ttt

Hello, my name is Catherine(51). My husband and I care for my mother(75). We've been married 5 years and after our first anniversary sold our house and moved in with mom. Dad passed away 7 years ago and after looking back he shadowed mom disease from all of us. I thought she was forgetting and being depressed because of his death, after 9 months and things getting worse I took her to a doctor. Type II diabetes along with Alzheimers. From what I can determine she has been declining with AD around 11 years after she had 2 major surgerys back to back for a cancerous breast lump. Only under went radiation. Thinking it was fatigue and dad's illness and death, this had changed all our lives.

Hb has been great with mom, as he has told me several times, he knew what he was getting before we got married and this is just part of the package. God blesses me with him everyday, there would have been no way I would have managed this without him.

I have an older sister who lives about 275miles from here and unable to help except in prayer. She has taken mom about 6 times in the last 3 yrs. Last time she saw mom was after Christmas and before that was in July. She does not call but will email every other month or so. To say the least, it has been very discouraging. I decided some time ago we all make choices, we don't have to agree with those choices but we can still love them as God's children and prayer for them. That is how I'm handling the situation with my sister. It is her loss that she doesn't experience these remaining years in someway with mom.

I ended a 20 yrs optical career for medical reasons and started caregiving, hb row crops with a farmer outside of town. Because mom place was alot larger than ours and had some land I started market farming. The farming and selling has been my refuge and sanctuary. This year will pose a challenge but this past fall we were blessed with a lady who comes and sits with mom when I need to go to support groups or run errands. She recently loss her son(22) to celebral palsy(4 yrs ago) and needed to find something to do and knew mom when she'd see her at the local restaurant and sat and listened to repetative stories of her past. She'd been missing her and she saw mom with me at the Farmers Market and we began to talk and she offered to help. I took her up on the offer and she has been a true blessing to me. We have been discussing how I'm going to get the garden planted and she said she'd come and sit with mom or take her to her house until I get it done...God is so good.

Support Groups and this message board has also been my refuge. Sharing with others that are facing or have faced this terrible disease is encouraging. I came into this caregiving position kicking and screaming so to speak, this isn't how I thought I'd be spending my 'retirement' years. God is with us and he will guide us through it and we know this won't be forever, I will do my best to keep mom safe and as comfortable as possible to the end.

I look forward getting to know you all.

Katerin 55( yeow) Sped teacher for 29 years Part time Floral designer- own business in my home...wanna be Artist, Writer
Daddy just passed away a week or so ago. Mom has AD, Diabetes, Lupus.
Live in Virginia Beach. One crazy doggy dog.
Who am I ?? Dk these days

Hi, My name is Barbara, age 57, married for 36 years and have 4 children( 3 boys all married, and a daughter age 22, still at home) My husband has AD, age 59, and also is bipolar for 22 years. He also has diabetes, macular degeneration, and extremely high trig.and cholesterol. My husband works at the local detention center and was recently demoted because of his memory problems. He still works, but it is a struggle for him. He only drives to and from work. Can't drive in the dark, and gets lost, so I drive all the rest of the time.
My husband is also a watercolor artist and we have exhibited at various art & craft shows for the last 17 years, but this year is the year of change for us. We must stop the shows because he no longer has the stamina or desire to continue on. He has won numerous awards and it saddens me what this disease is doing to him.I am at a crossroads as to how I will keep up with our bills without any shows. The medical and pharmacy bills are a real problem. I can't go out and work because of only having one car and my husband absolutely can't manage when I am not a home when he is here. For the last 2 years I have been doing all the work around the house, and taking care of the cars, lawn, small repairs, etc. My husband has always done this and it has been quite an adjustment for me, but I am a positive person,and rely on the Lord for direction in all things. I also have a bipolar son, who is managed with meds so far and twin grandsons (2 months old) a 2 year old grandson, 1 year old grandaughter and 7 year old granddaughter. I have a very full life and household. Always busy and always something going on. My parents are still living and well and ages 84. I see them each week. They live 1 hour away.
I have been helped so much by many of you and have used many suggestions that have been given to me. I thank you for that and know that there is a place I can go for help and support.
Barb

I'm Keya (51) and am married (3.8.75) to my sweetheart, Casey (53). We live in Montana and have two cats. Just recently lost my precious CJ (Seal-Point Siamese) to breast cancer, and another kitty, Giz, to renal failure & diabetes a few years ago. We also have 5 grown kids and 8 grandkids.... our youngest (26) has been trying to push the envelope a lot lately and has me currently stressed to the max.

Hubby and I moved my mom in to live with us on 6.25.05. Mom is 78 years young and is in stage 6/7 Alzheimer's. She doesn't know that I'm her daughter but thinks of me as her best friend. Mom lived in California most of her life and was placed in an assisted living facility by my aunt a few years ago after my, now ex, brother abused mom physically and financially while he was her care giver. Mom was moved twice in the last couple years and was last living in a private assisted living home when my aunt became overwhelmed and unable to care for my mom. My aunt cared for my mom's needs as long as she could, but due to poor health and other family issues on my aunt's part my husband and I were called and asked to come and bring mom home to live with us in Montana.

