Dear Forum Friends: My mother's memorial service was lovely and everything went well.

I am pretty much fatigued and in that no-man's land of "let down" and having a hard time processing Mother is gone.

BUT - I will be away from the community a bit longer. My poor 93 year old step-dad, (Alzheimer's Disease), has taken an abrupt and extreme downturn in his condition.

Wandering, delusions, avoiding hygiene, refusing to wear anything on his bottom half, as in stark naked in the living room, (oh tribulation), up all night, drug seeking, refusing to sleep in his bed and delusions.

He is in the midst of a battery of tests as he is constantly complaining of abdominal pain and nausea (but continues to eat full meals, snacks and no problem with elimination); it is so dreadfully sad and of course contributes to the bone-deep tired feelings. Meds being adjusted by Neuro, etc.

With good fortune perhaps we can get Dad into a better condition for his quality of life.

I miss all of you and hope to "see" you soon.

Fondly,

Johanna C.

Take care, Johanna. I hope that they can help your step-father!

Thank you for letting us know, Johanna. I hope you can take some time for yourself as well as helping your step-dad. We'll be thinking of you !

Dear Johanna, I am happy to hear your mother's service was a comfort to you. Please go and tend to your needs and oversee step-dad's care with a clear conscience. I hope you get the needed time to process all that has happened recently and recharge your batteries to ensure that your quality of life does not suffer. We'll miss you but honor your need to disappear for awhile. Best wishes. Beth in SC

Dear Johanna:

My laptop was being overhauled and I just got back on to find your mother had passed. I feel for you, and hope you will begin feeling some peace soon.

Johanna, please know that you stay in our thoughts. Thank you for letting us hear from you, although I wish the news were better.

You know the rule - put on your own oxygen mask first! May God feed you with His strength to carry you through these hard times.

Well, don't say what next! I am glad you were able to get some comfort from your mom's service. Now, take care of you and her step-father. I hope you can find a reason for this significant change - other than possibly the passing of your mom.

Take care.

Johanna I am glad your moms memorial service went well.I was thinking fo you the other day how kind you were when I first came here to the forum..Your stepfather is lucky to have you watching out for him...I will be thinking of you both and hope he gets the care he deserves....take care

Johanna,,I'm so glad that you stopped in to update us on how you're doing,,and whats going on in your life. I do hope that they can get your step dad regulated and get some "drawers on his lower half"!

Please take care of yourself,,and update us on things again,,,when you can find the time. Peace & Blessings to you and yours.

Thanks for the updates and I will put you and your stepfather in my prayers. You are a wonderful daughter.

Johanna, I'm happy you've updated us on your life! Plse take care of yourself and get your dad situated, as best you can. Not easy but know we'll be thinking of you and wish you the best of luck!!

Come back soon and keep us posted on your progress.

miss you and think of you often. Glad all went well with your Mother's service. Prayers for resolution to Step Dad's recent issues. Take care of yourself and come back when you can.

Hi Johanna, so glad you updated us, but sorry to hear of this new development.

I can only guess what that no-man's land feels like for you. It's wonderful though that the service went well. I'll bet everyone was touched and pleased to receive one of your mom's recipes -- such a nice idea (did I tell you I'm stealing it?).

Take some time, and know that our thoughts are with you.

Johanna, thoughts and prayers are coming your way. This is an unbelievably difficult time -- and you will get through to the other side. Peace.

Mari

Johanna, one tragedy after another. I'm so sorry and wish I could help you as you have so many of us. You and your family remain in my heart and prayers.

Johanna,
I will keep you in my thoughts and will pray for peace for you and your family. Heaven knows you could use a little!

Johanna,

I was just looking for you yesterday to see if I had missed an update. I'm so sorry things are still bad with your step-dad. You will be missed, but take care of you!

Hugs & prayers,

Hi Johanna,

I'm glad that your Mom's memorial service went well but sorry to hear that your stepdad has taken a turn and is declining quickly.

I hope that you will be able to get some resolution to your stepdad's medical issues and that you will take the chance to refresh and recharge yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Dear Johanna, I'm glad you were able to have your Mother's memorial service at last. I hope your step-father will be stabilized soon. Take care of yourself. I'll be praying for you.

Iris L.

