Hello my name is Sylvia I live in Los Angeles and my father has Alzheimer's. He lives with my mother and sister. I feel really guilty for not helping my family as much as I should. I guess it all became a reality to me when I took my father to the bathroom and had to explain to him what to do and be there in the room with him. I have been scared and sometimes I just do not know how to have a conversation with my father. I am considering going back to school to learn more about Alzheimer so I can help my family. But well I am here because I am sad and feel really guilty but I want to be supportive. I find it extremely difficult to talk about this subject with anyone. I don't know what to do...

hi Rubyan
Ask away here. But it is probably hard to know what to ask.
Read through some of the discussions.
Also, later around 5pm your time, especially on weeknights, check out CHAT....which is live and crazy. Mostly caregivers.

Then contact your local Alzheimer's Assn. You can find it on the home page http://www.alz.org by putting in your Zip code.
Your local Alz Assn will hold classes and have support group meetings.

Just remember no question is dumb, it is the only way we can learn.

Hi Sylvia,

I want to welcome you to this forum. You have definitely come to the right place! There are so many caring people on this board who have shared so much. This board has been a lifesaver for me.

My Mom has Parkinson's disease with dementia and my Dad has vascular dementia. They are in the same NH in Central Massachusetts (I live in NJ and was born and raised in Central Massachusetts). I have been through some rough times with them. I never, in my wildest dreams, thought that they would both end up like this.

This is the best place to come to learn everything that you need to know about Alzheimer's and related dementias. The best thing about this forum is that it's available 24/7, as opposed to support groups that only meet once or twice a month.

We have all experienced the range of emotions that you described - guilt, sadness, anger, etc. Please post often and feel free to vent/cry/get angry, etc. - we care!

Welcome, Sylvia!

I am so glad you found us! This is a wonderful place to learn as well as get support at any time. There are a lot of caring people who know what you are going through.

I think it is fine to just read a lot of the posts to gain information and knowledge of this dreadful disease. But you have already found how to start a thread of your own and get answers to address your questions specifically.

The chat rooms are also a great way to meet people in real time.

Any way you choose, I hope you gain from your contacts with us. I understand your guilt and your fear. Knowledge is power. There are many good books available on Alzheimer's and dementia. One of my favorites is "The 36-Hour Day". It is helpful not only for full-time caregivers, but anyone that comes into close contact with a dementia sufferer.

Another wonderful resource is "Coach Boyle's Playbook", which is available through the Alzheimer's Association on this site.

A quick read is the article "Understanding the Dementia Experience"
http://www.alzheimer.guelph.or...tia%20Experience.pdf
It does a great job of summarizing the key points in dealing with someone with dementia.

I hope this helps you and you keep coming back.

We care.

Hi, Sylvia, welcome to the forum.

The article dj okay gave a link to is excellent, a great place to start.

Coach Boyle's Playbook can be downloaded for free at:
http://www.alzheimersplaybook.com/
The link for the free .pdf is in the upper right-hand corner of the page

The very best book I've found on caregiving for an AD patient is "Creating Moments of Joy" by Jolene Brackey. It's great -- full of very practical, simple advice on how to make our ADLOs happy -- and make us (and your mother and sister) happy in the process. It's paperback, and you can buy used but still like-new copies dirt-cheap by going through amazon.com. Be sure to select a vendor that has received good reviews, and look for the description of the book -- select a copy that is described as "like new" or something similar. And check shipping costs when comparing prices...

There's an excerpt from the book at:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/oncall/Story?id=5326334

Hi, This is the best place to ask question and get answers. All these people have the same problems one way or another. I have found myself coming to this site everyday to read and read. It some strange way it's very comforting to know you not alone in this.

Hi Sylvia, sorry to welcome you to our group. When my mom was first diagnosed and I found this website I spent about a week just reading previous posts - whether I thought they might be relevant to my questions or not and oh my gosh - I got so much valuable information that put me miles ahead of the curve. I urge you to read at least 5 pages worth of posts and see if it doesn't help "empower" you. And as you can tell, if there's anything any of us can do or any question we can answer - just holler.
Marie