We settled into an easy-going routine and mom seemed to be getting used to her new surroundings. I needed to prompt or do just about everything for mom. She sundowns in the evening, otherwise mom is mostly agreeable and pleasant. Most of the time she seems like a child of about 3 or 4 years old. Mom's medications include aricept, namenda, hctz, senna, colace, prilosec & aleve.

Mom collapsed while we were out shopping, 9.6.05, and was hospitalized. Mom's doctor advised mom needed more care than I could manage. Mom was placed in a secure alz/dementia facility on 9.8.05. Mom is still very confused and, after a few months, seems to be settling in well at the facility. The facility is over 90 miles away from where we live. We visit mom at least once a week and always take her Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, her favorite!

Mom was found to have h pilori after a two day hospital stay (10.24.05). Mom was given a 10-day triple therapy of amoxicillin, clarithromycin & protonix. She responded well to this therapy and now her stomach is relatively pain free Mom still has pain from arthritis and has become depressed. I have an appt for her with the nerologist on Thursday, 2.16.06, and will discuss these issues at that time.

Hi everyone .. it is wonderful and touching getting to know all of you .
I'm Twiggy ( my nickname from my dad for as long as I can remember ) I live in IL. With my wonderful husband , 3 dogs and two cats ! I am a hairstylist and my hubbie is a carpenter .I have a sister who lives out of state and a brother close by .
Three years ago my mom had a series of mini strokes or a stroke that we were unaware of until .. she became very forgetful , was falling , hallucinating and so on . She was diagnosed with Multi Infarct Dementia . As a result of the stroke she also became an epilectic . She was in a NH for 3 months for rehab . It took a year to get her siezure meds balanced . She was back in the NH a year later for more rehab after an ulcer set her back . My dad had 24/7 home health care for her until he passed away suddenly last March (it's hard to believe he has been gone nearly a year ) We continued home health for mom for roughly six more months . She now resides in an ALF near me and is quite content . I see her everyday . She is my rock and I her's , as we say . Her Dr calls her a miracle .. she is forgetful , and needs a walker but she is doing amazingly well . After her diagnoses 3 years ago , I thought she would be further advanced by now . We are blessed that she is not .
I want to say thank you to all of you here .. I found this site shortly after mom's diagnose's .. with out the support and friendships here I would truly be lost . This is an amazing community .
Hugs to all of you ,
Twiggy

This message has been edited. Last edited by: twiggy,

My first name is Charlotte and I live in Lufkin, TX. My husband, Jim, has EOAD, diagnosed at 55 (he's now 58) but we think it started around age 50. He's probably at the end of Stage 5 and moving rapidly. We have 3 sons, 37, 31, and 27; 3 granddaughters who are the lights of my life.

I really enjoy reading the posts but am not able to be on-line as often as I'd like b/c it upsets Jim for me to spend much time on the computer. He always thinks I'm researching him. I've really learned a lot here and everyone is great!

I'm Anne, with and e..ha ha and almost 50. I live in PA with my husband, 13 yo daughter and 78 year old mother with AD. Mom's had AD and has lived with us over 10 years now. She is in the advanced stages. I am her fulltime caregiver and get little respite. We all use humor to keep us sane around here.

My name is Eileen and my FIL recently (02/01) passed away. He was diagnosed with Pick's disease (frontal temporal lobe dementia) which is somewhat simmilar to AD. It accounts for only 1% to 5% of all types of dementia. I found this site only three weeks before his sudden death and the people on this forum have been awesome. Even when he passed, there were responses form people that I had not "chatted" with before.
I live with Bryan (my man) and my kids, Kaitlyn (8yrs.) and Joseph (5yrs.) in Gilbert, AZ. We also have a cat (Nemo) and a Doberman (Dakota).

That's my story...short and sweet!

Hi, I'm Barbara, age 57, married 36 years, my husband age 59 has AD. He still works, but with great difficulty. He works at the local detention center and has recently been demoted due to memory problems. He also has macular degeneration, diabetes, numerous other medical problems. He is a wonderful talented watercolor artist and has been exhibiting his work for 17 years at various art & craft shows and has won numberous awards for his work. We have done 40 shows each year for the past 17 years and this is the year of change. He said he can no longer do the shows because he just doesn't have the stamina. Since this a major part of our income, this decision can't be taken lightly. He is also bipolar and managed on meds. I have basically taken over all household repairs, that I can do, car repair appts. lawn care, financial affairs, etc. He is unable to do any of the things that he once enjoyed. He does drive, but only to & from work. He can't drive in the dark or rain and gets confused and agitated very easly. Needs help with clothing choices, meds, etc. I have 4 children , 3 boys married and living in the area and 1 daughter still living at home, 4 grandchildren, including 2 month old twins. My life is very busy, but the main situation here at the present time is the art business and where to go from here. I can go out & work, but we have only one car and I need to be home with him when he is here. I am a positive person and look to the Lord for guidance in all matters.
This forum has been a blessing to me. I have received much help and support and the information here has been wonderful. I appreciate all the people that has helped me and I would like to participate in the chats, but since they are in the evening, this is impossible for me. Thanks to all that have helped me.
Barb
Lgthousart@comcast.net

