAYBE IN STAGE 5 OR 6 NOW. LIFE IS ALWAYS FULL OF CHALLANGES IN OUR HOUSE BUT MY JESUS BRINGS ME THROUGH THEM ALL!!

MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL WITH THE WISDOM AND GRACE TO HANDLE EVERY SITUATION THAT COMES WITH THIS NASTY DISEASE.

TERRHAY928@AOL.COM

Hi all and thank you for doing this. I agree with Carol B that it should be put up with the disclaimers at the top.

My name is Marilyn and I'm 31. I live with my husband and 2 daughters (1.5 & 4). We have a dog (who is the only one that listens to me), 2 cats & 2 rabbits. I'm a licensed verterinary technician who no longer practices due to raising a family. I rasie my girls during the day, have a part time job 3 nights a week and Saturdays, train dogs one night after work, and try to help my dad take care of my mom.

My mom has vascular dementia & AD. She is 70 and my dad is caring for her in their home. He's 74. I'm the youngest of six kids. I've been listed as their patient advocate due to my medical background (even if it's with animals). I'm the one doing the research going to the appointments and reporting back to the rest of the family. I make a point of making sure everyone knows what's going on so that I can get help when it's needed. Getting my siblings help is like pulling teeth, but after some harsh words they jump on board. I just wish it didn't have to come to that!

My mother was always a very abrasive, arguementative, independant woman. We fought most of my life before her decline. Now she's very quiet and reserved. She doesn't say much at all. She can still take care of herself but she doesn't understand her limitations. She doesn't understand why she can't drive anymore.

This disease confuses me often. Although she can't name 10 fruits, cut her toe nails, retain what's she's read, answer the phone/make a call, cook a meal, or write her address. Once she got lost in their house trying to find the bedroom. She can dress herself, do laundry, clean her fish bowl and take care of her fish. She's on a bowling league, she plays cards, goes to dinners with friends and golfs. It's so weird to see her decline rapidly in some areas but not in others. She has a lot of people who care about her and deal very well with her. And for that I am thankful.

-Marilyn

Hi,

I'm Anita and I joined this forum on April 1 - no foolin'! I'm 52 and the daughter-in-law of an AD patient. I thought I was insane with 4 dogs and 1 cat, but Nanc's 9 dogs make me feel better.

I'm a Web master for a small, not-for-profit university in SE lower MI. I have 3 kids, a daughter-in-law, and 3 grandkids.

My MIL has progressed from stage 3 to stake 6 in 3 months. I just wonder how much longer it's going to linger.

Good luck to you all.

Hi my name is Kathy

I am 55 years old and I live in California. I live with my husband Jim and my Mom who is 85 years old has alzheimers and is blind.

I work full time and my mom goes to a alzheimers daycare center while I work so my day goes something like this. I get up at 4:30 am every morning and get ready for work then get mom ready for daycare. I start work at 7:30 and get off at 4:30. Then I pick up mom from daycare, go home, get dinner, get both mom and me ready for bed. After mom goes to bed I stay up for a while just for some alone time.
Then I go to bed and it starts all over again.

I do not have a lot of spare time for myself or my husband but I love my mom and will do all I can to care for her as long as I am able.

I am diabetic so there are a few health issues with me but I get by.

I have one cat that is great for comic relief. My brother lives in Chicago so he cannnot help with mom but I know if he lived closer he would.

I just started coming into this site this month and it has been a tremendous help to me. Just reading what you all write makes me feel like I am not alone.

God Bless you and your loved one.

ttt

This is such a wonderful idea! It is great to be able to read about all of our similarities, as well as our differences!
Anyway, I am Julie King. I am 39 and live in Washington state with my two girls, 13 & 16 and my husband Bruce. He has early onset alz. He is an only child so I also take care of both of his parents who both have Alz. too. They are both in a care facility, but I have P.O.A. and do all the extra running and things for them. I also own a small business, so I am usually running at full speed and am always one step away from a nervous breakdown{ha-ha} This forum has been so encouraging to me, although I only have the time to visit sporatically.

We have a lot of new faces on the board. Please take a moment to tell us about yourself.

My mother is in latter stages of AD. It began about 7 years ago. She still speaks, but is losing many words and has trouble making a complete sentence more times than not. She and my dad live about 20 min. from me. They are both "only children" and most all of relatives are deceased.

Dad is 24/7 caregiver. I am his "break". I go several times a week, but not for long at a time (because I am full time caregiver to MIL). One brother lives in Oklahoma. One lives 5 min. away from our parents. He is not as helpful as he was in the past. It is easier to just do things without talking to him. (the short version)

My mother in law moved in with my family "for the weekend" in Aug. 05 after a fall. Tests for AD were negative, but did qualify for "dementia" (on Aricept.) She is falling a lot. Mother's Day weekend May '06, my husband and sil finally talked with her about living here permanently. House goes up for sale soon.
We have 2 children: son is 7 & daughter is 9 yrs. and we have 2 cats.

