In October my mother was diagnosed with AD. My sister came down from DC, and my wife and I talked with the her doctor. He said she should go into Assited Living how while she could participate in the decisions. We did this and we found her a place she liked and we all felt comfortable with. She filled out all the paperwork and even gave them a check to hold he spot.

We put her house on the market and said we would move at the end of January 07. We have a contract on the house and now she says that she is NOT moving. She is getting very beligerent and has decided that she does not want to go to the AL facility and did not fill out any paperwork orr give them a check.

She cannot live in her house anymore and I do not have the room for her at my house. How do we get her to move, without physically carrying her there?

We are very frustrated and concerned.

This seems to be a popular question on here!!! I am not at that point of moving to assisted living but we are moving my Grandmother in here. She finally, after two months of talk with her, agreed to it tonight. I about dropped dead where I stood! In my case, I think Grams is at the point of admitting she needs help and doesn't want to do it alone anymore.

I think your mom is just plain scared. I do not have AD and yet I know if someone sold my house and moved me to a strange place, I would panic and dig in too. What a big change for your poor mom. I tell Grams her memories are not the house but what she takes with her. It isn't the walls or the roof, it is the laughter of those within and we will be going with her and never abandoning her.

I am sorry I don't have much to offer on advise but I just wanted you to know that I so understand and to wish you luck.

This is such a difficult situation. Is there an completed contract on the house? Is it absolutely sold?

If so; though Mom is frightened of the change, there is not much recourse for her. You will have to give her a choice; the assisted living she likes, or a second facility. The entire family must stand firm with a united front. I have a friend who actually had to contact Adult Protective Services as her mom refused to budge, (friend also was not able to take mom into her home). APS related that if mom had no place to live thru refusal, this would be sufficient that they would come out and do an intake. They would speak to Mom and if necessary, could get legal permission to move Mom. Fortunately, in the nick of time that was not necessary.

If there is NOT a final contract on the house and it falls thru, one thing that you could do, is have mom go to Assisted Living without selling the house for three months. If she hated it and it was a nightmare for her, she would have a safety net to return home.

I can tell you, 99.99%, mom will adjust to assisted living, love the freedom and socialization and not fuss one whit about selling the house. Help her decorate and move her favorite items, and settle her in. Be certain that family and friends visit VERY often during the intial phase after moving so she does not feel abandoned. She is probably just anxious and frightened re change.

Best of luck, let us know what happens.