My name is Barb. I live in Indianapolis with my husband and Ruby - my cat. I have one son who is 45 and lives in Columbus Ohio. I have been a Realtor for over 30 years after a career as a school teacher and counselor. My husband and I are both musicians and music is still a very important part of our lives. My husband is a fine jazz pianist who has had to give up playing because of AD. It appears he has had declining abilities for about 3 years and it is moving very rapidly. He is at home, attends adult day care three days a week and pretty much takes care of himself with lots of supervision! It's difficult to know what stage he is in because no two days are the same! Some days he says "I love you, Barb" and some days he asks my name! My prayers are for wisdom, guidance, patience and laughter.

What a wonderful idea, getting to know each other. Thanks for the opportunity to do so.
My name is Donna, I am soon (too soon!) turning 59. I have one grown son and a close daughter in law. My grand daughter, soon to be 5, is my heart! I live a couple of miles from them.
I was widowed 25 years ago. I have been in a realtionship for 11 years, to a wonderful man. Two years ago he wanted to go to Michigan to be caregiver to his parents. His father died a year ago and he brought his mother here (Houston) to take care of her. When he moved, I moved into my own place, not knowing the outcome. We spend weekends together with his mother (80 years) and I take care of my parents, 83 and 84. My dad was diagnosed with AD 4 years ago. I suspect my mother has it too, but she will not be tested. I am going to move them to Houston, they live an hour away, and live with them. One of four children, I am the primary (only!!) caregiver.
I am glad to have this forum and will need it more and more, I am sure.
xoxo

ttt

I am only a support system, but I come here to learn about AZ so I can be a better one.

My SIL who wonderful, takes care of my MIL, her mom. She is in a Nuring Home now because she is became just too violent. My SIL is a foster mom and usually has 3 or 4 foster kids, and two of her own. She is truly gifted in this. The kids in her house make unbelievable progress. She is very patient and kind.

I feel she is my true sister. I am an only child, and lost both my parents last year in November and December, 1 month aprart, and she helped so much in spite of all she has to do. My parents ended up in hospitals at the same time in different towns. She and her daughters spent time with my dad when I couldn't be there. He had demenia at the end, but luckily it was only a short time, and he was mostly sweet, he just wanted to go home.

She has suffered a lot of abuse from this horrible disease, so I just want to do anything can to help her and support her. Mostly I just listen and give her pep talks, since we are not too close in distance. I tell her lots of stories from here, so she will know that certain actions are normal for ALZ and part of the disease, which hopefully helps.

Hi to all,
My name is W. Chris Owens.I am 56 years oldand I live in Wisconsin with my beautiful wife and now my Mother-In- Law who has moved in with us after her husband died in October of 2005. We have 1 daughter, married with no kids of her own. She would love to have one but has another troubling diseasecalled PCOS, Polycistic Ovarian Syndrom.
My Mom is the Family member with Altzeimers and I lost My Dad on New Years Day of this year suddenly to a heart attack. Lots of changes around here in a short time and now my main, no our main, objective is to somehow keep Mom at home. We have decided to go with private care effective Mar. 1 with Dad's insurance policy and sale of his car and just pray to God on a daliy basis. I failed to mention I come from a Family of 8 Kids, actually 9 as one died at birth. My youngest sister now has Mom at her home and with all our help has taken on the extrordinary challenge. I can tell you we are a very determined bunch.
Anyway that is Me and my Family

My name is Jennifer,I am 31 years old with twin girls who are 7. I help my grandmother in the care taking of my grandfather who was diagnosed around 2 years ago. I would say we are between stages 6-7. We recently visited the idea of putting him in a nursing home and that was a hard decision to make and follow through with. As of now we are taking him to a new doctor who specializes in Alz. I recommend that if you haven't made sure your primary care phy. is not specializing in Alz. you seek second opinions. After one day with the new meds my grandfather talked to me more with more understanding then he has in about a month. He is still confused but he just had that light back in his eyes I have missed so much. For a minute it really felt like I had him back.

We live in White House, TN. I live about 5 minutes from their home so I am there quite often and I give her frequent breaks when she needs to get out. Care giver fatigue is real and I try and offer to keep him at least 2 days a week so she can get a much needed break.

I am so thankful for this board, it has a wealth of information and just knowing that my family is not alone in it's suffering is a blessing. I pray for each and every one of you and your families and for a cure for this god forsaken illness.