Hello everyone
I've been lurking for months, visiting and finding strength in your collective wisdom, and thought this would be a good time to finally post.

I'm 52, single, and have been caring for my 84-year-old mother, who was diagnosed with AD in January of 2005. I have my own home nearby but moved in with my mother "temporarily" at that time and have been living with her since the diagnosis. My father died very suddenly of congestive heart failure in Nov. 1999, and, looking back, I can see my mother's mental decline beginning shortly after that. She is still able to dress herself, but has lost interest in just about everything she used to do--she just sits in the same place on the sofa every day and stares at her hands. I have a paid companion who comes in for a few hours each day while I'm at work.

I work full-time in a university library and am also a part-time grad student in American Civilization. People wonder why I would bother with grad studies when I'm so involved in my mother's care--I absolutely need to have something of my own that has nothing to do with Alzheimer's. I take one class each semester and have cordoned off that little square of my life. Interestingly, when I told my advisor of my home situation he told me that both he and his wife were going through similar situations with their parents. So I know he understands when a paper is late!

I'm keeping all of you people in my heart and prayers. Thank you all for being here.

Deb
My caregiver blog: The Yellow Wallpaper

Hi my name is Cheri and my mom just turned 60. she is the middle of stage 6 and we were only told for sure of AD one year ago. She has early onset and boy oh boy has it gone fast. In the last year she does not drive,she needs help bathing does not cook needs help getting dressed does not know the day time year etc.
I grew up with just my mom and a sister and bother. She raised us all by herself. I miss the way her nails used to look taken care of I miss the way she would smell. I miss her cooking our wonderfuls meals that we wanted on our birthday. I miss the way she loved my kids and missed them if she didn't see them in a couple days. I miss her passion the passion she had for her yard her flowers. Her passion for making sure that you know that she loved you! I miss her passion as a grandmother and so do my girls 10 and 13. I most of all I miss my mom. Yes she is still there but it is not her it is her shell. Her passion is gone, Her cooking is done,her passion for her flowers are gone. But me and my sister will not allow those things to die we do her flowers we cook for her we love her the way she has loved us! She may a shell but she is our shell and we will never give up and will always love her no matter what.

My name is Anita and my hubsnd and I are both 63. We just learned about 3 months ago that my husband is diagnosed with possible dementia. We did have tests to rule out treatable causes. We are scheduled for further testing at the University of Florida in September. This appointment will not only be a second opinion but also for the purpose of trying to determine what type of dementia we may be dealing with. I am learning a lot from this and other groups and am especially looking for others that are just starting on this journey. We live in central Florida with family in Indiana and Ohio. Sure wish they were closer to us now.

My name is January and Im in Illinois. I am 49 and have been married 22 years. I have two sons (from a previous marriage) one who is married and is about to have his 3rd daughter..the lights of my life !! The other son is still looking...my mother has been showing symptoms of AZ for about 6-8 years -getting worse all the time and in March drove herself to the ER and within two days was hallucinating etc. and has improved some - but was admitted to a care facility after her hospital stay. Some days are pleasant enough..some days are unbelievable. I have 'phone' support from my brothers and a sister who is the youngest that is either in denial or (and I belive this is the real reason) doesn't care. She's too busy to visit...but Im sure will show up in the end for the will reading.(No bitterness here!) I do the best I can. This disease seems to be hereditary in our family with Ggrandmother, grandmother, and now mom...I am setting an example for my children by doing the right thing.. because I should...and just in case I'm next.

My name is Diana and I live in Southern California. My Stepmom was diagnosed with AZ over two years ago. Two years ago, May 2004 I moved in with my Dad and Mom to help my dad take care of her. Dad's 83 and doing fair to meddlin for an 83 year old man. Hazel turns 83 in June, she is now fully incontinent, unable to dress herself, but able to feed herself when we put food in front of her. she hits herslef almost constantly now and goes to bed as often as she can get back to the bedroom. We have the home locked down, and are currently beginning the full time care process. My dad is there everyday, and I take over as much as possible evenings and on Sunday. Sunday is his day to go to church and out to lunch with friends and then to a Bible study in the evening. My brothers all live out of state or the area. They call dad on a regualr basis, but can only come for visits once or twice a year.

I'm just realizing how important this forum can be to us. My dad hanldes all this with prayer and the faith he has had for most of his life,, me, I need someone to talk with.

God Bless all of you, incomparison, we have it pretty easy. And with my dad, we laugh at as much as possiable. To quote his words to mom "God bless you sweetheart, we're here , don't worry, we're here to help you"
God Bless you all
Diana

Hi, my name is Michelle and my mom was just diagnosed in March. She is 56 and we had her move in with us (Hubby, 2 kids (18 and 11) 3 cats, 3 dogs and 3 frogs). I am not sure how long she will be living with us because she seems to be getting worse with things. My husband and I both work full time so this is a real challenge and adjustment for everyone. I am truly frustrated and am wondering if maybe we should put her in an assisted living facility. I just don't know and hopefully it will help talking to people who are experiencing the same type of situation.

