Hi all -

My mother (who is not diagnosed with anything) is fast moving from being an animal lover to an animal hoarder. I do not know what to do about it. She collects strays, and at first she started with 2 cats from a friend whose cat had a litter, but now, I'm really not sure how many she has, I just know it's approaching 20. A lot of them hide in the house, but you definitely know they are there (if you catch my meaning). She also has a collection of "outdoor cats", and it's getting really messy out there.

I've tried in the past to talk to her about this, but no dice. She's really in deep here, and digs her heels in about finding new homes or stopping with the "collecting". She will say things like, "Well, I don't know what other people will do to them", or "What can I do, they keep coming to me?" She can get really defensive about it, to the point of anger. To the point of threatening to kick out the other people who live in the house with her!

In my brain, I am thinking of calling APS or some animal organization to help me help her, since nothing I say works, but in my heart, that just makes me feel like the wicked witch of not only the west, but the entire planet. I thought of calling her friends to have an intervention, but I'm terrified of it backfiring with them thinking I'm a bad daughter and telling her what I'm up to.

I cannot tell fiblets, such as "Oh, I'll take this cat", because I don't live there, and because I honestly wouldn't be able to keep up with her collecting anyway.

I'm open to any advice/suggestions/pep talks.

Thanks in advance.

I would call the ASPCA or Humane Society.
I would do this anonymously and deny it all if it ever comes out.
I would mention that she has dementia and is hording animals.
They deal with similar situations on a daily basis.
This will only get worse if allowed to continue.
Good Luck.
Peace,
Dani

You say that she isn't diagnosed with anything, but hoarding of any kind is a sign of mental illness. Can you talk to her doctor? At least alert the doctor that there may be a problem?

I have a friend whose mother hoards things, and she sneaks into the house and removes things when her mother is away. Can you do that? I suppose she'd really notice if you took a LOT of cats at once, but maybe just a few at a time? (Just a thought!)

Also, is the house clean? Does it smell? Those are major signs of a problem.

Good luck to you.

Bev

~~Maybe this can be what gets Mom into the hospital so she can get a diagnosis~~

That's a lot of cats.

Is there a cat rescue organization in your area? Maybe a group like that might be able to help. Veterinarian's offices may also help. There is probably a Humane Society near you.

Fiblets. Uggggh.
I prefer 'controlled truth'.

This issue does need to be addressed. Above and beyond the fact that this is not healthy for your mother the cats are at risk as well. And that is where any guilt you might be carrying flies right out the window! Rather than taking something away from Mom you are giving Mom a gift. The gift of caring for her pets as she would, if she were well.

Maybe if APS came in they could do something about getting her hospitalized for an evaluation. APS can be tricky to navigate, though. Keep in touch, please.

I agree with BL1946. I found that the best approach with my dad's animal collection was to "steal" a few and take them to the shelter. If she has dementia, chances are she will not really notice MANY missing over time. And if she does say something the best response is "I guess they found a home with someone else who loves them too."

And besides the fact that it's not healthy for HER, it's also not healthy for the animals. They need to be neutered or spayed and vaccinated... and probably wormed and treated if they have been out and about for a while. Not to mention ticks and fleas. Ugh! Keeping animals as pets requires more than just feeding them.

I'd start by following NDuke's advice. Get the problem under reasonable control. It's nice for mom to have cats. But not so many. Try to make the situation more manageable. Maybe mom could go to work in a local animal shelter. As a volunteer. Under close supervision, of coruse. When Jeanne had Alzheimer's in the esrlier stages we worked once a week as volunteers at the local animal shelter. And I saw to it that Jeanne worked with me. She got great satisfaction out of that. Because she loved animals. We'd take dogs out for exercise. Together. Or play with the carts. Together. And do the shelter's laundry. Together.--Jim

Wow!

Thank you so much everyone. This stinks, but it's so wonderful to have some moral support. It's going to be tricky, but I'm alone in this and need some backup, so I may go with the ASPCA route and see what happens.

Unfortunately, because of the situation with my father, the fact that I work full time and also the fact that she seems to be "distancing" from me (telling me it's not a good time to visit whenever I come out, she's sick, etc.), I need some additional hands to help with this.

I'm so sad that my family is such a mess. It really breaks my heart. But this is good advice and has helped to clear my head about things.
Thank you.

Oh, the doctor advice is great, and would totally work, except that she has no health insurance, and so, no doctor.
She is not of medicare age yet.