Jennifer

Hi,
My name is Tommie and I am the caregiver for my husband of 55years. We have 4 children, twelve grandchildren, three great grandchildren with another on the way in April. I work full time as personnel mgr for our local Wal Mart. I am almost an Okie From Muskogee, we live just a few miles away. I want to learn all I can about this terrible alz. You are all an inspiration to me to be a better care giver. At this point my husband is pretty easy to care for.

Hi everyone
My name is Vickie,I am 55 my husband is 57. Married soon to be 40 yrs. Our only child a daughter,Angela, died 11 yrs ago in a car crash. My mother died 3 yrs later from a heart attack. I am an only child myself and caring for my 76 yr old dad who was dx with AD 2 yrs ago.

He is living with us now and with the meds he is currently on, he is doing pretty good.
I am new to this board and am learning all I can and appreciate you sharing your experiences and look forward to getting to know each of you.

Hey Rose, I feel for you and know your flustration, I'm new at this, my mom and I, I'm the only child, lost my dad two years ago, and now mom has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia, it's in the first stages but the Dr. put her in the rest home as I can't care for her. But I do all the running and check on her often, she is in the notion of going back to her home, but they tell me no. So I'm in denial, sometimes she shows signs of the disease, but then other times she's back to her old self, anyway I feel guilty that we are keeping her in the rest home although I know she would not be safe living alone. It's quite a roller coaster world isnt' it??? Bless you for all you are doing, you are a brave person for undertaking all you do. Just thought I would tell you.

quote:

Originally posted by rose101:
hi im rose..and i live in worcester,ma..i am a caregiver for my mother ..who is 92 yrs old
i am the only caregiver..i just joined today.
really need ppl to talk to..im 53 yrs old..have 2 children ..who are grown..one of which is still at home..my son

well i do everything for my mom..except bathing..we have aides, but i help out with it also..she doesnt walk anymore or feed herself..its very hard..she doesnt even know who i am.sure hope i can find some friends here ..to help me feel..human again..im very lost

my best friend moved to tenn...she use to help me so much..but now its been a yr and i feel so alone..no one understands
cant go anywhere.except thursdays..i get 4hrs off..big deal..no car so how far can i go

dont know what else to add..just want to get to know ppl with the same problem..i've been on other boards but not for this disease

thanks

Hi, I'm Stacey. I'm 46 and feel like I'm 60. I've ignored my kids, my husband and my work...I feel like I am at my limit. Friday I go in for a complete physical (Thank you Bama for the reminder to take care of myself).

I'm sure my story is familiar. Mom (80) was diagnosed with AD 5/6 years ago. She is on Aricept and Namenda and most days doesn't know who I am or who "that man" (dad) is. Dad is the primary care giver (84, poor physical heath, also on Aricept and diagnosed with "memory problems"). In the last four months he has made a number of poor decisions. My sister and I are beside ourselves with worry. Although mom & dad are "independent" the fact is that we are constantly responding to every little crisis. We went through a Coping with Dememtia program at the local hospital, and sadly even the professional was unable to get dad to acknowledge he needed help (though it's somehow ok to keep the kids running!). Dad will absolutly not plan, i.e. future living arrangements. He will not even allow us to bring in someone to bath mom, dispite the fact she has not had a bath in 4 weeks.

On the up side we are in communication with their doctor and keeping him posted. Several years ago they signed the HIPPA forms that allow us to talk. We also have POA in place, but not yet executed.

I love my parents, I want to help them, but I'm not going to sacrifice my family for someone who repeatedly refuses my help. So why do I feel so guilty?

quote:

So why do I feel so guilty?

Stacy,
You feel guilty because you WANT to help...but you are only one person. Do what you can, help where you can, do what you think is best...but DO take care of yourSELF and YOUR family.

When your Dad is incapable to continue to care for Mom, then step in with your POA and make the appropriate arrangements. Until then, let the Peace of God guide you.

Hi I’m Eileen – 43, married 3 yrs, no kids, 12 ½ yr old ‘puppy’ Spanky. One of 6 surviving siblings – all live within an hour’s drive from parents. Mom, dad and youngest brother live together in a third floor apartment.
Dad was officially diagnosed 5 yrs ago – is currently between stages 4-5-6. Some days are better than others. Twice a week I do driving duty, doctors appointments, shopping, laundry, and home cleaning.

Came on board this site in April 2005 – the day Dad choked Mom and wouldn’t let go. Luckily my brother was there to push him off her. At the time didn’t know much about Alzheimer’s and didn’t care. My Dad’s always been a sick man, mentally and physically abusive – this disease was just another “issue” with him.

Now, I feel differently. I try to understand him, not necessarily forgive. I also want to have some semblance of a ‘relationship’ with him before he dies.

Strangely, the Alzheimer’s experience has brought me closer to him and has made me a better person.
I think I have more patience.