I will keep you and your step-dad in my prayers, Johanna.
Namaste.

Johanna, sorry to hear that step-dads condition in taking a downturn. I do hope they can get things back to some kinds of normal.

Johanna,
I haven't been on this forum on many months.
Sadly I've joined another forum more suited
to whats going on in my life right now.
I wanted to check in on all of you today and I
saw that your Mom passed. I'm so sorry, and for
what your Step-Dad is going through also. God
bless you; you took excellent, loving care of
your Dear Mom, and are still for your Step Dad.

Johanna - I've just started posting on this forum again in the past two weeks. I remember that you offered good advice to me when I was new here. I am grateful for that. Please accept my condolences on your mom's passing, and I wish you all the best as you are now helping your step-dad.

Thank you everyone.

So much going on. Poor step-dad. His Seroquel was changed to 50 mg three times a day from 100 mg. at night. It seemed to help - at least he is tolerating wearing pants and not so agitatedly awake all night.

However, his abdominal CT Scan indicated Severe Mesenteric Artery Stenosis greater than 90%.

He has an extensive ventral abdominal wall hernia aextending from the umbilicus to the pubis containing mesenteric fat and small bowel.

He also has extensive arterial sclerotic changes on the abdominal aorta with a dilatation of the aorta that is not an aneurysm - kind of like a pre-aneurysm.

He also has bilateral renal cysts and multiple cysts on his liver.

He's 93 years old. Everything is wearing out.

There is a vascular surgery consult pending. While I think that doing a simple balloon angioplasty with stent would be tolerated well and would assist in avoiding developing mesenteric ischemia; I am hoping his son does not opt for any large open vascular surgery if that is recommended.

Dad would not likely survive the ordeal, and if he did, he would undoubtedly sustain profound permanent changes with his Alzheimer's Disease. At 93, you'd think that he would be able to live gently. Darn those bodies of ours, they fall apart when we need peace the most.

His DIL is over the moon which is understandable; however, not all interventions or interactions with medical staff and Dad's Seroquel has been positive. Clinic interactions could be described as loudly hostile and counter-productive. She also doesn't think he has Alz's. and wants "proof" of it because he is still "so bright."

She more or less has stated she feels Alz's pts. drool and stare vacantly at nothing and have NO memories. I've explained multiple times and provided literature, but it is not yet understood. It is difficult when people don't know what they don't know and just bluster forward running on emotion without thought and make threats of lawsuits, etc. That will block open communication with healthcare providers. She means well, but oh my.

She also without physician input arbitrarily decided to cut his Seroquel to one 50 mg. tab per day rather than the three per day, as he is "not crazy, he is sick." Already the changes in his behavior going backward is becoming evident.

I am the step-daughter. His son is a good person, but totally, totally, passive. It is what it is. The only important thing is that the poor fellow gets the medical care and comfort he so needs and deserves.

Again, thank you for your kind words and warm thoughts. We'll see what happens next.

Johanna C.

Johanna, so sorry to hear all this about your poor dad...I just cannot believe with all of your knowledge and experience the DIL will not listen to you That just makes it all the harder...you are a saint my friend...i will keep you in my prayers..keep us posted when you can..i know your plate is very full..

God Bless,
kim

Johanna, this sounds like a really difficult ordeal. You sound remarkably cool headed and put together, and I hope you have plenty of good people around you to make coping with the process a little easier. Good luck to you.

I have been away for awhile and now today learned of your Mother's passing. So very sorry Johanna. Take the time you need. This caregiving business is very exhausting stuff.

Johanna, I have been away a while, too. I am so sorry about your mom's passing and the troubles you've been going through. I feel terrible that I'm just learning about it now. You're such a tremendous support to all of us here, and it's amazing considering how much you do for your family. God bless. Big hugs.

Very sorry, Johanna. You've had and have an awful lot going on and you've offered much strength to so many here. Sending a prayer your way.

Sending you lots of "huge hugs across the miles",,and lots of prayers of comfort too.

Sure do hope that you can get your step dad feeling better and on a more regulated schedule.

Hope to see you posting again as soon as you feel up to it. Peace & Blessings

Johanna, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Just knowing that she is in a better place should give you comfort. I hope you don;t leave us here, we can all still use your knowledge and support. ((((((((Johanna))))))))

Tracy