Shelly:

Here's a link about animal hoarding that might provide you with some information and hopefully some help: www.animalhoarding.com/

Hoarding is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and needs to be treated. If you go to the internet and type in animal hoarding you'll get several hits and also there is an article listed somewhere there by Randy Frost who is an expert on hoarding.

Sometimes the person has other hoarding issues and sometimes it evolves into other types of hoarding or behaviors. It's a good idea to check with ASPCA and get information there, too, I'm sure they have experience with this, it's not that uncommon. Good luck to you.

JRB, thanks so much. The problem does actually extend past the animals. She can't seem to throw anything out a lot of the time. Just this weekend, I was throwing out some of my own stuff that I had left there a long time ago, things like hand lotion and nail polish remover pads that were dried out, no big deal, and she was trying to "rescue" it from the trash. It was all old expired stuff. I haven't even seen this stuff in over a year. Yeesh. Makes me wonder what she's still using on her face, or what kind of expired pills she might be taking. Yeesh. I'm panicked now.

I have some experience with hoarding. I have a family member who is a hoarder, not cats, but things. It is a huge problem, space and finances. It took a long time for him to realize he had a problem, but realizing it, doesn't make it go away. It takes specialized treatment. It is a very strange and complex disorder and there are a lot of books and articles written about it. Randy Frost, Michael Tompkins are experts in the field. Here is another link that might be helpful to you in getting information: www.ocfoundation.org/hoarding/

Great, right? Another thing to think about. Don't panic, get information and read about it, check out resources in your area that treat this disorder. Check with mental health organizations in your area. Make sure if she sees someone that the person is really truly trained in cognitive behavior therapy. A lot of these people say they are trained, but are not. It's not just a matter of clearing out the animals and stuff, it's retraining how a person thinks and changing their behaviors, and for that a professional who is trained needs to come into the picture. Good luck to you. I'm sorry you have to deal with this as well as the AD. But sometimes just understanding the problem is a hugh help.

And having friends to help you think clearly is a big help, too! Thanks JRB and everyone who posted with their ideas. It helps me to not feel so overwhelmed. I'll do my best. I'll post back to let you know what happens. Might take a while.....

Other than aphasia, one of the first signs to me that something was amiss with Dad was his "need" to have so much. He had probably 40 pairs of slacks... the exact same style from the Dollar Store, but in different sizes. He would take the ones that didn't fit in to have the altered (for more than the slacks initially cost). He had shoes... and shoes... the space between the wall and his bed was carpeted in pairs of shoes. There must have been 30 or more pair. I finally convinced him to put them under the bed so he wouldn't trip over them at night. :/ He would come to me with a sale ad so often. He wanted to go shopping... and since I had taken his keys just a bit before this... I couldn't refuse. I remember one time we went to a department store to get him a shirt on sale and he picked out 4 of the exact same shirt because he liked it. *duh!* He had so many clothes that my poor stepmom was gradually pushed out of the master bedroom closet AND extra wardrobe. She kept her clothes in the spare bedroom. He needed a new coffeemaker... he'd buy TWO of the same make and model. It was so rare that he would ever get just ONE of anything. AND... living in the country where people dump animals out to "survive", he had to keep every animal that made it's way here, too.

Sounds to me as though your mom needs to see a doctor! I recommend that you get in touch with your local Area Agency on Aging. Explain the insurance situation and see if they can offer some help. There ARE clinics out there... and doctors who offer the uninsured special discounts for service. My doctor does. I have been uninsured for 7 years now.

As to the distancing you feel... often dementia patients "beg out" of situations that would put them close to someone who would notice that something was wrong with them. They know that they "aren't exactly right" and are afraid that it will be discovered. If there is any way you can manage it, I highly recommend "just dropping by" from time to time. Be "in the area" and stop in to visit. Also, dementia patients tend to "mask" their symptoms for short times making them appear normal. They even fool medical personnel, so be prepared to look for the little things.

NDuke:

I think Shelly might have mentioned that her dad has AD and up to this point, her mom hasn't been diagnosed with anything. It's possible that her mom does have dementia and that she needs to be seen by a doctor. But if she doesn't have dementia, it sounds like obsessive compulsive disorder which is treated in a completely different way than dementia. It gets complicated because some dementia patients develop traits of hoarding and then there are the people who develop this disorder who don't have dementia. My family member is one of these, he's had OCD since being a child, it's taken on different forms through the years. Either way, the person needs to be seen and treated appropriately. Your suggestion on the Area Agency on Aging is a good one, they would probably have information on hoarding as well as dementia. Hoarding is prevalent in the elderly also, not exclusively, but prevalent.