My name is Teresa, I'm 51 yrs old, mother of 4 (ages 31-18). Live in Silver Springs, Fl. (the tc4alaska is just to keep a dream alive) I have been full time caretaker for Mom (71yrs)w/5-6 stage Alz since 1/04. Started getting involved w/dad's care in 12/03 when Dad was bad w/dementia. Had just gotten my ins agents lic 5 months before. Job tried to work w/me but missed too much work the first month. (didn't realize how bad mom was until I lived there)After a few weeks put dad in a facility as he was violent. His dementia not alz - was cancer of brain & lungs - lost him 8/04. (2 days after Hurricane Charlie) Had the two youngest children with me when I moved in w/Mom but they have now both left. I pushed them to leave as it was not fair to them to put up with her dogging them. (Not the alz- always hated them) Divorced 12/04, not due to caregiving. Moved from Lee county (St James City, Fl) last June to be close to mom's oldest sister. Closest relatives are a brother who lives in GA and a niece who lives in Ft. Myers,FL. Other than a program caregiver who comes twice a week for 2 hrs I am the one who takes care of mom. Teresa

Thank you Chris.

hi! there are still so many of you I've yet to meet!
my name is Kristie, I'm 26.and now in a point in my life where I haven't a clue what I want to do. while my grams is now in a assisted living/nursing home, I had taken care of her for almost 6 yrs. my mom had to work, and I was only working part time no one else was willing or able to help so I stepped up. my Grams is the sweetest, most kind woman you'd ever meet, and that makes the AD that much worse for me to handle when it causes her to say unkind things which she would have NEVER said befor.and when she'd yell at me "the housekeeper" for telling her what to do. deep down I know it's not "her" but.. it's still hard to handle.
annnyway after a fall the hospital put her in the home for rehabilitation, it didn't work and she's still in a wheelchair and we thought it best to let her remain there,thankfully she's happy there. now I visit Weds. and Sundays while no one outside of my immediate family chooses to do so, that's where the bitterness comes in LOL they disappoint me greatly, to the point that I'm a bit glad that gram does not know or realize that they never visit.
did I mention I tend to ramble?
*waves*

Hi, my name is Jackie and I am 48 years old. My husband Al age 71 was diagnosed with AD last year and is in stage 4. We have been together 23 years and married almost 10 years. He is still able to care for himself while I am at work and is still driving local by himself. I am a programmer working at the same company for the last 25 years - my job is my respite and this board helps a lot when I run into things I do not know how to handle or understand. My husband has 2 sons from his first marriage that live several hundred miles away. So far they have been supportive. They want to be involved with talking to doctors and his care. I am somewhat of a control freak and have been struggling with how much involvment is okay and what will have too high a price tag on it in the future. My own family has their share of problems so they cannot be very supportive. My friends and my husband's friends have been wonderful so far and this helps a lot.

my name is Judy and I live in Sarasota Fl. I really don't have two square feet. Its just a catchy phrase for my blog. Kinda like the real estate I own and stand on, on the planet. My dad died in Dec after many years of dealing with Alzheimer's. I am the daughter that lives way across the country. My siblings live within 2 miles of my folks. I came to this forum desperately looking for help and ideas in dealing with my dad, and trying to help. That I found almost daily. Even though my journey with my dad is done, I come back here to offer a bit of hope and ideas for those who are "in" it. I am a graphic designer and work from my home. I am married, and have two teenagers. I can been found on the tennis courts often. Love the game.

quote:

Originally posted by nuthouse:
Thank you Chris.

You are welcome.

so nice to meet all of you.my husband joe,and i take care of my father in law,age 88.he now is at the stage where the dr told us he needs to go a home.we have one planned out for him,but we are not ready yet.he has been with us for 5 yrs.we all been through many good times and other stages that were frightening.he can still feed himself,but so feeble,we are afaird he will fall,when he trys to get around at nite.we are retired,but we really haven,t had life for yourself yet. like most of you,our life is on hole.he hasn,t known joe in yrs.i think the good lord gives a push and helping hand on the days,we wond er how we are going to do it.may we all meet in caretakers heaven one day,and pat each other on the back.god be with you.i forgot to tell you,we live in s.w. oklahoma,texas line.

Oh my God, you guys are awesome, I started this thread almost a year ago and I can't believe that it's still going. I have not been here in a very long time since my Mom has gotten so much worse and I was in a huge depression still caring for her but not doing much else. I see we have so many new members here now and I am so glad that they have found us but so sad that they needed to. I am back and I am so grateful for all of you and your courage and determination,

ttt

I'm Sue and have been on the board since mid last year. I've been the caregiver for my husband of nine years. I live just north of Cincinnati, Ohio in Monroe. He was diagnosed in 2001. HIs funeral was Tuesday.