I am Emma, soon to be 60. Live in Maine w/husb 75 with alz. He was diagnoised abt 2 1/2 yrs ago & still doing very well indeed--at least most of the time.
I have a son & daughter both in their 30's & 4 grandchildren who live close by. I work full time as a collection manager at our local hospital.
I have two stepdaughters who live out of state with their families. 2 step grandkids both grown, and 3 step great grandkids.
I havn't noticed many posters who are from Maine--anyone out there?

Hi All! As you might have guessed, my name is Stacy. My dad has EOAD, and my mom is his full-time caregiver. He's about a late stage 5 or early 6, and most of our problems are with aggression and him wanting to do what he wants to do. Every day he tells us he's getting better. I live about 5 minutes from my parents, and spend lots of time there since my mom and I have a small bakery business that we run out of her house. My dad will be 62 in August, and I would estimate he's probably had AD since he was 57 or 58. At least, that's when we noticed things changing.
I have two children, Dylan (almost 8) and Hailey, who's just six months. My fiance and I also race standardbred harness horses. He is the trainer and driver, and I am occassionally the groom. Right now we have 7 horses racing, and two retired cripples.
Thanks to all who post here for the great information and neverending support. God Bless!

Hello. I am the youngest daughter of my father (age 64) who was diagnosed about 2 yrs. ago with EOAD. I'd rather not disclose my real name because I would hate to ever hurt my mother. I am a buyer for a large retailer in Florida and my parents are in TN. I am married with two dogs (no children is another story due to my own medical issues with endometriosis).
My mother is a wonderful person underneath it all but Dad has always paid for the fact that he was an alchoholic the first 8 years of their marriage. Actually all of us who are close to her pay regardless...... But I do love her! You can't pick them.
I am the youngest of 5 children (ages 30-46)and the glue of the family. Of course there is always turmoil between Mom and her children so I try to keep everyone together and happy. My 2 brothers and one sister distance themselves from the family and also the situation with Dad. My sister and I, who is 11 yrs older, are very close and try to support my Mother emotionally and each other. In addition this sister has two young adopted children and one has cerebral palsy. She is also going through a divorce. Never a dull moment in our family.
I have always been my father's rock. We are inseparable and I adore him. He has been more mothering to me for my entire life and he has always shared his life and feelings with me. He has always provided for me as well as my 4 siblings(who are actually from my mother's previous marriage).
At this time Dad is having a difficult time articulating and caring on a conversation. In the past couple of months he has had to quit his part time job and driving. Other than occasional dilusions he is doing relatively well. Dad lived with my husband and I for about a year 3 years ago and went back with Mom after having a heart attack while he was here. Boy was I glad I could care for him then. I feel he knows that I will always be there for him. I just wish I was not so far away and know I will struggle with this even more as he declines.
At this point in my life I struggle with my Dad's future, how my Mom will handle things and my own marriage. Not sure if the marriage problems stem from what I am facing but I am trying everything I can to keep it together.
I look forward to reading the posts and gaining so much insight from each of you!!! It helps to escape sometimes and I know that I will need all of you more than I know as this journey continues.
God doesn't give us more than we can handle and everything happens for a reason...

Hi, my name is Ruth and I have been getting much help the last few months by reading the posts, but have not posted til now. My husband has been suffering (me too!) from dementia since 1999, maybe earlier. He is 62 now and was a math professor then. Now he can't do first grade addition. He is diabetic as well and I quit work in 2002 to manage that since he wasn't able to do the checks and shots and meals anymore. He has grown progressively worse over the years, but the decline has accelerated in the past few months to the point that I had to hospitalize him for medication adjustment last month. He is in a nursing home now until I see if he will be able to live at home again. He had been thrown out of day care and aggressive with home care workers and I was unable to get him to let me give his shots and meds for a few days before the hospital. He HATES being cooped up- he was an almost constant walker, but has adjusted better that I would have thought to being in the nursing home. I think he is in late stage 6. Has anyone successfully brought someone home after their being in care? Anyway, our kids are grown and out of state and there is no other family in the area except for his mother, whom I also am responsible for. It is great to read about all you wonderful caregivers and to feel I almost know you. I can really indentify with so many of the posts. What a great support group!

Hi, I'm Lynnedolyn (Lynne). I joined and posted a few days ago. I'm 43 and the mother of 2 wonderful young men, ages 23 & 24. The youngest moved out a year ago, is married and making me a grandma-due in Dec. My oldest returned from Iraq this past Jan. (delpoyed for 14 months-worst time of my life). He has just moved out, doing well and getting back to his life. I care for my 83 year old grandmother (granny), my dad's mom, full time! She was diagnosed with AZ in 2002. I live next door to her (only 50 running steps from door to door!). I can finally find the time, energy and strength to participate in a support group and learn more about AZ. Thanks for being so welcoming!