The Ancient Toddler was eating dinner and I was playing the piano. She looked at DH and asked "Is she your wife?". DH said "Yes; she's also your daughter.". Puzzled look on A.T.'s face. Pang of sorrow in my heart. Will I ever get used to this?

I'm beginning to suspect that I can adjust to things intellectually, but not emotionally - at least not completely.

You are soooooooo right -- it's that emotional part that's so difficult.

I'm beginning to agree with my mother on so many things that I sometimes wonder who the one is with Alzheimer's. Did I really know that person from the "old days."

Yesterday (my Mom's birthday), she kept telling me that on that day she was giving birth to me -- ok, well that's a medical mystery! :-)

I know I will never get used to it. Accept but not used to. Mother ask my brother "how long have we been married" He about fell out but handled ok. We laughed later but still sad.
Mother was 80 on last birthday and she did not even realize it was her birthday..She held all the cards and handled a lot but outwardly no knowledge of day.

So that is why we have each other here. Today has been about the crying...
If you have not been to the thread under caregivers who have lost love one must go and listen to song Jim wrote about his wife who had alz. Plus a poem that Sue's niece wrote about her grandfather. Both so moving.
A fellow traveler on this road (that is not so lonesome anymore) we all share.

Sheryl

Try as I might, I don't think I will ever "get used to it". Intellectually yes, but as others said, emothionally? No. Because the sadness, at times, just permeates everything.

There was the time when my father was asking me questions about his marriage (something he can't remember at all now - this was about a year and a half ago). He turned to me and said, "And did we have children?"

Quick moment of existential crisis and then my brains exploded. And then I went on talking to him and told him about his children.

He now identifies me as several different people, and also asks after my (nonexistent) son, who also seems to be me.

But as somebody pointed out to me recently, in all of my different roles, I'm always someone significant to him, and he always sees me as a helper and friend. So I try to work with that.

It's not much but it's what i've got.

Hope this helps.


Best,
Alan

Thank you, all. Alan, I found your words to be comforting and educational. You are so right; my Mom always speaks of me--and to me--kindly and with great gratitude. I guess it matters more that I know who she is than it does that she knows who I am!