I live in Central Kentucky. I'm 50 & hubby is 54. We weren't able to have kids. Things with Momma started changing in 2003. She has hernias and we were trying to get everything checked out to get the O.K. for surgery. During the colonostomy they punctured her bowell. Due to having her go back on her meds the same day...which had iron supplements in them...it wasn't noticed until she didn't get over the gas/pain from air that they use during the procedure. Terrible long ordeal with many problems. She ended up being in extended care facility for 3 months before released. During that time I found out that she needed someone to take care of her bills, appointments, etc. and she asked me to be her POA. It wasn't until seeing how messed up her check book, bills, etc. that I realized she had needed help for a long time but didn't want to be a burden. My husband and I asked her to move in with us at this time but she wouldn't give up her home. So, we told her we'd do what we could to help her be independant as long as possible but there might be a day that she'd have to live with some of us.
The last week of Oct. '06 she had a heart attack due to severe UTI. The time had come. Before I had chance to ask Momma if she was ready to come live with us...Hubby went to see her in ICU and told her he thought she was ready to be our room mate ...and she knew it too.
There are 5 of us kids and a grand-daughter that Momma and Daddy raised like another daughter, along with spouses and other grandkids/great grandkids. I'm the middle child with a brother and sister older and 2 sisters younger than me.
Now she lives with me and hubby, takes Airicept and Zyprexa which has helped her, can still stay by herself for 3 or 4 hours at a time at this stage. I work 9-5 leaving home at 8:30 getting home 5:30. Hubby is self-employed and we ride together to work with him dropping me off and picking me up. Him and Momma are great buddies (I'm Blessed!) and have always joked and cut up with each other. She loves him dearly and is tickled pink that he comes home and has lunch with her. He gives her midday meds before he goes back to work. She has a therapist that comes out Tues. & Thurs. for +/- an hour and a Personal Aide that bathes her on Wed., both come in the afternoon. These ladies are home health from Nurses Registry, a great group.
When we first brought her home, the day after Thanksgiving, 2005, she could barely sit up a half hour at a time. I took off work for the first week to get things lined up. My boss agreed to let me work my lunch hour/eating at desk and save my 5 lunch hours to take off at noon on each Friday. This helps me by giving me time to take Momma to doctor appointments, etc. but not have the money taken from my pay check. When I went back to work my oldest sister(she & hubby have severe health problems but she could come and sit with Momma and call us if needed) came and stayed from 10:00am to 3/4:00 or later when needed on Tues. and Thurs along with emotional support calls and gifts to Momma from their daughter & son. My baby sister would come on Mon. and stayed around the same times and stay with her on her day off from work(she has 2 kids, 1 in 1st grade and one who'll be 3 this year that has heart problems, she works 10/12 hour shifts and has back & respritory problems). My brother & wife(they live +/- 2hrs. away and both in poor health, him heart, her, back surgery), his daughter (grand daughter that Mom & Dad raised) and family( live too far away, but love Momma and help every chance they can), the sister after me and her 2 kids(single mom raising 2 great teenagers, she has migranes works 70 hour weeks) all helped/help in different ways. They're all there for moral & physical support and happiness they bring with their visits help Momma so much.
I am so Blessed with all my loved ones. I don't want to sound as if everything is roses because it isn't. The day/night 24/7 of having her live with us and dealing with all her health concerns, all the snares of dealing with doctors/meds/little money/Medicare, plus ALZ gets scarie,tiring and frustrating. Even with the family's and my husband's help...it's me that means security and comfort to her. We're the ones who have to answer her repetitive questions, get woke up when we hear her having a bad dream over the monitor and all the day to day little irks. But we knew this when we asked her to live with us. I try to focus on the positive and let off steam and frustration in ways that help but keep me positive.
The family all have made clear for me and hubby to let them know what is needed of them. So far they have helped in different ways as they are able. We have made clear to them that our home is now 'Granny's' home , too and that they are to not change how they came and visted her.
In many ways it's been much easier on us having her living with us than when we were taking care of her while she was living at her home more than a half hour away. It's been a relief knowing that she is taking her meds, eating, has companionship...and having her with us enables us to hold off crissis that came up due to her taking her meds wrong, etc.
This board is a place where I can come to learn, share, and encourage with people who know the day to day live of LO with these health concerns. Here is the only Support Group that I have. Thank You
Blessings

I'm Anne, 38, married almost 12 years, with 6 year old b/g twins and I live in Utah. I joined this group with my mom to help us find answers in dealing with my maternal grandma, 87, who has mid-stage AD. She's in an ALF and doing very well there so far. My mom just instituted a program a couple of weeks ago where my brother and his wife (in Utah) and aunts and cousins (who are all out of state) call her at least once a week (so she'll get several calls each week). This has seemed to help her soooo much, as she went to dinner in the dining room with my dad on Valentine's day (for the first time in MONTHS). He even convinced her to dance with one of the members of the university's ballroom dance team, which was providing the entertainment (after the show, they asked if anyone wanted to come and dance with them).

