Alzheimer’s Association Online Community
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Hi all,
My Mothers roommate in the NH died the other night. She had terminal cancer and was suffering. I'm glad she is free of her pain, but it really affected me emotionally and I just want my mom to be around as long as possible. She is about stage 6/7 and her vitals are good right now and her only health problems are diabetes and blood pressure, but those are under good control. I see how sick these poor folks are and it breaks my heart. My mom is doing so much better than most of them and I want to keep it that way. I don't know what i'm trying to say, but just wanted to share how I was feeling about the situation. I just hope who ever is her next roommate is in somewhat decent health. |
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sorry to hear...how is your mom handling that news or does she know what really happened? Of course this would be upsetting to you and make you want to hold on to your mom even tighter..it would be too. Sometimes I really don't know how my dad (stage 5) has made it this far.. 82yrs old AD, diabetes, heart disease, and the list goes on and he is still here...i just credit his strong will and love of family.
Just keep praying for your mom and loving her thats all any of us can do. kim "people will forget what you say, people will forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel" maja angelou |
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Of course you're upset. Every time I read about someone's LO passing on here I get upset because it hits so close to home.
The beautiful things about these boards is that it allows us to just write out our feelings without being judged or to have any other reason to do so other than having empathetic eyes to read what we write. I will keep my fingers crossed that your mother gets a good roommate in good health. |
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Thanks Kim. I'm not sure how aware my mom is of it. She and the lady didn't talk much, but I know she was aware she did share the room with her. I told her that the lady died and she told me she knew, but it's probably all forgotten now. I do love these boards because like marjk said, you all don't judge or try to beat up on people like some others do. I mean heck I was blasted on a dating website message board for sharing a bad dating experience and they all blamed it on me! Needless to say, I never will return to those and prefer to go voice my opinions with people that are loving and understanding. |
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Sorry to hear that your mother's roomate died; hopefully, like many of us, she will adapt to the loss if she is lucid enough to understand what happened. I'm getting ready to place my mom who does not have any behavioral problems, but could you share when/why you place your mom in a NH? It would help me a great deal. My email is smariej@yahoo.com, Thanks, Bela
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Pamela, I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's roommate dying...I have been through this and it is very hard. The roommates daughter still comes to see my mom and me. That is one true friend.
Due to my mom's alz. it didn't seem to affect her..this is always something that is on our minds as usually they don't except change very well. Good luck to you and your mom and I hope the change is not hard for her. To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world. |
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Okay folks..now I know God has a good sense of humor but I don't know what to call this. My mother now has a new roommate as of today who doesn't speak of lick of english and has AD! She only speaks spanish and what little I know I kept telling her I don't speak spanish and she kept talking to me in spanish! Even the staff don't understand her, so this is not going to be fun at all. Then of course she is a wanderer and the NH is a non restraint facilty so I don't know what to do. I can see this is going to be suckful, so I'm hoping her familia (family) can place her in a bilingual home otherwise the staff, my mother and I are going to go loco!
Anyway, still trying to keep some humor in it. Keeps me sane lol ( I think!)  |
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How sad about your Mom's roomate. You know,,my Mother also shares a room with a gal...and they are the best of pals. I've often wondered what each one will do when the time comes that one of them passes away.
Your Mom seems to have handled this pretty well,,and I too hope that if she gets another roomate,,that they are compatible. I think that when Mom or Nancy,(her roomate) should pass,,its going to be a very sad and confusing time for which ever one is left. And I'm sorry,,I don't mean to sound morbid,,but since my Mother is in ALF with a roomate that she enjoys so much,,,I've given thought to this type of thing. Please keep us posted on how your Mom is handling things a bit further down the road. Peace |
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Thanks so much Raven!! Read my post above..she got a new one..today..who doesn't speaka da english! Yikes! |
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A lot of residents talk and don't make any sense -- and they are speaking English. I don't think there is anything for YOU to do. If her wandering becomes a problem, the facility will have to deal with it. I advise all to NOT take any valuables -- so the wanderers won't have anything of real value to move to another spot. |
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My mother had a roommate once that spoke no English. Of course this was in rehab after knee surgery and my mother was at very early stage dementia where she was hiding it. The woman spoke only Russian and my mother speaks only English. Oh boy did they get along great! They would actually sing together, nursery songs. My mother in English and the roommate in Russian. When the roommate's son came to visit, he would translate for them. They would be so happy to be able to actually converse with each other.
The point is, you never know how things can work out. What you think might be a horrible situation can turn into a wonderful one. |
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