As I look around MY place, I fear that I could be called a "hoarder," too! I have soooooooooo much craft "junque," and it's taking over the house. I'm NOT making light of Shelly's situation. I think that I'm possibly in the early stages? Mid stages? of being a hoarder. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Don't worry. It's a problem if it interferes with daily living, people tend to isolate themselves because of the shame associated with it, the living conditions truly become unmanageable. It's the inability of being able to throw anything away, and I mean, anything. It is complex for sure.

I agree with the others that it mightbe helpful to contact the local animal shelter or ASPCA. I have found that when I have a head on collision with my step father over what we should or shouldn't do, someone outside of the family usually changes his mind. Especially if that person wears a uniform. He seems to have more respect for them than for me. And I'm sure this won't be the first time an animal shelter employee has dealt with an elderly person who truly wants to help but get's in way too far with an overabundance of animals. Eventually you have to worry about sanitation and disease for both the animal and the human beings in the home. 20 cats means a lot of food, kitty litter, shots, and fleas to be dealt with by one person. I too would mention the hoarding behavior to the primary doctor as well. Good luck!

BL, I'm not a professional, but I think you are probably fine, because you recognize the clutter, and the clutter sounds isolated in the form of crafting. I wonder about myself, too, because my place gets cluttered. It's usually because I'm busy and get waaaaay too much mail. >
My clutter happens on tops of tables.

Again, thanks to everyone. Very good advice. I think my main fear is creating a sense of more loss for my mom, since it seems like the cats are her "babies". I'm afraid that my way will just create tension, like what Krista said about her father. If someone trained to talk with a person with this problem checks out the situation, it might carry more weight, and they might not cause her to become so defensive. that's what I'm hoping, anyway.

Call Animal Control and report it. They'll come out and take away almost all of them when they see that they are not licensed or vacinated. Plus when you call,,let them know that she also keeps alot of them in her house,,most likely the police will come along as an escort.

Then I suggest that you make a call to your Mom's family Dr and tell him what she's diong,,and how she's acting,,and get her into a nuerologist to see whats going on in her head. Peace

I have heard that obsessive compulsive disorder and animal hoarding are related ( and may respond to the same medications) so I think your mom needs to see a MD with or without insurance. Initally I think I would ask your MD to see your mom since you can explain what is going on privately first. Later maybe there is help available from the county or state. The suggestion of calling the humane society and requesting that they keep your name out of it is also very good.

Thanks again! I'm thinking of using a combination of everyone's suggestions in a specific order, starting with the least threatening one first. I may be able to get her old MD from when she did have insurance to help.
They had a good rapport and he's pretty straightforward. I'm going to call his office tomorrow. Thank you for all the moral support and the great ideas.

Hi,

This is a great thread. I wonder if the medication works on hoarding by itself? With VAD and AZ, I don't think my aunt can do the cognitive stuff.

- Sharon

No, unfortunately medications don't have an impact on hoarding. Hoarding is one of the most difficult OCD's to treat. Hoarding can be managed through behavioral cognitive therapy, and even then with that, there is no 100% cure rate, the most you can hope for is managing the compulsive behaviors, the impulse never goes away, but changing behaviors is the key. I think it would probably not be feasible for an AD person to go through the behavior cognitive therapy. I think what needs to happen in the case of an AD person who is hoarding is to go in and remove as much as possible of the items that are being hoarded and control it for them, intercepting bringing anything more in. You should never remove things while they are present, it would only upset them a great deal. It has to be a discreet process of eliminating. A family member of mine was given Lexapro and it did not do a thing as far as alleviating the hoarding impulse. He discontinued using it. It actually made him too laid back and not willing to address his hoarding behaviors.

Hi ShelleyShell12.

Your Mother has a wonderful heart and a generous hearth! Animal Rescue Groups from coast to coast send their thanks.

I would NOT call animal control. What I WOULD do is call the local animal shelter to OBTAIN names of cat rescue groups. Contact them and explain your situation.

They can come and rescue the "extra" kitties. Also, they can work with your Mother to be an "official" foster home to house rescues temporarily; and impose restrictions such as no more than 3 cats in the household during any one period...and rotate the foster cat(s).

She will feel she is contributing (and she is!), but is limited to the number of rescues and in constant contact with feline rescue groups.

If you care to share your locale or provide your email address I would be happy to help you locate feline rescue groups.