Good days, bad days, but it's great to revel in the good ones!!

This site is such a wonderful resource and I'm so glad that we found it!

Anne

Crone, welcome to our forum. It sounds like you Mom is very blessed.

Grannyz, I love the mental pix of her dancing! Wonderful! Glad to have you here with us.

Hi. I'm new here. My name is Susan. I live in northwest Georgia, just a few miles south of Chattanooga, TN, where my parents live. Daddy is 77 & has AD. He was diagnosed about 3 years ago. He really "held his own" for a while and has just recently (past 3-4 months) started declining. Mainly, he has confusion & cannot string together words for his sentences. He then gets very angry at whoever he's trying to talk to when he gets confused about something. My sister lives 1900 miles away in Arizona with her 3 kids & husband.
Thanks for having this board. I'll probably be using it a lot!

Hi, I'm Patti and am new to the board also. I am 52, married, and our 15 year old son and 25 year old daughter live with us. We live in the country in NE Kansas.

Mom (81)was just diagnosed a couple of days ago as moving from the early to mid stages. Dad passed away almost a year ago after battling emphysema for several years. Mom was his caregiver and finally allowed hospice to help during the last couple of months. She has lived alone since and rapidly started declining around Christmas. I tried to contact her doctor with my concerns, but she never returned my calls. A couple of weeks ago she began hallucinating and entered the senior diagnostic center at a local hospital. I found a wonderful ALF near where I work and she moved in yesterday. The hospital recommended we not tell her she has Alzheimer's, but now that she is on medication and feeling better she keeps asking when she can go home. She believes that this is a temporary stay and that she can do fine at home. However, she can no longer live alone and I'm hoping that she will adjust well. She needs her meds monitored, gets lost easily, and can become aggressive.

I am glad to find this forum and hope to find support and help -- and maybe be able to give support also.

Hello Sally,

My name is Wilder and my story is posted as of this date entitled "My Caregiver Experience".

Each of our experiences is unique. Some will be able to do more than others. But if each of us does the best they can with what is available to them, they will come through it feeling pretty good about themselves.

I was a 24/7 guy but if the need had been 20 years earlier that would not have been possible. As it was, my greatest fear at the end was that Joanna would die while I was out walking the dog! But I was lucky and heard her breathing change so I was able to tell her I loved her one more time before she died.

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quote:

Originally posted by DI:
My name is Diane. My husband and I moved in with my Mother 2 1/2 years ago when my step-dad had to go to nursing. He passed away after a couple of months there. My mother is 85 and I believe stage 6.
Husband and I are retired and were visiting son/daughter-in-law and three grandchildren very often. Now we do not have the time away to visit as much. We live in Indiana and they in Pittsburgh. It's hard to know my grandchildren are growing up without me. Mother is doing good mostly, just very confused each evening not knowing where she is and where she is to sleep and at times who we are.
So thankful for this board as we are very much in the boonies and this is my only support group.

Hi, I'm Yvonne (69), wife of Ray (75). We've been married 50 years this last fall. I've been aware of his memory loss for more than 15 years but he was only diagnosed with "Mild demntia" two years ago. I noticed on dr.s chart a few days ago they are now calling it progressive dementia. I would say he is 4/5. In public others don't realize his failings but at home I really do. Even our 4 children don't see the real picture, but they are good to help when I need it. His mother had Alzheimers as well as 3 of her brothers, and two of her sisters so the family has been involved with a research project for a number of years. Ray recently gave up his drivers license semi-voluntarily. He is being pretty good about it. I do not like to drive all that much so we may be a little closer to home. I have very little time to myself as he likes me to be close. I love to read, work on scrapbooks and do computer things including this support group where I lurk mostly and try to learn. Thank you all for being there for each other & being willing to share your experiences.

Hi, I'm Kathy. I live in Georgia. I'm 44 and single (who has time to meet anybody between work and being a caregiver). I live with my Step-Dad, 81 and in relatively good health for his age. My Dad died when I was 1. My Mom is 77, has AD and is living in assisted living. She was diagnosised almost 3 years ago and is now in early stage 6. I am her guardian and as the daughter in the family her primary caregiver. I have a brother who visits Mom regularly and helps out where he will. At the house we also have 6 dogs and 2 cats. I also have 3 horses and 2 barn cats. I teach riding and train horses for a living.

Kathy

Hi, Sally. I noticed you are from Chattanooga. I live in LaFayette, GA, & my parents still live in Chattanooga. My dad has AD. I posted a bit about myself & my dad a couple of days ago. I'm new to this board.
Did you ever meet Mildred Keys Thomas who lives in Chattanooga? She wrote a book about her husband who died of AD in 2001, I believe. It was called, "Life With Alz". I bought the last 2 copies she had just last week.
It is a delightful book, very bittersweet, often quite humorous, but often quite sad - doesn't that perfectly describe life with an AD person?!?
I couldn't figure out how to personally email you. My email address is mrsmusic@volstate.net
Susan

Thank you Twiced Blessed, just coming in to read helps give me comfort.

Hi, I am a 39 yr old mom of 7 (age 18 to 2, all still at home) and wife of Mr. Incredible. I have been frequenting this message board since 2003 or so.

My father had open heart surgery in 1996, and since then he has deteriorated with ALZ. In 2002 Mr. Incredible built on a one bedroom apartment onto our home for my parents to move in with us. Dad went into the nursing home in Feb 2005, and mom still lives with us. Dad is currently in end stage.

In 2005 I had the distinct pleasure of personally meeting KatieO, the Boss and the rest of her lovely family, an experience I will treasure for years to come.
Blessings

I'm Karen. I'm almost 41, married, two teenage girls, living in CHicago.

Dad has lived with us since mom passed away almost 17 years ago. She died of cancer, brought on by alcoholism.

This happened very fast for us, really. My father had been exhibiting some very aggressive, assaultive behavior first witnessed almost two years ago. He has his place in our basement, which has everything he needs except a bathroom. Lately, like the past month or so, things have been happening very quickly to the point of me finally being forced to contact his doctor against his wishes. Our first "family meeting" appt is tomorrow. I don't know if he will go, but I encouraged him to do so because he is delusional and I want him to tell the doctor what he believes and has accused us all of.

He began aricept about 6 weeks ago now, after being diagnosed with mini-strokes and "periods of dementia" according to the doctor. This is what I was told when I finally made the call myself.

It's getting quite frightening and the unpredictability is the worst. He's never been the nicest guy, but this is beyond tolerance really. Although I know it's the disease, I hate subjecting my kids to it. I pray that with the docs assistance that I can find a place for my father where his quality of life will improve.

He has become antisocial and very aggressive and I know he can't be happy that way.

I'm so glad I found this board...I know I will be coming here lots as I am very afraid.

Thanks

I am me. --Jim

What a great idea this is...

My name is Kathy and I live in Washington state. I am 55 years old(wow a senior citizen)and married to a wonderful guy named William and we have been married 31 years. Between the two of us we have four kids. Kelli, shelli,shawn and john, we have 8 grandchildren. I take care of 3 of our grandkids while our kids work. We have been taking care of my 87 year old mother who is now in stages 5-6. She lived with us for about 3.5 years then I found a memory facility and had her admitted. This worked great for about 11 months..the care of the facility went downhill, and we made the decision to removed her and brought her home last september. I decided to give up my job sbecause she needs 24/7 supervision and I just couldn't take care of her and work too. Some days are really hard and then other days go by with not a problem. This desease has so many twists and turns and so different for each person you really never know what to expect. You can take it just one day at a time. Oh, I also have two siblings, enough said. My one shinning star is my cousin Sondra, Her mother is my mom's younger sister and she also has AZ. She is in the late stage. Wnenever I need help or William and I need to get away she is right here to take over. Her father is still alive and is her mother's main caregiver. I don't know what we would do without her. Mom is easy going most of the time. She is incontinent and I have to help her dress..I let her do as much as she can in her care..I don't want to take any of that away from her.

Kathy

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kathy S,

I'm CONNIE, MY ALMOST 89 YR. OLD MOTHER HAS HAD AD FOR APPRO. 5 YRS. NOW.. SHE HAS HAD A SLOW PROGRESSION UNTIL THE LAST 6 MONTHS OR SO, SHE HAS DECLINED QUITE A BIT. I WOULD SAY SHE IS STAGE 5.. SHE MOVED IN WITH MY HUSBAND AND ME IN EARLY DEC. LIKE SALLY MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN GREAT THROUGH THIS AS WELL..MOTHER IS NORMALLY A SWEET PERSON.. AND STILL IS MOST OF THE TIME BUT VERY CONFUSED SHE STIL DOESNT REALIZE SHE IS LIVING WITH US AND ITS BEEN ALMOST 3 MONTHS NOW.. MY ONLY SIBLING (A SISTER) LIVES ABOUT 12 HRS. AWAY AND HAS NOT BEEN HERE TO VISIT SINCE JUNE 2002.. SHE IS TO BUSY WITH HER GRANDCHILDREN.. I HAVE EVEN OFFERED TO PAY FOR HER PLANE TICKET FOR HER TO COME FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS 2 TIMES A YEAR... BUT STILL NO SHOW.. AND SHE IS A WIDOW.. I DO HAVE A NIECE (HUSBANDS)THAT HELPS ME WITH CAREGIVING IN MOTHERS HOME 30-32 HRS. A WEEK.. SO THAT DOES GIVE ME A BREAK.. SOME NITES SHE STAYS SO MY HUSBAND AND I CAN GO OUT TO EAT AND A MOVIE EVERY NOW AND THEN... ALL OF YOU GOING THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE DISEASE ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ALWAYS.. CONNIE- PINK LADY